" so yeah, she lost one... "
get it together or forget it forever.
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" we all need one, we all need somebody to hold us down "
i would call it a night, but i'm wide away with alot of energy so i won't even bother going to bed. i'm sittin in bed though, watchin wild wild west, waiting on something to come on the tv. i doubt anything good will come on though, i'm a just have to hit up on demand and search like lastnight. i watched made of honor, shit was actually good. i don't think i'd run in during a wedding to tell a broad i loved her and blah blah. for one, i ain't tryna get played. she still marry the niggah after i do all that shit. no purpose. uhh, tomorrow suppose to be stormy. i was going to go to florence w/ wan to some Alpha Pi Alpha probate. i just wanted to go to see a certain somebody, but i doubt i'll ride out there alone. no reason. travis tryna go to the club down the street, tryna get me to go out there. i gotta get a new cell phone, take my nephew back to my sisters, and some more shit. it's too much happening tomorrow. my back hurts right now though. i think i need to stop bloggin and lay down. i wanna play 2k9 but all of a sudden i got lazy and don't even feel like scoring a million points with my created player. it's fun to shut down kobe & lebron though, i be in here talkin shit every shot i put up in there faces. every cross over or dunk. " she sees something in me, that i don't. " but fuck that. i got a question, what man wouldn't have questions, if a girl u usde to date and still talk to has a dude, that she done things with, got picture of them all on each other kissin, and then have her admitt he has a part of her heart but " no feelings ". even though that don't makes any sense, what man wouldn't have questions ? i'm just curious, am i suppoe to be cool with that ? my bad, i ain't that type to let everything be ignored. not even the smallest shit. cause i don't like being in the dark about shit, nor being played. i'm carryin on... but it's like this, if theres nothin between her and dude then why is he still in the picture. if there wasn't no feelings , regardless to how the relationship even occured... why are you still mentioning him ? why is he on ya mind, touchin on you. nothing more to say about it though. " i preach gratitude, she keeps an attitude. argue long enough & that shit becomes laughable. " don't lead me on, bullshit me or try to play me. i ain't bout to sit round and wait for you to "pick me". its now or never, i can't be chasing you round forever,when i don't even chase broads. but yeah, i need to stay off facebook & myspace. as much as i say that, i know i wont. facebook atleast, i don't be on myspace like that anymore. i erased my whole friend list and just logg on every other day. not even then, i logg on when i have a reason to, and latley it's only been one reason i logg on and THAT reason has just sent me a message and it's 1:00 AM. wow. it's strange that i was just typing about myspace and my yahoo mesage " Myspace - BLAH BLAH BLAH " popped up in the corner. and it's crazy, i get this weird feeling everytime. i've only felt this way once, and that was a while ago. nervous, lightheaded, curious, stomach hurtin, but at the same time sittin here with a lil smile on my face let me end this though. " sometimes love.... comes around. & it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down " i smoked all my black a few minutes ago soooo, no more smoking for a while now. and no homo! but i actually like keri hilson or whatever her name is. she gets a thumb up for this song with these dudes. i might be stuck listening to this all night. " She's My, Bow wow Ft. T pain
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" tell me that you need me, then you go & cut me down... "
hello world, i'm feelin better than usual. - but uhh travis from NTL ( make note, i don't know what the fuck that stands for) can actually sing, i thought he rapped or some shit, so i overlooked his songs. i guess i'll start actually listening to every artist instead of assuming. i like his cover of the song though, it's decent. right now i'm hot & shit. i guess it's cause i keep jumpin up and shit. i need to stay still. pepper ( cousin gf ) well idk, she called me today after textin me. lol, i won't speak on that situation though. it's funny though, believe me. so the question that most readers ask, before they even read a lick of someones blog is " what's going with so&so " " what problems will i read about " " who he/she datin, having issues with " "what's going on with this persons life " well, nothing's going on. just tryna get a job, get my summer classes. PASS my classes right now. problems ? girl problems like always, not really girl problems though. it's just a bunch of confusion and i think i'll sooner or later make my mind up. i don't like being a "option" or having competition. if that's the case, i'll leave the picture and make it more easier. i mean, that's just me. if it got to the point where i'm one of the many options or whatever. like... okay "he's a, he's b, and he's c" point blank, if it comes to that... just leave it alone. " fucked around & turned me down " as bad as i don't wanna just let it just go like that and force myself to move along... i'd rather do that then to be "chosen" outtah many others. i don't date, i'm not datin anyone... no issues that i haven't spoke on. my life ? basically it's like a up and down motion. at one point, i'm feelin great, lookin at things in a positive way, see things going my way... next minute i'm dissapointed, my positive look turns negative quick and i'm back to square one. like i'm takin 1 step foward then 4 steps backwards. i move ahead, but get pushed back so much it's like i've barley even went anywhere. maybe i just get too excited too early, i should just let things play out. no matter what though, i'm a look foward. i'm just gone play my role. i'm not steppin in the way of nobodies happiness, not force'n anything. i'm just gone sit back and go along with the flow. accept all dissapointments & failures. now let's get off my life and my situation. i havent blogged inna minute. this has made me felt way better. all thoughts cleared ( not all ). today/tonight, i texted or tried to. my phone actin up i think i'm a need a new one soon. and watched movies & the game mostly. went to school but that was a waste. went through a quiz and some class work. i need to find something to do with this blog shit. i mean, this shit is aight but i know i'll get annoyed or tired of it in a few days. i give it a week or less. if not, i'll just let someone else find me a skin. i hate lookin on them damn sites for skins. but i think i'll end this. ya'll have a great & safe weekend. " Taio Cruz, Give My Love Away "
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go to archives to read the blogs, changes are on the way.
hawluh.
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ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
"& treatin me like the rest is a vital mistake "
i been listening to this song for the past two days, i'm gettin tired of it though. today, has been crazy. from annoying nephews, to being annoyed by everything and everyone. last night, i got caught up in a lil mess. i left it alone though, she just made it seem like a big deal when it wasn't. but it's nothing, i'm a just drop it and leave it alone, wan was kind've the blame i got in the mess. NAH i won't blame him, he told me not to do it and i did anyway ( even if he was jokin ) i should've listened. so myspace is a no limit zone for me, but i don't listen so i'll be back on there before the day ends. oh! i logged on a few seconds ago but that was just to see who was online & what not. nobody, just seen tianna and some dude in a pic kissing or... whatever it was. that's cute, buttt i'm back bored now. facebook is boring, myspace is whack, i don't even logg on CS like that anymore. i got on there for the females and as of now i don't see no point in loggin on. nobody really on there, a few cute chicks but i'm good. i don't need no more friends, i'm tired of the ones i have already. well not friends, associates. only a few i can actually call "friends" and as fucked up it sounds i'm foreal. nobody real anymore, can't trust or even bother with some folks. it's no POINT! i got another bluetooth, i still hate it. uhhh, a new game coming out " wheel man " i def will get that. this bulls & detroit game is dull, how you at home and your own crowd ain't even cheerin. they make a shot, it's a lil cheer then that dies. niggah, boston be missing shots and gettin the ball stolen and our crowd still yelling and going fool. i say our, like bostons my team. MIGHT AS WELL BE. i got a call from sears today, after applyin... gotta reschedule the interview for another day. thursday won't be a good day, no interviews then and plus it's gonna be raining. i ain't gone run out in the rain to make a interview and risk gettin my suit wet up and shit. i really hate the rain, well not when im stayin in. if i gott go somewhere, then it shouldn't be raining and 9 times outtah 10, it isn't raining. but you know, fuck the odds. i'm about to listen to this song and watch this game. prolly even text every number in my phone just to see who all responds. i'm a go though... i might blog later tonight and have something better to blog about. if not, i'll blog tomorrow after i get outtah school... which reminds me i need to get to that homework. i'll do it later tonight... i'll be up all night. PEACE " i'm hope'n that aint nobody else as special as you
when i say i've been disapointed, i'm addressing a few. "
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WHERE DID IT GO WRONG ?" maybe you ain't the same broad i was even with. "
so, joe budden is the best medicine for these types of moods. i think i'll get the pen & write something also, hope'n i don't fall asleep before then though. i don't even write anymore, i need to start back writtin, might even download fruity loops and get back to tryna produce. that'll save the trouble of expectin and watchin beats from other people. i hate waitin, i'll get to do things on my own. but lets stray away from the music topic cause i hate talkin music when i have no way to record. my day was killer, up all night puttin my futon together. it took all done, do to my nephew, no help, aggarvation, allergies kickin in, having to clean up, sleepyness, confusion, and other shit that i might add in there later. i got it done though, i'm laying on it now. i'll unfold it into a chair in the PM's though, no point in having a futon if u only gone use it for one thing. but my moms bf got his truck so we used that to get it. i never drove a actual truck, besides my cousins truck. shit's too high and the peddle too light. i was going 65 and it felt like 50. i know i'd get a ticket riding in that shit. i might need to stick to cars. i talked to berta all night though, it's strange. i haven't had a good conversation like that in years. you know, they type where u just talk about the first thing that hits the mind. i'm glad she wasn't just gone sit there and wait for me to make conversation though. i hate that, knowing i have nothing to talk about... they put me in the spotlight like damn i KNOW you can talk to. i'm hot as fuck right now though. i need a smoke or something. i'm busy making gifs for a site that i never be on "joebuddentv.com" i hate joe budden, the dumbest songs, dumbest beats, dumb ass hooks and he still says something slick or nice. will smith is on though, i would text people but only person that actual texts me without me having to text them is ibi. so i don't really text anybody anymore, if i do then either i'm miserable, bored, or they we're on my mind. my eyes are gettin heavy and i'm gettin that burning feeling in them. " where did it go wrong - joe budden " best song ever, aside from the 3423232 joe budden songs. i think i'm a finish these gifs and turn over and pass out though. ya'll be good, and FUCK DRAKE. who listens to drake anymore ? the world has played drake too much, time to move on to another artist like 'LITTLE BROTHER'. allergies startin up, time to smoke a black and relax and hopfully go to sleep and prepare for another unknown journey. " a man makes his own destiny " " go to the top of the empire state & ron brows ya self "
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" & i aint tryna get to know nobody but her. "
it sucks, i'm already tired of this blogspot layout. i would go searchin for a new one, but guess what. i don't want to. it's 4:12 and i'm watchin untouchable or whatever the name of this movie is. it's good though. i remember seeing the cover of it and it or whatever on imdb. a simple movie site, mad you gotta pay for that site. who pays to review and see movie trailers online. should just be a free sign up thing like always. today was crazy though, uhh... too mcuh to type right now. i wanna watch this movie and study at the same time but the movie is gettin way too good for me to just sit here and try and study some god damn text. i gotta study a million chapters. wayyy too much. tianna's sleep, hopfully she's wakin up soon so i can call her and annoy her real quick before she go to school. umm, today started off cool. all black and my dreadhat... w/e it is. i know i only seen one person wearin it and went on the hunt for it. got it, went out. went to school. i think it's something about the hat. cause i swear, bitches been staring way too hard outtah no where. first the broad in the car, she was straight. kept lookin at me then finally smilin and waving. ain't bother to try and get her number. another one, chaquandra & another broad in my math class. nothing serious. just kept catchin em lookin. not chaquandra, she just keep that bullshit gigglin shit up. talkin shit like i won't abuse her lil brightskinned ass. school was decent. spent the rest of the day at my sisters causeee she wanted to use me. took her to walmart and stayed and been the babysitter. got mad and just left. went to ci ci's pizza, chilled with wan a few peoples, went to walmart and seen tarell or what not. that niggah still in highschool fightin niggahs though. i'm ashamed to be his friend, foreal. he need to get outtah that blood shit, go to college and shit. i got a mean headache, but besides that.... i got pulled over today. SOME TRUE BULLSHIT. just know i'm still shittin bout the reason i was pulled over.
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" if you believe, you'd do best w/o me - i'll let it go... " so my back hurts, and i'm annoyed for some strange reason. i'm just all fucked up, overwhelmed with thoughts and if i get em organized and settled then maybe i'll feel better and be able to lay here and enjoy the rest of my saturday night. i didn't get any sleep last night to say the least, mostly tossing and turning... then when i wasn't doing that, i keep wakin up, sleepin for like 4 seconds. it was annoying, only got like 3 or 4 hours of sleep. prolly even less than that ckuz i kept wakin up and would be up for a while... like 10 minutes or some type shit. but i got enough sleep imo. i'm watchin national security 2 even though i've seen it like three times and know it by heart... nothing new id just rather watch this than any other movie on TV. my side been hurtin last night, sharp pains and shit... it eventually went away. but that's still weird, came outtah no where.
today, was suppose to rain... guess that's for tomorrow. hopfully it does. todayy was cool though, woke up and went out at like 1 something. went to walmart, then alltel... alltel was full up so i went to the other alltel and got my storage card and get my bluetooth and charged that up. actually it's charing now i'll mess with it inna minute. they said let it charge for 3 hours straight, so i'm a let it charge up before i fuck with it. i went lookin for a dreadhat, with them jamacian colors. HA, got one. i thought it would've took a while for me to get it buttt instead. i asked the lady and she pointed to it and that was it. i spent alot today, i wonder what i got left... i need my charger or just another laptop. i think i'll get a smaller one next time. i ran out to get this big ass screen like it was special and it's highly annoying and heavy. really dumb move. it does have alot of GB's though. speakin of GB's, lemme get my storage card and throw some shit on it.
" & all i can do is smile, and fade into the back ground. "
i'm watchin' house of payne, good episode. about dude gettin a gun and malik gettin the gun and almost shootin hiself with it. got me thinkin bout my nephew. his dad loves to go run out and get guns. i swear, if anything happen to my lil niggah i'll kill him. swear on anything. but today was aight. slept alot, idk why but i am. mostly texted tianna and after she stopped textin me fell asleep... woke up to this on tv. i gotta take a shit though, i just wanna go smoke i don't really have to. i need to stop smokin, too much tabacoo in my lungs, i'm killin myself. i can't be doing that yenno ? i hate these commericals too, they make it even worse about it. the lil man in the will chair with the pump and etc beside him. talkin bout smokin, i ain't tryna be like that. i just wanna die from old age, and live my motherfuckin life ya digg ? but i can't stop buyin these shits. er time i get change/money.. a chance to buy me a black i run and get one. i can't resist, but i don't bother. i think i'm a stop smoking though. i had tacos today, them shits we're good. i don't wanna go get more, i'm a put it up in the fridge ckuz i got a sub. i'm tearin that up later, gotta find me a movie on tv and then i'll get to it. for now i'm a just watch these shows and text. today, no school... rained when i woke up. i didn't wake up til late though. my mom was just leavin and she kick my door in yellin. i hate being woke up like that, so if u ever have to wake me up. better shake me, or call my phone or something. dont yell, dont do nothing loud, dont pull no cover... nothing extreme ckuz i'll get mad. i'm grumpy when im just waking up. i noticed that. my sister used to try to pull the cover off me. id just lay there thinkin in my head when would i decide to actually get up and if i should knock her ass out. buttt, it needs to rain more. i love the rain.. puts me at ease. especially at night, when i'm layin here... and its late and im sleepy. but im a go. tired of bloggin.
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" i can't see no one else... but you "
just finished downloadin a shit load of music, after i write this i'm a crack into it and listen to it. i'm mad that bitch niggah trey ain't tell me this site had so many songs. i thought it just had videos and shit, maddd songs and artist i fuck with. i gotta go buy role models & nick & norahs infinite playlist. i gotta buy a anti virus or a spy doctor ckuz i'm tired of downloadin these shits and stealin. they don't work sometimes or they have virus on em. i'm sittin here watchin juno, shit is cute. lil kids in puppy love. i don't know what people like about this bullshit. my favorite actor is the dude from pineapple express. i forgot his name but he got a movie coming out and ALL of his movies are good. it's gonna rain friday, lewan pose to come out friday. we was gonna go out to florence or columbia... i know a broad out at USC, badd bitch. if we went out to columbia i prolly would've hit her up. plus my aunt want me to come get my nephew shit. the ride to columbia ain't that long. if it wasn't raining i would've def go out. bk came through, chilled... LOL @ him stealin some white boys ipod. yo, i laughed my ass off. this niggah came in here with a ipod that didn't work. said him and issacel went out to get one of the cars fixed and the white boy wouldn't help him. cel hit the white boy and this niggah broke in the dude car and took out the ipod out. LOL. yo, these niggahs aint change. we used to do that shit in highschool. steal outtah bookbags,lockers, etc. when fights broke out in the locker room... went back out to the gym and started searchin bookbags. that shit used to be fun, stealin batteries, cd players, cd's, etc. the fights, the beefs, the annoyin ass females. oh chaquandra got thickkk, she look like a lil nerd with them glasses but man oh man she got a ass now. i touched it, but played it off by grabbin her lil phone on her hip. broad better stop flirtin back with me if she ain't tryna get her insides beat up. and ohhh, victoria ain't come to class today. pure bullshit, she lied to me last night talkin bout she was coming. lucky we ain't have homework or no work to turn in. i would've ignoreddd that call and just went bout mine.
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" How Do You Sleep - Jesse McCartney & Ludacris "
lol @ i can fight though. that niggah dumb, always screamin bout fightin. i just wanted to post these videos. good day turned bad... but fuck it. i turned that around. OH, sucks for suns. don't look like they gone make it to the playoffs. not like they we're a factor to the celtics... just thought it would've been cool that shaq got a chance to get another ring. i know kobe was mad, shaq leaves his team... hit up miami and get a ring. kobe ain't get another ring yet... he's workin hard for one though, he just need a better team. lakers SUCK. odom is suspended for leaving the bench, im suprised it took so long for them to even notice that. i wrote like 100 blogs today, i need to stop bloggin foreal. this is not good, i done post a bunch of times today, most of em we're about different shit but still. i need to just leave the blogs alone. my nose is stopped up though. idk if a cold or its my allergies. i'm a go to sleep though, got CLASS tomorrow, our spring break aint until... next month. what kinda shit is that ? i ain't gotta go next tuesday though... that's like a mini break yenno ? let me get off here, and call & wake this girl up to see if she coming to class tomorrow. i don't wana go but then again i might have some work to turn in and i can't miss that. i need my credits so i can get the fuck up outtah there. and this weekend, maybe or monday i'm a hit up the unemployment place or just use the application Tia got me. she works on base at some lil children day care and there be alot of jobs there so she tryna hook me up. i need something to do during the summer time. most likely this summer i'm trying to go to FL. brother thinkin bout movin down there after he come back from over seas. if he does, i'll be in FL alotttt. i hate the heat but theres baddd bitches in flordia. rican broads, etc. went a while ago with cousins. it was nothing but broads, went on a inside rollercoaster and it was some broads in the line. it was me, dub, troy & jay r. all got a chick, lol @ somebody yellin louder than the broads. i loved that. i'll hawluh but let me go get my phone before it hit 3:00.
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" shit only hurts ckuz she was right about you." it's 9:48 " times goes by, puffin on la... hope'n that it gets me by, it got a niggah going crazyyy " ( this might be a long post ) honestly, my sister can be annoying sometimes. i like to talk to her, but she talks too much & calls at the wrong times. i'm in my bathroom, drying my hair and she calls to talk to me to death. and like a dummy i stay on the phone knowing i got shit to do. but sometimes we have cool talks, intrestin shit. like she complains about her babydaddy not being there and shit. but i'm glad my cousin talkin to her. what i think i'm a do before 12, is..clean my whole room. hang up all my clothes, and my new shit. empty all my drawes and sort things around so i can easily find them. clean out my closet, straighten up my bathroom. throw away the ashtray and my old lighters. i'm done smokin, even though it'll help mend my problems... i feel like it's time for a change. i'm actually being nice to some, and for those who been using me, lying to me... bout to get get the rude side of me. the cold shoulder. " i give you my all, but it seems like that's not enough. "why am i changin all of a sudden, idk. somebody just showed me that i needed to change. so i thank her. i mean, i tried to be real and text her not knowing what to say. and i get the same attitude as always... and then the lil slick shit. that shows you right there why i don't try and care about bitches. shows you why i'm done giving a fuck about females feelings. i texted her to let her know i missed her a lil & i got blew off. so, i'm following a different path. doing things differently. i know for a fact i won't make that mistake again. but in all honesty, i miss her but she don't gotta worry bout me ever saying anything else to her. that's a closed chapter in my life & i'm rippin that chapter out and burning it... to forget it forever, real shit. right now though, i'm sittin in a bunch of pennies from outtah my dresser. i decided to empty it and clean up and i'm gettin lazy so let me get my ass up and do that, but let em finsish this post. " become done giving a fuck & done callin... i got your email i was done way before then. "( cecily: Do you get your eyebrows Arched? ) LOL foreal, i don't. they just look like that. idk why, what sense would it make for me to go to get em arched and i don't even get my dreads retwisted. i had em in for almost a year without a retwist. i need one badly. jessica told me to get tee tee to do 'em over. but me and tee tee had a lil arguement, ckuz i tried to play her infront the class by calling her 'fast'. so i doubt that'll happen, for free anyway. but yeah, danielle... i don't what i hate about her so much. like, all my feelings for her and jeanri died. like they cool or whatever but i feel nothing for 'em, honestly. sorry had to be said, but i don't. neesha, no feelings for her, its like i'm just shallow. that might help me avoid being dissapointed anymore. but enough about me and bitches. after i clean up i'm a lift some weights, i benched only 10 and stopped this morning. that shows i'm lazy, and then play 2k9 and empty my mind. was in the shower earlier singing and shit, washin my hair... that's when the songs really hit you. when you in the shower, got the radio loud as fuck... but foreal. i'm a new man, new decisions, new attitude, new path, new attitude, everything new besides the friends. i still got the same ones. " & certain wounds only heal over time.. no shame in my game no pain no gain "
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EXXXES " she be calling my NAME ! "
it's 6:15, i already made a post... but i forgot to add some shit and i don't want no long ass posts. if u wanna read the last post, just go to the archives. all i was about was my day i think, what happen, me having a weird ass dream this morning about somebody when i thought i got rid of that thought. atleast i tried to, too much pride to even get into that subject though. and uhh about my conversation with james about the long distance shit, etc... but yeah, lewan bitch ass coming through friday. i think i'm a drive to columbia. everything is in columbia, if we go to clubs down here... most likely we'll fight. if it ain't a gang related fight, or just me seeing niggahs i don't like... or just other niggahs fightin for no reason... most likely it happens. Mi-am-i, like a hood spot... niggahs alway shootin out there. plus it's hot. how can it even be called a club... when they let EVERYBODY in. it be packed, bitches/niggahs back to back. crowded like hell. u can easily get shanked in that bitch. bitches be in there half naked though. only plus about miam, them hoodrats come out in some shortt ass shorts and tank tops. ass hangin out.
sabations, and gucci's is like a grwn spot. fights rarley happen, but i don't do the clubbin or drinkin shit anymore. i'm bout to quit smokin, get a job... cash up. finish school... move away to a better college and live my life. i gotta let me days count... instead of just countin 'em. ( that came from some speach a preacher made ) yeah i remember what my preacher preached. i'm a church go'er! nah, it was on the lil thing outside of the church when we passed, i just wanted to make it seem like i went to church. but my cousins are wild. how you 16 with a 28 year old living in the house with u, sleepin in YOUR bed and ur parents and grandma cool with it. like that ain't COOL and my 14 year old cousin daitn a 17 year old. i know they fuckin, her mom lets them stay at home by thereselfs... drop her off, etc... i have fool ass family. i don't even claim them motherfuckers. i did have sex when i was like 15/16, but i'm a dude. she seduced ME, got me in the car at the theater and fucked me. i did get on top though but that aint the point. LOL @ after we fucked her uncle coming out to the car like he was checkin the lights. idk if it smelled like sex, if the windows we're still fogged... i dont even remember. i know we we're shocked to see him actually come out there. i'm a go play 2k9, bk bet not show up. i might just say fuck it and go out to the club with them one night. niggah a blood, everybody he chills with is bloods, i tried to leave that alone but might no reason to leave it alone anymore.
oh yeah, and u bandwagon ass niggahs JUST NOW likin joe budden... get the fuck on somewhere. ya'll niggahs just becoming fans, like he just now soundin hot. niggah been doing this since pump it up. ya'll just followers. liyah put me on but god damn... that was a WHILE ago. i been rockin with joe since MM2, that's good enough. BYE now.
" said she'll never love me, ckuz ion love my ownself "
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" so kiss that niggah, hug that niggah... love that niggah to death go on & please that niggah, feed that niggah... in time you'll see te problems yourself " ay, i tried to watch a movie on HBO and i fell asleep. I had a great nap though, so thats all that matters. i'm watchin martian kid now, this movie is toooo weird. i hate it. but i love it. last night, or this morning. i didn't go to sleep til like 5 so it's this morning... i had a wild dream, idk where the dream came from. i didn't have her or anything on my mind and still i had that dream. i hate dreaming now. i hope i never dream, can't be seeing that face in my sleep. but yeahhh, i woke up after a phone call and went to school and actually enjoyed my self. we talked about like old shit... cassett players, tape players, typewritters. only reason it came up is because the topic about WHEN cd players we're made came up. and they're like 20 old heads in there... like over 40 years old. i couldn't do it. go to a community college at a old ass age. you wasted all that time, for what ? to work, hell u back to school for then ? but yeah, why everbody a budden fan. liyah put me on budden a while back, i can't lie... i never knew he was so good either. but niggahs was haitin... sayin how he cryin on his tracks and shit. now he's HOT, his shit is yall favorite song ? get on with that bullshit i'm carrying on, but today was cool. woke up and couldnt find no change for a black. then all of a sudden i found a handfull of change AFTER i came home from school. that's wild... but today i'ma just gonna avoid bk cause he already textin me crazy. i'm a play my xbox and let me day end. lol @ me almost fightin some broad. i think it was a broad. i can't explain the turn it was, i'll just say i was sittin there waiting for traffic to clear up, she turnning the opposite way so she mad ckuz her way is clear. he/she honks her horn. i'm talkin shit, i turn around to look at her/him to see them better. and she points to the road like " go " i smile, turn around and just sit there.... traffic clear... just to fuck with her. she backed up and turned around and whle she was turning around i decided to go. i prolly pissed her off. but that was fun, and it was early and i just had woke up. i'm my grumpiest at that time. don't fuck with me then.
james came to me about something the other day, and it really made sense though. ckuz i mean i went through the same thing, planning to see somebody then something always coming up. it happens to the best of us. i mean, i gave up though. when you wanna see somebody bad and they make it seems as if they wanna see you too... but every chance something else comes up, i mean prolly once or twice i understood why she couldn't come. but i just got tired of trying myself so i said fck it, and move on. tired of this internet shit, it got old to me when i was fuckin with danielle. i just thought id actually be able to see tee, welp that ain't happen. bee, i just wanted to see if i could bag that again. prolly could. not bionca, the other bee for those dummies. but yeah, like i don't see the point anymore. if you don't plan on coming to see me or don't care to meet me, then i don't see no point in us even flirtin/talkin/gettin together. but thats just me.
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I GOT GREAT PROBLEMS!
" when love is your problem... no man can solve it "
that song was in my head allll day, ALL week matter of a fact lol, today was a good day... could've been better, but i avoided even lookin at my phone. tired of pointless text messages and niggahs like BK and cedric always callin lookin for me to either burn them a cd or waste gas riding round sumter lookin for maryj. i don't see no point in it, i mean i can just make one call and get some... but thats me and i dont smoke no more so yeah. i gotta quit smokin blacks, couldn't laugh earlier. shit actually hurt when i laugh... bad bad sign. i'm DYING! & oh yeah, d'wayne wade is the best in the league btw. just had to say that. but yeah... FOR SOME REASON, this passed week i wasn't in a good mood or feelin good or happy whatever u wanna call it. today, i feel wayyy better. like idk why. hope it stays that way. it might. watch me write a bunch of shit when i know at 11:42 i gotta get dressed and get my moms. I HATE DOING THIS, i love driving on the empty road but i hate going to get moms. I GOTTA GO GET MY TACOS FROM SIS and drop her shit off. i hope her tacos good though. eat em in the parkin lot watiin on my moms. went to class, left out earlier ckuz i already knew the shit she was going over. 2nd class i basically had a midterm, prolly did good. i knew most of the shit, so if i didn't do good i'm pissin on the teacher ( not really, but yeah ). uhh, i couldnt go to sleep so i texted lena, and she was up. know i aint wake her up. she went to sleep so did i. i ain't talk to blackass today. i doubt i'll even talk to her agian, i might... but only if she speak to me. not to be mean, but i hate when it seems like i'm waste'n time. i hate waste'n time period, so don't do it. no patiences ( if that's the right one ) at all. if u gone beat around the bush, leave me alone. let me fuck and let's end it right there. oh yeah, ol girl in my CPT class actually looked better today. she's a dark broad. lil cute smile, and a lil round butt. pulled my hat out my back pocket when i was walkin out early. i'm leavin out early and her bitch ass gone snatch it. i'm tryna look cool with it hangin and shit and she had to make me look stoopid AND she got the teacher to turn around to see i was walkin out. " hey, where you goin erin ? " i had to make up some shit about my sister and her baby. " i know you already know this, but if u leave it's gone be a absent " i had to leave to take mom to work though, it was worth it.
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SHE ROCKIN THAT SHIT LIKE ....
" let me dive in ya heart & swim around in yo soul "
* added two more songs
TELL ME WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT MY LOVE ?
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" when love is your problem, nothing can solve it! " dream album been aight so far, j holiday shit stil hard though. it's 5:26... idk if that's the right time but i think im a need to go to sleep after watchin this movie " over her dead body " it won't be up to watch after 10:00 AM today. i didn't know that, glad i decided to watch it right now. i don't know what's wrong with file den either, i've been tryna get to the site for the pass 10 minutes now. after i been on the site just now... it wanna load slow and shit. prolly something i did, idk. it need to stop actin up while i know the song i wanna upload. shit always wanna act up when i need it to work. that's some pure bullshit. it has that lil circle and Connecting beside it with ....'s. i keep staring at it, thinkin it's gonne connect already but it says the same thing everytime i glance up from readin what i type. fuck it, i might just watch this movie and if it decides it wants to work later i'll use it. GOD. i hate this internet shit. why it wanna stop workin when i got shit to upload, now i gotta go round the Inet lookin for something to upload these songs onto and i gotta do registerin and mail checkin and THEN when i finally get it up and uploadin fileden will be done. SEE HOW DIFFICULT THIS THING IS ? ill just wait, if i fall asleep... ill upload tomorrow. i ain't got the time. lol @ the convo earlier, i swear... fakes aren't smart at all. i mean, i ran into alot that's a bad thing. running into alot of fakes, youd think i'd know who's fake and who's real by now. i still can't figure it out. weither it's fake, as in stealin pics or fake as in character. to tell the truth, i'm a just stay to myself and fuck with those i fucked with from get go. i talk shit bout people, but damn... i always talk shit. i don't say nothing personal, ya'll niggahs be whisperin PERSONAL, rude ass shit about each other. even about me, difference bout me is i don't care. i really don't. sorry. i was stuck with my nephew today though. until mom came home then dipped out. i was ashamed for the young girls in Walmart. they look bout 10-13, dressin like they grown. all of 'em bout 4'9, then another group of hos... like 4, look older. i come from outtah the papertowl/paperplate isle walkin to the babysection to grab zamari & jay some diapers. broads passed by, i hear mumblin, as they passed and some stand blocked most of there face and the last chick was walkin behind it, the blackest i assume... made it mad obvious by lookin directly at me. coming off the aisle " let's get you some napkins 'some random broad name' " i ain't hear the chick name. mad dude's walkin in groups, like i went to walmart just ckuz its down the streets. these niggahs hit up walmart like it's a 2nd mall and walk around the whole store... like 3 times just to be seen or to see everybody. i seen raheem with some dudes frm HS, niggah got a baby now... black ass HELL. but yeah, tomorrow... nephew goes home, and i get to rest the rest of the day and CHILL. i hate the internet. I GET fileden to work and that shit won't even play the songs. i guess i'll wait til i wake up or something. i'm tired of fuckin with this. i've been fuckin with it since 2 something last night. well that's when i thought about startin, i started a hour ago. i found out a way to get the feelin back in ur arm. if u layin on it or leaning on it and it starts to tingle. like if u was sleepin on it. i just flex my muscle, keep doing it until i get the feeling back. I know it's weird, but just lean on ur arm one day, or ur leg or sometihng and when it starts tingles... just flex your muscle and the feelin a be right back. OKAY i'm done with the dumb random shit. holler... lol @ it workin on firefox though. GOT IT, i gotta find out why it aint workin on IE.
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" after three years, girl let it go
accusin' me of shit you don't know "
well i don't really feel like bloggin today, home alone... i need to get some rest but i wanna play 2k9. might just go see what BK nem' doing... its a friday. i need to sleep though. when i wake up ill call around for now i'm a get my rest... ain't have but 3-4 hours or sleep, MAYBE MORE but still it felt like 3-4 hours, i need atleast 8 hrs. and i had to ride to columbia and back and sister was gone dump nephew on me... too much. let me enjoy my weekend break atleast. lol @ ol' girl that work at youngs askin me about my pajama's. i went and got some spongebobs and some moutain dew ones. yellow and green. i went to youngs two days in a row, yesterday with mountain dew, today rockin the spongebobs. " dang, you got collections of jama's & bed room shoes " i kinda dont, but i kinda do. got like 5 pair of them lil soft, comfortable bed room shoes that i mostly wear everywhere. why i blogged this song ? idk, i listened to it today in columbia... fell in love with it. mario gone say that ain't rihanna, sounds alot like rihanna. you gone be in the emergency rooooom, yeah right. but miss valentino been switchin back and forth. she'll fuck with me for a while, all in love then dissapear for a while. thats cool, brandee just disapears all together, tashur... shes cool, but idk bout herrrr. still waitin on mickey to respond to my message, i gotta message IBI on myspace. that's fucked up, yolee bitch ass quit fuckin with me like that and i turned around and started talkin her bestfriend more than i did with her. now THEY don't talk and her bestfriend calls me almost everynight, or atleast texts, message me. that's weird. fuck yolee confused ass, she can still get it though. nae, actin like she the shit like always... know she ain't a dime, BADDD bitches get a pass to act like that. jeanri.. lol she a cockblocker. swear i'm dissapointed in her, mad i participated in that shit. diamond i ain't mean to interfere into your personal life only because i don't care about anything in your life. just sayin, i still love you though. i need to start back being nice. matter of a fact, i will do that. " Tell whoever cares if a stray happens to hit me " too much budden, too many quotes. i need a new rapper besides him and drake. i swear i listen to them two too much to where i quote lines and sing there songs randomly... as well as ne-yo & j holiday AND dream. i need new artist. but i need to update my mp3's or just sell em and get a new one. i'm tired of mp3's when is something new gone come out ? like a pen or a bluetooth i can upload music too AND answer phones with. i mean, atleast like a hat/hoody with built in ear phones. SOMETHING NEW! it's 09, let's do something different. i'm a end this blog already. eye still twitchin like 2 days ago and my hair itchin crazy, i think i either need to wash it or just get it re done. i'm a wash it again though, just ckuz i like washin it... just not the layin my head on my pillow and wettin it up. i used up towels bringin it in the room with me for my hair, gotta make sure i dry it out and be sittin up afterwards to let it dry.
" we had no busniess havin' busniess " Chorus - mario & ( rihanna ) ( you gone be in the emergency room ) you standing by my bed & so-tempted to pull out my IV (you gone be in the Emergency Room i'm fightin' with myself , i can't hurt you even though you hurt me you gone be in the emergency room ) I'm tryin' to call nurse, but nobody can help me now ( let me see you try to live without me now where's your heartbeat? flat line on the E-K-G )
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" hold my heart, dont breakkk itt "
today, my eye couldnt stop blinkin just like yesterday. had a good day though, class was even good. washed up, playin joey and threw on the red monkeys... left and went to class. got a 90 on a quiz and fucked up a computer and fixed a computer. it was like a lab for the day i gusss. i hope i pass these classes, i been slippin on alot of work. matter of a fact, i'm a do my report and email it to her. i need that grade, i can't fuck up and get a failing grade for that. i could've been done it, but im too lazy man. gotta understand that. college is just updatin to me. i ain't gonna go this summer, prolly 2 classes ...all on the same day. so i can get em over with that one day. and only have to go 2 days. i hate going 4 days. not like i have alot of things to do but still, i hate wakin up that early and driving out 4 days every week. my fall semester might be my last semester if i can find a better college to transfer to. oh, i forgot to blog and say i finally got my joe budden padded room in the mail. they sent it to my sister ckuz she had moved and they resent it cause of that. i'm mad they ain't just sent it to my name. dumb fucks. i'm watchin the game though, it's coming on. i missed celctics and nets, i wish i could've caught that on tv. i'm a need NBATV. i think i'll get it when/if i get these jobs. TIA tryna help me get jobs on BASE, so i can get on shaw airforce base anytime i want. thatll be the shit, just ckuz it's alot of stuff over there. i been all aorund with my brother on DE base, they got storessss. cheap food, cheap shit. i wonder what they'll let me do on base. i know theyll restrict areas from me but so what. i dont care really. sister is annoying now with the new baby, like damn. what she moved for ? to make it harder for us, now instead of just sendin him down the hall. WE gotta drive all across town to get him and bring him back after a while. like thats annoying. she need to either straighten her niggah out ckuz im tired of the babysittin everday other day. like we just watched him wed. or tuesday, and then when she was in the hospital. i'm done doing deeds, shell be aight. i like this Jesse McCarntney song i posted though, lil white dude can sing. i heard his " beautiful " song and liked it, but he's pullin in sales with the luda feature and the song. let me upload some songs and i MIGHT change my blog layout. gotta watch hornets beat some ass ( hopefully ) i'm on CP3 side tonight i'm gone now. yall be good, lol @ aaliyah gettin a blog.
how whack is she ? fuckin spic
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CHANGE OF PLANS
im with the nephew right now, i'll blog later.
i might end up doing inna minute, if nephew fall asleep anytime soon lol @ nae erasin her shit cuz of some dude 'stalkin' her. you a fuckin fool
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" pray for me " *EDIT - i wrote these two songs, congratulations & a better me... ain't write em to no beat, but i just wrote em sittin in CLASS, and one in the hospital on my phone. deep deep songs. some might not get congratulations,unless u knew my past though. better me is something i started on a few days ago and finished today. " love dont love me, well that's lovely " from better me. i think i'm a logg on and post the lyrics or just part of the lyrics. damn, i'm a fan of my own self. i be writin some deep shit. especially my ending of songs. " days of misery, don't worry you not the blame"
so saturday was cool, SUNDAY AM i went to the hospital... well 12 o clock aint the am. i stayed there, me and my nephew and my moms and my sister. NOBODY ELSE. waiting for my nephew. remember that, nobody but us 4, couldve been just her but it was us there waiting. and he finally came 12:09... sasha's birthday ( anybody that knows snoop ). but her brithday was the 2nd. what's with the fuckin vaseline on his eyes though, i forgot what my mom told me... but that's a pic of him like 30 - 40 minutes after he came. my nephew just went to sleep and i was there watchin tv and shit. but he was born 03 - 02 - 09, niggah . that's my lil niggah though, regardless. his lil chubby cheeks and shit. i sitll love my first nephew jay though, but zamari's the newborn. the next baby to take care of. it's gone be mad hard though. having to watch him and take care of the lil baby. i'm watchin harry potter though, this shit is good... i'm about to put the laptop down and watch this shit. peace though birth of my 2nd nephew, time to slow it down.   i'm out though.
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" stuck in hell waitin on blessings, with no patiences" i'll think about bloggin later, depression is real. i'm slowly recoverin', keep your distance. * sis should be droppin 2nd nephew sun/mon.
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" so yeah, she lost one... "
get it together or forget it forever.
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" we all need one, we all need somebody to hold us down "
i would call it a night, but i'm wide away with alot of energy so i won't even bother going to bed. i'm sittin in bed though, watchin wild wild west, waiting on something to come on the tv. i doubt anything good will come on though, i'm a just have to hit up on demand and search like lastnight. i watched made of honor, shit was actually good. i don't think i'd run in during a wedding to tell a broad i loved her and blah blah. for one, i ain't tryna get played. she still marry the niggah after i do all that shit. no purpose. uhh, tomorrow suppose to be stormy. i was going to go to florence w/ wan to some Alpha Pi Alpha probate. i just wanted to go to see a certain somebody, but i doubt i'll ride out there alone. no reason. travis tryna go to the club down the street, tryna get me to go out there. i gotta get a new cell phone, take my nephew back to my sisters, and some more shit. it's too much happening tomorrow. my back hurts right now though. i think i need to stop bloggin and lay down. i wanna play 2k9 but all of a sudden i got lazy and don't even feel like scoring a million points with my created player. it's fun to shut down kobe & lebron though, i be in here talkin shit every shot i put up in there faces. every cross over or dunk. " she sees something in me, that i don't. " but fuck that. i got a question, what man wouldn't have questions, if a girl u usde to date and still talk to has a dude, that she done things with, got picture of them all on each other kissin, and then have her admitt he has a part of her heart but " no feelings ". even though that don't makes any sense, what man wouldn't have questions ? i'm just curious, am i suppoe to be cool with that ? my bad, i ain't that type to let everything be ignored. not even the smallest shit. cause i don't like being in the dark about shit, nor being played. i'm carryin on... but it's like this, if theres nothin between her and dude then why is he still in the picture. if there wasn't no feelings , regardless to how the relationship even occured... why are you still mentioning him ? why is he on ya mind, touchin on you. nothing more to say about it though. " i preach gratitude, she keeps an attitude. argue long enough & that shit becomes laughable. " don't lead me on, bullshit me or try to play me. i ain't bout to sit round and wait for you to "pick me". its now or never, i can't be chasing you round forever,when i don't even chase broads. but yeah, i need to stay off facebook & myspace. as much as i say that, i know i wont. facebook atleast, i don't be on myspace like that anymore. i erased my whole friend list and just logg on every other day. not even then, i logg on when i have a reason to, and latley it's only been one reason i logg on and THAT reason has just sent me a message and it's 1:00 AM. wow. it's strange that i was just typing about myspace and my yahoo mesage " Myspace - BLAH BLAH BLAH " popped up in the corner. and it's crazy, i get this weird feeling everytime. i've only felt this way once, and that was a while ago. nervous, lightheaded, curious, stomach hurtin, but at the same time sittin here with a lil smile on my face let me end this though. " sometimes love.... comes around. & it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down " i smoked all my black a few minutes ago soooo, no more smoking for a while now. and no homo! but i actually like keri hilson or whatever her name is. she gets a thumb up for this song with these dudes. i might be stuck listening to this all night. " She's My, Bow wow Ft. T pain
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" tell me that you need me, then you go & cut me down... "
hello world, i'm feelin better than usual. - but uhh travis from NTL ( make note, i don't know what the fuck that stands for) can actually sing, i thought he rapped or some shit, so i overlooked his songs. i guess i'll start actually listening to every artist instead of assuming. i like his cover of the song though, it's decent. right now i'm hot & shit. i guess it's cause i keep jumpin up and shit. i need to stay still. pepper ( cousin gf ) well idk, she called me today after textin me. lol, i won't speak on that situation though. it's funny though, believe me. so the question that most readers ask, before they even read a lick of someones blog is " what's going with so&so " " what problems will i read about " " who he/she datin, having issues with " "what's going on with this persons life " well, nothing's going on. just tryna get a job, get my summer classes. PASS my classes right now. problems ? girl problems like always, not really girl problems though. it's just a bunch of confusion and i think i'll sooner or later make my mind up. i don't like being a "option" or having competition. if that's the case, i'll leave the picture and make it more easier. i mean, that's just me. if it got to the point where i'm one of the many options or whatever. like... okay "he's a, he's b, and he's c" point blank, if it comes to that... just leave it alone. " fucked around & turned me down " as bad as i don't wanna just let it just go like that and force myself to move along... i'd rather do that then to be "chosen" outtah many others. i don't date, i'm not datin anyone... no issues that i haven't spoke on. my life ? basically it's like a up and down motion. at one point, i'm feelin great, lookin at things in a positive way, see things going my way... next minute i'm dissapointed, my positive look turns negative quick and i'm back to square one. like i'm takin 1 step foward then 4 steps backwards. i move ahead, but get pushed back so much it's like i've barley even went anywhere. maybe i just get too excited too early, i should just let things play out. no matter what though, i'm a look foward. i'm just gone play my role. i'm not steppin in the way of nobodies happiness, not force'n anything. i'm just gone sit back and go along with the flow. accept all dissapointments & failures. now let's get off my life and my situation. i havent blogged inna minute. this has made me felt way better. all thoughts cleared ( not all ). today/tonight, i texted or tried to. my phone actin up i think i'm a need a new one soon. and watched movies & the game mostly. went to school but that was a waste. went through a quiz and some class work. i need to find something to do with this blog shit. i mean, this shit is aight but i know i'll get annoyed or tired of it in a few days. i give it a week or less. if not, i'll just let someone else find me a skin. i hate lookin on them damn sites for skins. but i think i'll end this. ya'll have a great & safe weekend. " Taio Cruz, Give My Love Away "
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go to archives to read the blogs, changes are on the way.
hawluh.
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ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
"& treatin me like the rest is a vital mistake "
i been listening to this song for the past two days, i'm gettin tired of it though. today, has been crazy. from annoying nephews, to being annoyed by everything and everyone. last night, i got caught up in a lil mess. i left it alone though, she just made it seem like a big deal when it wasn't. but it's nothing, i'm a just drop it and leave it alone, wan was kind've the blame i got in the mess. NAH i won't blame him, he told me not to do it and i did anyway ( even if he was jokin ) i should've listened. so myspace is a no limit zone for me, but i don't listen so i'll be back on there before the day ends. oh! i logged on a few seconds ago but that was just to see who was online & what not. nobody, just seen tianna and some dude in a pic kissing or... whatever it was. that's cute, buttt i'm back bored now. facebook is boring, myspace is whack, i don't even logg on CS like that anymore. i got on there for the females and as of now i don't see no point in loggin on. nobody really on there, a few cute chicks but i'm good. i don't need no more friends, i'm tired of the ones i have already. well not friends, associates. only a few i can actually call "friends" and as fucked up it sounds i'm foreal. nobody real anymore, can't trust or even bother with some folks. it's no POINT! i got another bluetooth, i still hate it. uhhh, a new game coming out " wheel man " i def will get that. this bulls & detroit game is dull, how you at home and your own crowd ain't even cheerin. they make a shot, it's a lil cheer then that dies. niggah, boston be missing shots and gettin the ball stolen and our crowd still yelling and going fool. i say our, like bostons my team. MIGHT AS WELL BE. i got a call from sears today, after applyin... gotta reschedule the interview for another day. thursday won't be a good day, no interviews then and plus it's gonna be raining. i ain't gone run out in the rain to make a interview and risk gettin my suit wet up and shit. i really hate the rain, well not when im stayin in. if i gott go somewhere, then it shouldn't be raining and 9 times outtah 10, it isn't raining. but you know, fuck the odds. i'm about to listen to this song and watch this game. prolly even text every number in my phone just to see who all responds. i'm a go though... i might blog later tonight and have something better to blog about. if not, i'll blog tomorrow after i get outtah school... which reminds me i need to get to that homework. i'll do it later tonight... i'll be up all night. PEACE " i'm hope'n that aint nobody else as special as you
when i say i've been disapointed, i'm addressing a few. "
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WHERE DID IT GO WRONG ?" maybe you ain't the same broad i was even with. "
so, joe budden is the best medicine for these types of moods. i think i'll get the pen & write something also, hope'n i don't fall asleep before then though. i don't even write anymore, i need to start back writtin, might even download fruity loops and get back to tryna produce. that'll save the trouble of expectin and watchin beats from other people. i hate waitin, i'll get to do things on my own. but lets stray away from the music topic cause i hate talkin music when i have no way to record. my day was killer, up all night puttin my futon together. it took all done, do to my nephew, no help, aggarvation, allergies kickin in, having to clean up, sleepyness, confusion, and other shit that i might add in there later. i got it done though, i'm laying on it now. i'll unfold it into a chair in the PM's though, no point in having a futon if u only gone use it for one thing. but my moms bf got his truck so we used that to get it. i never drove a actual truck, besides my cousins truck. shit's too high and the peddle too light. i was going 65 and it felt like 50. i know i'd get a ticket riding in that shit. i might need to stick to cars. i talked to berta all night though, it's strange. i haven't had a good conversation like that in years. you know, they type where u just talk about the first thing that hits the mind. i'm glad she wasn't just gone sit there and wait for me to make conversation though. i hate that, knowing i have nothing to talk about... they put me in the spotlight like damn i KNOW you can talk to. i'm hot as fuck right now though. i need a smoke or something. i'm busy making gifs for a site that i never be on "joebuddentv.com" i hate joe budden, the dumbest songs, dumbest beats, dumb ass hooks and he still says something slick or nice. will smith is on though, i would text people but only person that actual texts me without me having to text them is ibi. so i don't really text anybody anymore, if i do then either i'm miserable, bored, or they we're on my mind. my eyes are gettin heavy and i'm gettin that burning feeling in them. " where did it go wrong - joe budden " best song ever, aside from the 3423232 joe budden songs. i think i'm a finish these gifs and turn over and pass out though. ya'll be good, and FUCK DRAKE. who listens to drake anymore ? the world has played drake too much, time to move on to another artist like 'LITTLE BROTHER'. allergies startin up, time to smoke a black and relax and hopfully go to sleep and prepare for another unknown journey. " a man makes his own destiny " " go to the top of the empire state & ron brows ya self "
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" & i aint tryna get to know nobody but her. "
it sucks, i'm already tired of this blogspot layout. i would go searchin for a new one, but guess what. i don't want to. it's 4:12 and i'm watchin untouchable or whatever the name of this movie is. it's good though. i remember seeing the cover of it and it or whatever on imdb. a simple movie site, mad you gotta pay for that site. who pays to review and see movie trailers online. should just be a free sign up thing like always. today was crazy though, uhh... too mcuh to type right now. i wanna watch this movie and study at the same time but the movie is gettin way too good for me to just sit here and try and study some god damn text. i gotta study a million chapters. wayyy too much. tianna's sleep, hopfully she's wakin up soon so i can call her and annoy her real quick before she go to school. umm, today started off cool. all black and my dreadhat... w/e it is. i know i only seen one person wearin it and went on the hunt for it. got it, went out. went to school. i think it's something about the hat. cause i swear, bitches been staring way too hard outtah no where. first the broad in the car, she was straight. kept lookin at me then finally smilin and waving. ain't bother to try and get her number. another one, chaquandra & another broad in my math class. nothing serious. just kept catchin em lookin. not chaquandra, she just keep that bullshit gigglin shit up. talkin shit like i won't abuse her lil brightskinned ass. school was decent. spent the rest of the day at my sisters causeee she wanted to use me. took her to walmart and stayed and been the babysitter. got mad and just left. went to ci ci's pizza, chilled with wan a few peoples, went to walmart and seen tarell or what not. that niggah still in highschool fightin niggahs though. i'm ashamed to be his friend, foreal. he need to get outtah that blood shit, go to college and shit. i got a mean headache, but besides that.... i got pulled over today. SOME TRUE BULLSHIT. just know i'm still shittin bout the reason i was pulled over.
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" if you believe, you'd do best w/o me - i'll let it go... " so my back hurts, and i'm annoyed for some strange reason. i'm just all fucked up, overwhelmed with thoughts and if i get em organized and settled then maybe i'll feel better and be able to lay here and enjoy the rest of my saturday night. i didn't get any sleep last night to say the least, mostly tossing and turning... then when i wasn't doing that, i keep wakin up, sleepin for like 4 seconds. it was annoying, only got like 3 or 4 hours of sleep. prolly even less than that ckuz i kept wakin up and would be up for a while... like 10 minutes or some type shit. but i got enough sleep imo. i'm watchin national security 2 even though i've seen it like three times and know it by heart... nothing new id just rather watch this than any other movie on TV. my side been hurtin last night, sharp pains and shit... it eventually went away. but that's still weird, came outtah no where.
today, was suppose to rain... guess that's for tomorrow. hopfully it does. todayy was cool though, woke up and went out at like 1 something. went to walmart, then alltel... alltel was full up so i went to the other alltel and got my storage card and get my bluetooth and charged that up. actually it's charing now i'll mess with it inna minute. they said let it charge for 3 hours straight, so i'm a let it charge up before i fuck with it. i went lookin for a dreadhat, with them jamacian colors. HA, got one. i thought it would've took a while for me to get it buttt instead. i asked the lady and she pointed to it and that was it. i spent alot today, i wonder what i got left... i need my charger or just another laptop. i think i'll get a smaller one next time. i ran out to get this big ass screen like it was special and it's highly annoying and heavy. really dumb move. it does have alot of GB's though. speakin of GB's, lemme get my storage card and throw some shit on it.
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" & all i can do is smile, and fade into the back ground. "
i'm watchin' house of payne, good episode. about dude gettin a gun and malik gettin the gun and almost shootin hiself with it. got me thinkin bout my nephew. his dad loves to go run out and get guns. i swear, if anything happen to my lil niggah i'll kill him. swear on anything. but today was aight. slept alot, idk why but i am. mostly texted tianna and after she stopped textin me fell asleep... woke up to this on tv. i gotta take a shit though, i just wanna go smoke i don't really have to. i need to stop smokin, too much tabacoo in my lungs, i'm killin myself. i can't be doing that yenno ? i hate these commericals too, they make it even worse about it. the lil man in the will chair with the pump and etc beside him. talkin bout smokin, i ain't tryna be like that. i just wanna die from old age, and live my motherfuckin life ya digg ? but i can't stop buyin these shits. er time i get change/money.. a chance to buy me a black i run and get one. i can't resist, but i don't bother. i think i'm a stop smoking though. i had tacos today, them shits we're good. i don't wanna go get more, i'm a put it up in the fridge ckuz i got a sub. i'm tearin that up later, gotta find me a movie on tv and then i'll get to it. for now i'm a just watch these shows and text. today, no school... rained when i woke up. i didn't wake up til late though. my mom was just leavin and she kick my door in yellin. i hate being woke up like that, so if u ever have to wake me up. better shake me, or call my phone or something. dont yell, dont do nothing loud, dont pull no cover... nothing extreme ckuz i'll get mad. i'm grumpy when im just waking up. i noticed that. my sister used to try to pull the cover off me. id just lay there thinkin in my head when would i decide to actually get up and if i should knock her ass out. buttt, it needs to rain more. i love the rain.. puts me at ease. especially at night, when i'm layin here... and its late and im sleepy. but im a go. tired of bloggin.
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" i can't see no one else... but you "
just finished downloadin a shit load of music, after i write this i'm a crack into it and listen to it. i'm mad that bitch niggah trey ain't tell me this site had so many songs. i thought it just had videos and shit, maddd songs and artist i fuck with. i gotta go buy role models & nick & norahs infinite playlist. i gotta buy a anti virus or a spy doctor ckuz i'm tired of downloadin these shits and stealin. they don't work sometimes or they have virus on em. i'm sittin here watchin juno, shit is cute. lil kids in puppy love. i don't know what people like about this bullshit. my favorite actor is the dude from pineapple express. i forgot his name but he got a movie coming out and ALL of his movies are good. it's gonna rain friday, lewan pose to come out friday. we was gonna go out to florence or columbia... i know a broad out at USC, badd bitch. if we went out to columbia i prolly would've hit her up. plus my aunt want me to come get my nephew shit. the ride to columbia ain't that long. if it wasn't raining i would've def go out. bk came through, chilled... LOL @ him stealin some white boys ipod. yo, i laughed my ass off. this niggah came in here with a ipod that didn't work. said him and issacel went out to get one of the cars fixed and the white boy wouldn't help him. cel hit the white boy and this niggah broke in the dude car and took out the ipod out. LOL. yo, these niggahs aint change. we used to do that shit in highschool. steal outtah bookbags,lockers, etc. when fights broke out in the locker room... went back out to the gym and started searchin bookbags. that shit used to be fun, stealin batteries, cd players, cd's, etc. the fights, the beefs, the annoyin ass females. oh chaquandra got thickkk, she look like a lil nerd with them glasses but man oh man she got a ass now. i touched it, but played it off by grabbin her lil phone on her hip. broad better stop flirtin back with me if she ain't tryna get her insides beat up. and ohhh, victoria ain't come to class today. pure bullshit, she lied to me last night talkin bout she was coming. lucky we ain't have homework or no work to turn in. i would've ignoreddd that call and just went bout mine.
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" How Do You Sleep - Jesse McCartney & Ludacris "
lol @ i can fight though. that niggah dumb, always screamin bout fightin. i just wanted to post these videos. good day turned bad... but fuck it. i turned that around. OH, sucks for suns. don't look like they gone make it to the playoffs. not like they we're a factor to the celtics... just thought it would've been cool that shaq got a chance to get another ring. i know kobe was mad, shaq leaves his team... hit up miami and get a ring. kobe ain't get another ring yet... he's workin hard for one though, he just need a better team. lakers SUCK. odom is suspended for leaving the bench, im suprised it took so long for them to even notice that. i wrote like 100 blogs today, i need to stop bloggin foreal. this is not good, i done post a bunch of times today, most of em we're about different shit but still. i need to just leave the blogs alone. my nose is stopped up though. idk if a cold or its my allergies. i'm a go to sleep though, got CLASS tomorrow, our spring break aint until... next month. what kinda shit is that ? i ain't gotta go next tuesday though... that's like a mini break yenno ? let me get off here, and call & wake this girl up to see if she coming to class tomorrow. i don't wana go but then again i might have some work to turn in and i can't miss that. i need my credits so i can get the fuck up outtah there. and this weekend, maybe or monday i'm a hit up the unemployment place or just use the application Tia got me. she works on base at some lil children day care and there be alot of jobs there so she tryna hook me up. i need something to do during the summer time. most likely this summer i'm trying to go to FL. brother thinkin bout movin down there after he come back from over seas. if he does, i'll be in FL alotttt. i hate the heat but theres baddd bitches in flordia. rican broads, etc. went a while ago with cousins. it was nothing but broads, went on a inside rollercoaster and it was some broads in the line. it was me, dub, troy & jay r. all got a chick, lol @ somebody yellin louder than the broads. i loved that. i'll hawluh but let me go get my phone before it hit 3:00.
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" shit only hurts ckuz she was right about you." it's 9:48 " times goes by, puffin on la... hope'n that it gets me by, it got a niggah going crazyyy " ( this might be a long post ) honestly, my sister can be annoying sometimes. i like to talk to her, but she talks too much & calls at the wrong times. i'm in my bathroom, drying my hair and she calls to talk to me to death. and like a dummy i stay on the phone knowing i got shit to do. but sometimes we have cool talks, intrestin shit. like she complains about her babydaddy not being there and shit. but i'm glad my cousin talkin to her. what i think i'm a do before 12, is..clean my whole room. hang up all my clothes, and my new shit. empty all my drawes and sort things around so i can easily find them. clean out my closet, straighten up my bathroom. throw away the ashtray and my old lighters. i'm done smokin, even though it'll help mend my problems... i feel like it's time for a change. i'm actually being nice to some, and for those who been using me, lying to me... bout to get get the rude side of me. the cold shoulder. " i give you my all, but it seems like that's not enough. "why am i changin all of a sudden, idk. somebody just showed me that i needed to change. so i thank her. i mean, i tried to be real and text her not knowing what to say. and i get the same attitude as always... and then the lil slick shit. that shows you right there why i don't try and care about bitches. shows you why i'm done giving a fuck about females feelings. i texted her to let her know i missed her a lil & i got blew off. so, i'm following a different path. doing things differently. i know for a fact i won't make that mistake again. but in all honesty, i miss her but she don't gotta worry bout me ever saying anything else to her. that's a closed chapter in my life & i'm rippin that chapter out and burning it... to forget it forever, real shit. right now though, i'm sittin in a bunch of pennies from outtah my dresser. i decided to empty it and clean up and i'm gettin lazy so let me get my ass up and do that, but let em finsish this post. " become done giving a fuck & done callin... i got your email i was done way before then. "( cecily: Do you get your eyebrows Arched? ) LOL foreal, i don't. they just look like that. idk why, what sense would it make for me to go to get em arched and i don't even get my dreads retwisted. i had em in for almost a year without a retwist. i need one badly. jessica told me to get tee tee to do 'em over. but me and tee tee had a lil arguement, ckuz i tried to play her infront the class by calling her 'fast'. so i doubt that'll happen, for free anyway. but yeah, danielle... i don't what i hate about her so much. like, all my feelings for her and jeanri died. like they cool or whatever but i feel nothing for 'em, honestly. sorry had to be said, but i don't. neesha, no feelings for her, its like i'm just shallow. that might help me avoid being dissapointed anymore. but enough about me and bitches. after i clean up i'm a lift some weights, i benched only 10 and stopped this morning. that shows i'm lazy, and then play 2k9 and empty my mind. was in the shower earlier singing and shit, washin my hair... that's when the songs really hit you. when you in the shower, got the radio loud as fuck... but foreal. i'm a new man, new decisions, new attitude, new path, new attitude, everything new besides the friends. i still got the same ones. " & certain wounds only heal over time.. no shame in my game no pain no gain "
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EXXXES " she be calling my NAME ! "
it's 6:15, i already made a post... but i forgot to add some shit and i don't want no long ass posts. if u wanna read the last post, just go to the archives. all i was about was my day i think, what happen, me having a weird ass dream this morning about somebody when i thought i got rid of that thought. atleast i tried to, too much pride to even get into that subject though. and uhh about my conversation with james about the long distance shit, etc... but yeah, lewan bitch ass coming through friday. i think i'm a drive to columbia. everything is in columbia, if we go to clubs down here... most likely we'll fight. if it ain't a gang related fight, or just me seeing niggahs i don't like... or just other niggahs fightin for no reason... most likely it happens. Mi-am-i, like a hood spot... niggahs alway shootin out there. plus it's hot. how can it even be called a club... when they let EVERYBODY in. it be packed, bitches/niggahs back to back. crowded like hell. u can easily get shanked in that bitch. bitches be in there half naked though. only plus about miam, them hoodrats come out in some shortt ass shorts and tank tops. ass hangin out.
sabations, and gucci's is like a grwn spot. fights rarley happen, but i don't do the clubbin or drinkin shit anymore. i'm bout to quit smokin, get a job... cash up. finish school... move away to a better college and live my life. i gotta let me days count... instead of just countin 'em. ( that came from some speach a preacher made ) yeah i remember what my preacher preached. i'm a church go'er! nah, it was on the lil thing outside of the church when we passed, i just wanted to make it seem like i went to church. but my cousins are wild. how you 16 with a 28 year old living in the house with u, sleepin in YOUR bed and ur parents and grandma cool with it. like that ain't COOL and my 14 year old cousin daitn a 17 year old. i know they fuckin, her mom lets them stay at home by thereselfs... drop her off, etc... i have fool ass family. i don't even claim them motherfuckers. i did have sex when i was like 15/16, but i'm a dude. she seduced ME, got me in the car at the theater and fucked me. i did get on top though but that aint the point. LOL @ after we fucked her uncle coming out to the car like he was checkin the lights. idk if it smelled like sex, if the windows we're still fogged... i dont even remember. i know we we're shocked to see him actually come out there. i'm a go play 2k9, bk bet not show up. i might just say fuck it and go out to the club with them one night. niggah a blood, everybody he chills with is bloods, i tried to leave that alone but might no reason to leave it alone anymore.
oh yeah, and u bandwagon ass niggahs JUST NOW likin joe budden... get the fuck on somewhere. ya'll niggahs just becoming fans, like he just now soundin hot. niggah been doing this since pump it up. ya'll just followers. liyah put me on but god damn... that was a WHILE ago. i been rockin with joe since MM2, that's good enough. BYE now.
" said she'll never love me, ckuz ion love my ownself "
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" so kiss that niggah, hug that niggah... love that niggah to death go on & please that niggah, feed that niggah... in time you'll see te problems yourself " ay, i tried to watch a movie on HBO and i fell asleep. I had a great nap though, so thats all that matters. i'm watchin martian kid now, this movie is toooo weird. i hate it. but i love it. last night, or this morning. i didn't go to sleep til like 5 so it's this morning... i had a wild dream, idk where the dream came from. i didn't have her or anything on my mind and still i had that dream. i hate dreaming now. i hope i never dream, can't be seeing that face in my sleep. but yeahhh, i woke up after a phone call and went to school and actually enjoyed my self. we talked about like old shit... cassett players, tape players, typewritters. only reason it came up is because the topic about WHEN cd players we're made came up. and they're like 20 old heads in there... like over 40 years old. i couldn't do it. go to a community college at a old ass age. you wasted all that time, for what ? to work, hell u back to school for then ? but yeah, why everbody a budden fan. liyah put me on budden a while back, i can't lie... i never knew he was so good either. but niggahs was haitin... sayin how he cryin on his tracks and shit. now he's HOT, his shit is yall favorite song ? get on with that bullshit i'm carrying on, but today was cool. woke up and couldnt find no change for a black. then all of a sudden i found a handfull of change AFTER i came home from school. that's wild... but today i'ma just gonna avoid bk cause he already textin me crazy. i'm a play my xbox and let me day end. lol @ me almost fightin some broad. i think it was a broad. i can't explain the turn it was, i'll just say i was sittin there waiting for traffic to clear up, she turnning the opposite way so she mad ckuz her way is clear. he/she honks her horn. i'm talkin shit, i turn around to look at her/him to see them better. and she points to the road like " go " i smile, turn around and just sit there.... traffic clear... just to fuck with her. she backed up and turned around and whle she was turning around i decided to go. i prolly pissed her off. but that was fun, and it was early and i just had woke up. i'm my grumpiest at that time. don't fuck with me then.
james came to me about something the other day, and it really made sense though. ckuz i mean i went through the same thing, planning to see somebody then something always coming up. it happens to the best of us. i mean, i gave up though. when you wanna see somebody bad and they make it seems as if they wanna see you too... but every chance something else comes up, i mean prolly once or twice i understood why she couldn't come. but i just got tired of trying myself so i said fck it, and move on. tired of this internet shit, it got old to me when i was fuckin with danielle. i just thought id actually be able to see tee, welp that ain't happen. bee, i just wanted to see if i could bag that again. prolly could. not bionca, the other bee for those dummies. but yeah, like i don't see the point anymore. if you don't plan on coming to see me or don't care to meet me, then i don't see no point in us even flirtin/talkin/gettin together. but thats just me.
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I GOT GREAT PROBLEMS!
" when love is your problem... no man can solve it "
that song was in my head allll day, ALL week matter of a fact lol, today was a good day... could've been better, but i avoided even lookin at my phone. tired of pointless text messages and niggahs like BK and cedric always callin lookin for me to either burn them a cd or waste gas riding round sumter lookin for maryj. i don't see no point in it, i mean i can just make one call and get some... but thats me and i dont smoke no more so yeah. i gotta quit smokin blacks, couldn't laugh earlier. shit actually hurt when i laugh... bad bad sign. i'm DYING! & oh yeah, d'wayne wade is the best in the league btw. just had to say that. but yeah... FOR SOME REASON, this passed week i wasn't in a good mood or feelin good or happy whatever u wanna call it. today, i feel wayyy better. like idk why. hope it stays that way. it might. watch me write a bunch of shit when i know at 11:42 i gotta get dressed and get my moms. I HATE DOING THIS, i love driving on the empty road but i hate going to get moms. I GOTTA GO GET MY TACOS FROM SIS and drop her shit off. i hope her tacos good though. eat em in the parkin lot watiin on my moms. went to class, left out earlier ckuz i already knew the shit she was going over. 2nd class i basically had a midterm, prolly did good. i knew most of the shit, so if i didn't do good i'm pissin on the teacher ( not really, but yeah ). uhh, i couldnt go to sleep so i texted lena, and she was up. know i aint wake her up. she went to sleep so did i. i ain't talk to blackass today. i doubt i'll even talk to her agian, i might... but only if she speak to me. not to be mean, but i hate when it seems like i'm waste'n time. i hate waste'n time period, so don't do it. no patiences ( if that's the right one ) at all. if u gone beat around the bush, leave me alone. let me fuck and let's end it right there. oh yeah, ol girl in my CPT class actually looked better today. she's a dark broad. lil cute smile, and a lil round butt. pulled my hat out my back pocket when i was walkin out early. i'm leavin out early and her bitch ass gone snatch it. i'm tryna look cool with it hangin and shit and she had to make me look stoopid AND she got the teacher to turn around to see i was walkin out. " hey, where you goin erin ? " i had to make up some shit about my sister and her baby. " i know you already know this, but if u leave it's gone be a absent " i had to leave to take mom to work though, it was worth it.
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SHE ROCKIN THAT SHIT LIKE ....
" let me dive in ya heart & swim around in yo soul "
* added two more songs
TELL ME WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT MY LOVE ?
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" when love is your problem, nothing can solve it! " dream album been aight so far, j holiday shit stil hard though. it's 5:26... idk if that's the right time but i think im a need to go to sleep after watchin this movie " over her dead body " it won't be up to watch after 10:00 AM today. i didn't know that, glad i decided to watch it right now. i don't know what's wrong with file den either, i've been tryna get to the site for the pass 10 minutes now. after i been on the site just now... it wanna load slow and shit. prolly something i did, idk. it need to stop actin up while i know the song i wanna upload. shit always wanna act up when i need it to work. that's some pure bullshit. it has that lil circle and Connecting beside it with ....'s. i keep staring at it, thinkin it's gonne connect already but it says the same thing everytime i glance up from readin what i type. fuck it, i might just watch this movie and if it decides it wants to work later i'll use it. GOD. i hate this internet shit. why it wanna stop workin when i got shit to upload, now i gotta go round the Inet lookin for something to upload these songs onto and i gotta do registerin and mail checkin and THEN when i finally get it up and uploadin fileden will be done. SEE HOW DIFFICULT THIS THING IS ? ill just wait, if i fall asleep... ill upload tomorrow. i ain't got the time. lol @ the convo earlier, i swear... fakes aren't smart at all. i mean, i ran into alot that's a bad thing. running into alot of fakes, youd think i'd know who's fake and who's real by now. i still can't figure it out. weither it's fake, as in stealin pics or fake as in character. to tell the truth, i'm a just stay to myself and fuck with those i fucked with from get go. i talk shit bout people, but damn... i always talk shit. i don't say nothing personal, ya'll niggahs be whisperin PERSONAL, rude ass shit about each other. even about me, difference bout me is i don't care. i really don't. sorry. i was stuck with my nephew today though. until mom came home then dipped out. i was ashamed for the young girls in Walmart. they look bout 10-13, dressin like they grown. all of 'em bout 4'9, then another group of hos... like 4, look older. i come from outtah the papertowl/paperplate isle walkin to the babysection to grab zamari & jay some diapers. broads passed by, i hear mumblin, as they passed and some stand blocked most of there face and the last chick was walkin behind it, the blackest i assume... made it mad obvious by lookin directly at me. coming off the aisle " let's get you some napkins 'some random broad name' " i ain't hear the chick name. mad dude's walkin in groups, like i went to walmart just ckuz its down the streets. these niggahs hit up walmart like it's a 2nd mall and walk around the whole store... like 3 times just to be seen or to see everybody. i seen raheem with some dudes frm HS, niggah got a baby now... black ass HELL. but yeah, tomorrow... nephew goes home, and i get to rest the rest of the day and CHILL. i hate the internet. I GET fileden to work and that shit won't even play the songs. i guess i'll wait til i wake up or something. i'm tired of fuckin with this. i've been fuckin with it since 2 something last night. well that's when i thought about startin, i started a hour ago. i found out a way to get the feelin back in ur arm. if u layin on it or leaning on it and it starts to tingle. like if u was sleepin on it. i just flex my muscle, keep doing it until i get the feeling back. I know it's weird, but just lean on ur arm one day, or ur leg or sometihng and when it starts tingles... just flex your muscle and the feelin a be right back. OKAY i'm done with the dumb random shit. holler... lol @ it workin on firefox though. GOT IT, i gotta find out why it aint workin on IE.
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" after three years, girl let it go
accusin' me of shit you don't know "
well i don't really feel like bloggin today, home alone... i need to get some rest but i wanna play 2k9. might just go see what BK nem' doing... its a friday. i need to sleep though. when i wake up ill call around for now i'm a get my rest... ain't have but 3-4 hours or sleep, MAYBE MORE but still it felt like 3-4 hours, i need atleast 8 hrs. and i had to ride to columbia and back and sister was gone dump nephew on me... too much. let me enjoy my weekend break atleast. lol @ ol' girl that work at youngs askin me about my pajama's. i went and got some spongebobs and some moutain dew ones. yellow and green. i went to youngs two days in a row, yesterday with mountain dew, today rockin the spongebobs. " dang, you got collections of jama's & bed room shoes " i kinda dont, but i kinda do. got like 5 pair of them lil soft, comfortable bed room shoes that i mostly wear everywhere. why i blogged this song ? idk, i listened to it today in columbia... fell in love with it. mario gone say that ain't rihanna, sounds alot like rihanna. you gone be in the emergency rooooom, yeah right. but miss valentino been switchin back and forth. she'll fuck with me for a while, all in love then dissapear for a while. thats cool, brandee just disapears all together, tashur... shes cool, but idk bout herrrr. still waitin on mickey to respond to my message, i gotta message IBI on myspace. that's fucked up, yolee bitch ass quit fuckin with me like that and i turned around and started talkin her bestfriend more than i did with her. now THEY don't talk and her bestfriend calls me almost everynight, or atleast texts, message me. that's weird. fuck yolee confused ass, she can still get it though. nae, actin like she the shit like always... know she ain't a dime, BADDD bitches get a pass to act like that. jeanri.. lol she a cockblocker. swear i'm dissapointed in her, mad i participated in that shit. diamond i ain't mean to interfere into your personal life only because i don't care about anything in your life. just sayin, i still love you though. i need to start back being nice. matter of a fact, i will do that. " Tell whoever cares if a stray happens to hit me " too much budden, too many quotes. i need a new rapper besides him and drake. i swear i listen to them two too much to where i quote lines and sing there songs randomly... as well as ne-yo & j holiday AND dream. i need new artist. but i need to update my mp3's or just sell em and get a new one. i'm tired of mp3's when is something new gone come out ? like a pen or a bluetooth i can upload music too AND answer phones with. i mean, atleast like a hat/hoody with built in ear phones. SOMETHING NEW! it's 09, let's do something different. i'm a end this blog already. eye still twitchin like 2 days ago and my hair itchin crazy, i think i either need to wash it or just get it re done. i'm a wash it again though, just ckuz i like washin it... just not the layin my head on my pillow and wettin it up. i used up towels bringin it in the room with me for my hair, gotta make sure i dry it out and be sittin up afterwards to let it dry.
" we had no busniess havin' busniess " Chorus - mario & ( rihanna ) ( you gone be in the emergency room ) you standing by my bed & so-tempted to pull out my IV (you gone be in the Emergency Room i'm fightin' with myself , i can't hurt you even though you hurt me you gone be in the emergency room ) I'm tryin' to call nurse, but nobody can help me now ( let me see you try to live without me now where's your heartbeat? flat line on the E-K-G )
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" hold my heart, dont breakkk itt "
today, my eye couldnt stop blinkin just like yesterday. had a good day though, class was even good. washed up, playin joey and threw on the red monkeys... left and went to class. got a 90 on a quiz and fucked up a computer and fixed a computer. it was like a lab for the day i gusss. i hope i pass these classes, i been slippin on alot of work. matter of a fact, i'm a do my report and email it to her. i need that grade, i can't fuck up and get a failing grade for that. i could've been done it, but im too lazy man. gotta understand that. college is just updatin to me. i ain't gonna go this summer, prolly 2 classes ...all on the same day. so i can get em over with that one day. and only have to go 2 days. i hate going 4 days. not like i have alot of things to do but still, i hate wakin up that early and driving out 4 days every week. my fall semester might be my last semester if i can find a better college to transfer to. oh, i forgot to blog and say i finally got my joe budden padded room in the mail. they sent it to my sister ckuz she had moved and they resent it cause of that. i'm mad they ain't just sent it to my name. dumb fucks. i'm watchin the game though, it's coming on. i missed celctics and nets, i wish i could've caught that on tv. i'm a need NBATV. i think i'll get it when/if i get these jobs. TIA tryna help me get jobs on BASE, so i can get on shaw airforce base anytime i want. thatll be the shit, just ckuz it's alot of stuff over there. i been all aorund with my brother on DE base, they got storessss. cheap food, cheap shit. i wonder what they'll let me do on base. i know theyll restrict areas from me but so what. i dont care really. sister is annoying now with the new baby, like damn. what she moved for ? to make it harder for us, now instead of just sendin him down the hall. WE gotta drive all across town to get him and bring him back after a while. like thats annoying. she need to either straighten her niggah out ckuz im tired of the babysittin everday other day. like we just watched him wed. or tuesday, and then when she was in the hospital. i'm done doing deeds, shell be aight. i like this Jesse McCarntney song i posted though, lil white dude can sing. i heard his " beautiful " song and liked it, but he's pullin in sales with the luda feature and the song. let me upload some songs and i MIGHT change my blog layout. gotta watch hornets beat some ass ( hopefully ) i'm on CP3 side tonight i'm gone now. yall be good, lol @ aaliyah gettin a blog.
how whack is she ? fuckin spic
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CHANGE OF PLANS
im with the nephew right now, i'll blog later.
i might end up doing inna minute, if nephew fall asleep anytime soon lol @ nae erasin her shit cuz of some dude 'stalkin' her. you a fuckin fool
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" pray for me " *EDIT - i wrote these two songs, congratulations & a better me... ain't write em to no beat, but i just wrote em sittin in CLASS, and one in the hospital on my phone. deep deep songs. some might not get congratulations,unless u knew my past though. better me is something i started on a few days ago and finished today. " love dont love me, well that's lovely " from better me. i think i'm a logg on and post the lyrics or just part of the lyrics. damn, i'm a fan of my own self. i be writin some deep shit. especially my ending of songs. " days of misery, don't worry you not the blame"
so saturday was cool, SUNDAY AM i went to the hospital... well 12 o clock aint the am. i stayed there, me and my nephew and my moms and my sister. NOBODY ELSE. waiting for my nephew. remember that, nobody but us 4, couldve been just her but it was us there waiting. and he finally came 12:09... sasha's birthday ( anybody that knows snoop ). but her brithday was the 2nd. what's with the fuckin vaseline on his eyes though, i forgot what my mom told me... but that's a pic of him like 30 - 40 minutes after he came. my nephew just went to sleep and i was there watchin tv and shit. but he was born 03 - 02 - 09, niggah . that's my lil niggah though, regardless. his lil chubby cheeks and shit. i sitll love my first nephew jay though, but zamari's the newborn. the next baby to take care of. it's gone be mad hard though. having to watch him and take care of the lil baby. i'm watchin harry potter though, this shit is good... i'm about to put the laptop down and watch this shit. peace though birth of my 2nd nephew, time to slow it down. i'm out though.
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" stuck in hell waitin on blessings, with no patiences" i'll think about bloggin later, depression is real. i'm slowly recoverin', keep your distance. * sis should be droppin 2nd nephew sun/mon.
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By post:
what's a blogspot ? tumblr FTW?http://drugmoney.tu...
" would you die for me ? "so today started too qui...
" & i'm a die alone, so alone i stand "i don't lik...
" don't worry, about a thing... "- three little b...
" so yeah, she lost one... "get it together or for...
" we all need one, we all need somebody to hold u...
" tell me that you need me, then you go & cut me d...
go to archives to read the blogs, changes are on t...
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT"& treatin me like the rest i...
WHERE DID IT GO WRONG ?" maybe you ain't the same ...
By month:
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
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liyah | trey | jay | Twitter | facebook
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Do i really have to write this ? If you don't know me, oh well. Go fuck yourself.
The old me is dead & gone...
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I would put a tagboard here, but guess what... i won't.
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