braveheart.

2009-04-11T18:24:00.001-04:00

what's a blogspot ? tumblr FTW?
http://drugmoney.tumblr.com

2009-04-03T19:09:00.003-04:00

" would you die for me ? "

so today started too quick, i ain't get no sleep cause i brung my sister and her kids here. that niggah cried for like a hour, AT 5 in the AM. i didn't get any sleep cause of him moving and kickin me then he wanna jump up and cry. i already gave him milk and shit but still he cryin like somebody killin him. sister came in and started beatin him, niggah wouldn't shut up for shit. i gave him the milk and went right back to sleep. wake up a few hours later cause of something. idk if it was my sister. got up and he wide awake, at like 10 AM. i got my rest just now though. nap was great. i need to take another one after cavs & magics play. it felt great outside today, just real windy making it cold and shit. plus i had on shorts & a wife beater so thats prolly why i was so cold when i went out there. i'm glad they left though, first junior was gettin on my nerves then the baby was gettin on my nerves with the always whine'n, never stayin sleep, crying just for someone to pick him up. not wantin the bottle, then crying and wantin the bottle. i don't even want kids no more. i don't wanna deal with em after these two. there HELL. i gotta download this song that i heard on the radio. thats the only reason i got on, to look for it and i end up bloggin just cause i wanna tell SOMEBODY but lewan about what happen. tianna gone laugh about it, like them niggahs fool enough to shoot up the house just cause they was mad. shittin me, niggahs was drunk AND mad. and when that happen, these fools act up. but before they ain't had guns so all they used to do is argue and shit. now these niggahs pointin guns at each other and shit. if that ain't the dumbest shit ever.... i swear these niggahs dont deserve them shits. gone end up killin each other.

last night, was some shit. alottt happened and so quick. everything was cool when i was done with class. i got outtah class and it was cool. went to my sister house, smoked a black with her and the rest of them. sat there for a few hours. sister cooked, these niggahs in here chillin... watchin tv ( mike epps dvd ) buggin out, and everytihng was cool. dude & his brother started gettin drunk and that was the end of that shit. i left after slop, pat and them was playing dominoes and shit. nothing was going on. i get BACK it was like 9:30 something, i sat down for 5 seconds and they pull up. all i hear is yelling and shit, i know something going on. i go to open the back door but pat open it first. swear, niggah had a chopper and dude had a lil black pistol, pointin em at each other. like in the house, darin each other to pull the trigger. while the kids was walkin around and shit. BROTHERS ready to shoot each other down. they eventually went outside with that argue'n and they just argued for a minute. all you hear is " PULL IT" and a lil POP! i thought that lil shit would've made more noise then THAT though. but i hear that, my sister and nephews hop on the floor. i'm still into the tv, watchin cavs get dragged FINALLY my sister tellin me to get on the floor and get her baby to lay down. i scooted on the floor, then thought about it. that niggah had a chopper. if he spray that shit, somebody gone get hit. ain't no way. niggah left, sister bf came in the house hid the gun. police circled around the house for like 20 minutes, they must've been right down the street. they got there fasttt. but yeah. i get here and my sister tell me everything and shit and what happened at the club and blah blah. it's crazy

2009-04-02T11:54:00.002-04:00

" & i'm a die alone, so alone i stand "

i don't like the rain, well i do but not when i have to drive or just go out in it period. it fucks my day up. i just wanna be lazy when it rains, and i think after this blog and a lil web surfin that's what i'm a do. i need to get alot of things fixed, from my phone to my wireless internet on this laptop to my bluetooth. i'm just horrible with technology right now, i'll be back on my shit though. i just refuse to get a lime/green phonee. as much i need a phone i won't DARE touch that shit. that's nlike forebidden. MAN LAW, no lime phones. any bright/gay colors. but yeahhh. my back is hurtin and my allergies are actin up like hell. let me go turn my phone off and back on so i can text atleast one person. that's how fucked up my phone is. i gotta take the battery out or turn it off and back on just so i can text somebody... then it fucks up and i have to do it again.

i hate technology, maybe it's a april fools joke. this april fools wasn't all that. i guess nobody had anything planned. i know i didn't. lemme go though. i hate typing. goodbyeee

2009-04-01T19:46:00.002-04:00

" don't worry, about a thing... "
- three little birds, bob marley

2009-03-28T23:55:00.002-04:00

" so yeah, she lost one... "

get it together or forget it forever.

2009-03-27T23:44:00.002-04:00

" we all need one, we all need somebody to hold us down "

i would call it a night, but i'm wide away with alot of energy so i won't even bother going to bed. i'm sittin in bed though, watchin wild wild west, waiting on something to come on the tv. i doubt anything good will come on though, i'm a just have to hit up on demand and search like lastnight. i watched made of honor, shit was actually good. i don't think i'd run in during a wedding to tell a broad i loved her and blah blah. for one, i ain't tryna get played. she still marry the niggah after i do all that shit. no purpose. uhh, tomorrow suppose to be stormy. i was going to go to florence w/ wan to some Alpha Pi Alpha probate. i just wanted to go to see a certain somebody, but i doubt i'll ride out there alone. no reason. travis tryna go to the club down the street, tryna get me to go out there. i gotta get a new cell phone, take my nephew back to my sisters, and some more shit. it's too much happening tomorrow. my back hurts right now though. i think i need to stop bloggin and lay down.

i wanna play 2k9 but all of a sudden i got lazy and don't even feel like scoring a million points with my created player. it's fun to shut down kobe & lebron though, i be in here talkin shit every shot i put up in there faces. every cross over or dunk. " she sees something in me, that i don't. " but fuck that. i got a question, what man wouldn't have questions, if a girl u usde to date and still talk to has a dude, that she done things with, got picture of them all on each other kissin, and then have her admitt he has a part of her heart but " no feelings ". even though that don't makes any sense, what man wouldn't have questions ? i'm just curious, am i suppoe to be cool with that ? my bad, i ain't that type to let everything be ignored. not even the smallest shit. cause i don't like being in the dark about shit, nor being played. i'm carryin on... but it's like this, if theres nothin between her and dude then why is he still in the picture. if there wasn't no feelings , regardless to how the relationship even occured... why are you still mentioning him ? why is he on ya mind, touchin on you. nothing more to say about it though. " i preach gratitude, she keeps an attitude. argue long enough & that shit becomes laughable. " don't lead me on, bullshit me or try to play me. i ain't bout to sit round and wait for you to "pick me". its now or never, i can't be chasing you round forever,when i don't even chase broads.

but yeah, i need to stay off facebook & myspace. as much as i say that, i know i wont. facebook atleast, i don't be on myspace like that anymore. i erased my whole friend list and just logg on every other day. not even then, i logg on when i have a reason to, and latley it's only been one reason i logg on and THAT reason has just sent me a message and it's 1:00 AM. wow. it's strange that i was just typing about myspace and my yahoo mesage " Myspace - BLAH BLAH BLAH " popped up in the corner. and it's crazy, i get this weird feeling everytime. i've only felt this way once, and that was a while ago. nervous, lightheaded, curious, stomach hurtin, but at the same time sittin here with a lil smile on my face let me end this though. " sometimes love.... comes around. & it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down " i smoked all my black a few minutes ago soooo, no more smoking for a while now. and no homo! but i actually like keri hilson or whatever her name is. she gets a thumb up for this song with these dudes. i might be stuck listening to this all night. "

She's My, Bow wow Ft. T pain

2009-03-26T21:11:00.004-04:00

" tell me that you need me, then you go & cut me down... "

hello world, i'm feelin better than usual. - but uhh travis from NTL ( make note, i don't know what the fuck that stands for) can actually sing, i thought he rapped or some shit, so i overlooked his songs. i guess i'll start actually listening to every artist instead of assuming. i like his cover of the song though, it's decent. right now i'm hot & shit. i guess it's cause i keep jumpin up and shit. i need to stay still. pepper ( cousin gf ) well idk, she called me today after textin me. lol, i won't speak on that situation though. it's funny though, believe me. so the question that most readers ask, before they even read a lick of someones blog is " what's going with so&so " " what problems will i read about " " who he/she datin, having issues with " "what's going on with this persons life " well, nothing's going on. just tryna get a job, get my summer classes. PASS my classes right now. problems ? girl problems like always, not really girl problems though. it's just a bunch of confusion and i think i'll sooner or later make my mind up. i don't like being a "option" or having competition. if that's the case, i'll leave the picture and make it more easier. i mean, that's just me. if it got to the point where i'm one of the many options or whatever. like... okay "he's a, he's b, and he's c" point blank, if it comes to that... just leave it alone. " fucked around & turned me down " as bad as i don't wanna just let it just go like that and force myself to move along... i'd rather do that then to be "chosen" outtah many others. i don't date, i'm not datin anyone... no issues that i haven't spoke on.

my life ? basically it's like a up and down motion. at one point, i'm feelin great, lookin at things in a positive way, see things going my way... next minute i'm dissapointed, my positive look turns negative quick and i'm back to square one. like i'm takin 1 step foward then 4 steps backwards. i move ahead, but get pushed back so much it's like i've barley even went anywhere. maybe i just get too excited too early, i should just let things play out. no matter what though, i'm a look foward. i'm just gone play my role. i'm not steppin in the way of nobodies happiness, not force'n anything. i'm just gone sit back and go along with the flow. accept all dissapointments & failures. now let's get off my life and my situation. i havent blogged inna minute. this has made me felt way better. all thoughts cleared ( not all ). today/tonight, i texted or tried to. my phone actin up i think i'm a need a new one soon. and watched movies & the game mostly. went to school but that was a waste. went through a quiz and some class work. i need to find something to do with this blog shit. i mean, this shit is aight but i know i'll get annoyed or tired of it in a few days. i give it a week or less. if not, i'll just let someone else find me a skin. i hate lookin on them damn sites for skins. but i think i'll end this. ya'll have a great & safe weekend.

" Taio Cruz, Give My Love Away "

2009-03-24T22:22:00.002-04:00

go to archives to read the blogs, changes are on the way.

hawluh.

2009-03-24T21:01:00.003-04:00

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
"& treatin me like the rest is a vital mistake "

i been listening to this song for the past two days, i'm gettin tired of it though. today, has been crazy. from annoying nephews, to being annoyed by everything and everyone. last night, i got caught up in a lil mess. i left it alone though, she just made it seem like a big deal when it wasn't. but it's nothing, i'm a just drop it and leave it alone, wan was kind've the blame i got in the mess. NAH i won't blame him, he told me not to do it and i did anyway ( even if he was jokin ) i should've listened. so myspace is a no limit zone for me, but i don't listen so i'll be back on there before the day ends. oh! i logged on a few seconds ago but that was just to see who was online & what not. nobody, just seen tianna and some dude in a pic kissing or... whatever it was. that's cute, buttt i'm back bored now. facebook is boring, myspace is whack, i don't even logg on CS like that anymore. i got on there for the females and as of now i don't see no point in loggin on. nobody really on there, a few cute chicks but i'm good. i don't need no more friends, i'm tired of the ones i have already. well not friends, associates. only a few i can actually call "friends" and as fucked up it sounds i'm foreal. nobody real anymore, can't trust or even bother with some folks. it's no POINT!

i got another bluetooth, i still hate it. uhhh, a new game coming out " wheel man " i def will get that. this bulls & detroit game is dull, how you at home and your own crowd ain't even cheerin. they make a shot, it's a lil cheer then that dies. niggah, boston be missing shots and gettin the ball stolen and our crowd still yelling and going fool. i say our, like bostons my team. MIGHT AS WELL BE. i got a call from sears today, after applyin... gotta reschedule the interview for another day. thursday won't be a good day, no interviews then and plus it's gonna be raining. i ain't gone run out in the rain to make a interview and risk gettin my suit wet up and shit. i really hate the rain, well not when im stayin in. if i gott go somewhere, then it shouldn't be raining and 9 times outtah 10, it isn't raining. but you know, fuck the odds. i'm about to listen to this song and watch this game. prolly even text every number in my phone just to see who all responds. i'm a go though... i might blog later tonight and have something better to blog about. if not, i'll blog tomorrow after i get outtah school... which reminds me i need to get to that homework. i'll do it later tonight... i'll be up all night. PEACE

" i'm hope'n that aint nobody else as special as you
when i say i've been disapointed, i'm addressing a few. "

2009-03-23T03:06:00.002-04:00

WHERE DID IT GO WRONG ?

" maybe you ain't the same broad i was even with. "

so, joe budden is the best medicine for these types of moods. i think i'll get the pen & write something also, hope'n i don't fall asleep before then though. i don't even write anymore, i need to start back writtin, might even download fruity loops and get back to tryna produce. that'll save the trouble of expectin and watchin beats from other people. i hate waitin, i'll get to do things on my own. but lets stray away from the music topic cause i hate talkin music when i have no way to record. my day was killer, up all night puttin my futon together. it took all done, do to my nephew, no help, aggarvation, allergies kickin in, having to clean up, sleepyness, confusion, and other shit that i might add in there later. i got it done though, i'm laying on it now. i'll unfold it into a chair in the PM's though, no point in having a futon if u only gone use it for one thing. but my moms bf got his truck so we used that to get it. i never drove a actual truck, besides my cousins truck. shit's too high and the peddle too light. i was going 65 and it felt like 50. i know i'd get a ticket riding in that shit. i might need to stick to cars.

i talked to berta all night though, it's strange. i haven't had a good conversation like that in years. you know, they type where u just talk about the first thing that hits the mind. i'm glad she wasn't just gone sit there and wait for me to make conversation though. i hate that, knowing i have nothing to talk about... they put me in the spotlight like damn i KNOW you can talk to. i'm hot as fuck right now though. i need a smoke or something. i'm busy making gifs for a site that i never be on "joebuddentv.com" i hate joe budden, the dumbest songs, dumbest beats, dumb ass hooks and he still says something slick or nice. will smith is on though, i would text people but only person that actual texts me without me having to text them is ibi. so i don't really text anybody anymore, if i do then either i'm miserable, bored, or they we're on my mind. my eyes are gettin heavy and i'm gettin that burning feeling in them.

" where did it go wrong - joe budden " best song ever, aside from the 3423232 joe budden songs. i think i'm a finish these gifs and turn over and pass out though. ya'll be good, and FUCK DRAKE. who listens to drake anymore ? the world has played drake too much, time to move on to another artist like 'LITTLE BROTHER'. allergies startin up, time to smoke a black and relax and hopfully go to sleep and prepare for another unknown journey. " a man makes his own destiny "

" go to the top of the empire state & ron brows ya self "

2009-03-19T04:12:00.005-04:00

" & i aint tryna get to know nobody but her. "

it sucks, i'm already tired of this blogspot layout. i would go searchin for a new one, but guess what. i don't want to. it's 4:12 and i'm watchin untouchable or whatever the name of this movie is. it's good though. i remember seeing the cover of it and it or whatever on imdb. a simple movie site, mad you gotta pay for that site. who pays to review and see movie trailers online. should just be a free sign up thing like always. today was crazy though, uhh... too mcuh to type right now. i wanna watch this movie and study at the same time but the movie is gettin way too good for me to just sit here and try and study some god damn text. i gotta study a million chapters. wayyy too much. tianna's sleep, hopfully she's wakin up soon so i can call her and annoy her real quick before she go to school.

umm, today started off cool. all black and my dreadhat... w/e it is. i know i only seen one person wearin it and went on the hunt for it. got it, went out. went to school. i think it's something about the hat. cause i swear, bitches been staring way too hard outtah no where. first the broad in the car, she was straight. kept lookin at me then finally smilin and waving. ain't bother to try and get her number. another one, chaquandra & another broad in my math class. nothing serious. just kept catchin em lookin. not chaquandra, she just keep that bullshit gigglin shit up. talkin shit like i won't abuse her lil brightskinned ass. school was decent. spent the rest of the day at my sisters causeee she wanted to use me. took her to walmart and stayed and been the babysitter. got mad and just left.

went to ci ci's pizza, chilled with wan a few peoples, went to walmart and seen tarell or what not. that niggah still in highschool fightin niggahs though. i'm ashamed to be his friend, foreal. he need to get outtah that blood shit, go to college and shit. i got a mean headache, but besides that.... i got pulled over today. SOME TRUE BULLSHIT. just know i'm still shittin bout the reason i was pulled over.

I COULDN'T HELP IT

GUESS WHO ?

2009-03-16T17:41:00.003-04:00

2009-03-14T21:10:00.005-04:00

" if you believe, you'd do best w/o me - i'll let it go... "

so my back hurts, and i'm annoyed for some strange reason. i'm just all fucked up, overwhelmed with thoughts and if i get em organized and settled then maybe i'll feel better and be able to lay here and enjoy the rest of my saturday night. i didn't get any sleep last night to say the least, mostly tossing and turning... then when i wasn't doing that, i keep wakin up, sleepin for like 4 seconds. it was annoying, only got like 3 or 4 hours of sleep. prolly even less than that ckuz i kept wakin up and would be up for a while... like 10 minutes or some type shit. but i got enough sleep imo. i'm watchin national security 2 even though i've seen it like three times and know it by heart... nothing new id just rather watch this than any other movie on TV. my side been hurtin last night, sharp pains and shit... it eventually went away. but that's still weird, came outtah no where.

today, was suppose to rain... guess that's for tomorrow. hopfully it does. todayy was cool though, woke up and went out at like 1 something. went to walmart, then alltel... alltel was full up so i went to the other alltel and got my storage card and get my bluetooth and charged that up. actually it's charing now i'll mess with it inna minute. they said let it charge for 3 hours straight, so i'm a let it charge up before i fuck with it. i went lookin for a dreadhat, with them jamacian colors. HA, got one. i thought it would've took a while for me to get it buttt instead. i asked the lady and she pointed to it and that was it. i spent alot today, i wonder what i got left... i need my charger or just another laptop. i think i'll get a smaller one next time. i ran out to get this big ass screen like it was special and it's highly annoying and heavy. really dumb move. it does have alot of GB's though. speakin of GB's, lemme get my storage card and throw some shit on it.

IN MY SLEEP

ONE

i need one.

2009-03-13T20:05:00.004-04:00

" & all i can do is smile, and fade into the back ground. "

i'm watchin' house of payne, good episode. about dude gettin a gun and malik gettin the gun and almost shootin hiself with it. got me thinkin bout my nephew. his dad loves to go run out and get guns. i swear, if anything happen to my lil niggah i'll kill him. swear on anything. but today was aight. slept alot, idk why but i am. mostly texted tianna and after she stopped textin me fell asleep... woke up to this on tv. i gotta take a shit though, i just wanna go smoke i don't really have to. i need to stop smokin, too much tabacoo in my lungs, i'm killin myself. i can't be doing that yenno ? i hate these commericals too, they make it even worse about it. the lil man in the will chair with the pump and etc beside him. talkin bout smokin, i ain't tryna be like that. i just wanna die from old age, and live my motherfuckin life ya digg ? but i can't stop buyin these shits. er time i get change/money.. a chance to buy me a black i run and get one. i can't resist, but i don't bother. i think i'm a stop smoking though.

i had tacos today, them shits we're good. i don't wanna go get more, i'm a put it up in the fridge ckuz i got a sub. i'm tearin that up later, gotta find me a movie on tv and then i'll get to it. for now i'm a just watch these shows and text. today, no school... rained when i woke up. i didn't wake up til late though. my mom was just leavin and she kick my door in yellin. i hate being woke up like that, so if u ever have to wake me up. better shake me, or call my phone or something. dont yell, dont do nothing loud, dont pull no cover... nothing extreme ckuz i'll get mad. i'm grumpy when im just waking up. i noticed that. my sister used to try to pull the cover off me. id just lay there thinkin in my head when would i decide to actually get up and if i should knock her ass out. buttt, it needs to rain more. i love the rain.. puts me at ease. especially at night, when i'm layin here... and its late and im sleepy. but im a go. tired of bloggin.

WALKIN ON THE MOON

"tell em save the hate, we'll be home soon."

2009-03-12T00:47:00.002-04:00

" i can't see no one else... but you "

just finished downloadin a shit load of music, after i write this i'm a crack into it and listen to it. i'm mad that bitch niggah trey ain't tell me this site had so many songs. i thought it just had videos and shit, maddd songs and artist i fuck with. i gotta go buy role models & nick & norahs infinite playlist. i gotta buy a anti virus or a spy doctor ckuz i'm tired of downloadin these shits and stealin. they don't work sometimes or they have virus on em. i'm sittin here watchin juno, shit is cute. lil kids in puppy love. i don't know what people like about this bullshit. my favorite actor is the dude from pineapple express. i forgot his name but he got a movie coming out and ALL of his movies are good.

it's gonna rain friday, lewan pose to come out friday. we was gonna go out to florence or columbia... i know a broad out at USC, badd bitch. if we went out to columbia i prolly would've hit her up. plus my aunt want me to come get my nephew shit. the ride to columbia ain't that long. if it wasn't raining i would've def go out. bk came through, chilled... LOL @ him stealin some white boys ipod. yo, i laughed my ass off. this niggah came in here with a ipod that didn't work. said him and issacel went out to get one of the cars fixed and the white boy wouldn't help him. cel hit the white boy and this niggah broke in the dude car and took out the ipod out. LOL. yo, these niggahs aint change. we used to do that shit in highschool. steal outtah bookbags,lockers, etc. when fights broke out in the locker room... went back out to the gym and started searchin bookbags. that shit used to be fun, stealin batteries, cd players, cd's, etc. the fights, the beefs, the annoyin ass females. oh chaquandra got thickkk, she look like a lil nerd with them glasses but man oh man she got a ass now. i touched it, but played it off by grabbin her lil phone on her hip. broad better stop flirtin back with me if she ain't tryna get her insides beat up. and ohhh, victoria ain't come to class today. pure bullshit, she lied to me last night talkin bout she was coming. lucky we ain't have homework or no work to turn in. i would've ignoreddd that call and just went bout mine.

2009-03-11T02:32:00.009-04:00

" How Do You Sleep - Jesse McCartney & Ludacris "

lol @ i can fight though. that niggah dumb, always screamin bout fightin. i just wanted to post these videos. good day turned bad... but fuck it. i turned that around. OH, sucks for suns. don't look like they gone make it to the playoffs. not like they we're a factor to the celtics... just thought it would've been cool that shaq got a chance to get another ring. i know kobe was mad, shaq leaves his team... hit up miami and get a ring. kobe ain't get another ring yet... he's workin hard for one though, he just need a better team. lakers SUCK. odom is suspended for leaving the bench, im suprised it took so long for them to even notice that. i wrote like 100 blogs today, i need to stop bloggin foreal. this is not good, i done post a bunch of times today, most of em we're about different shit but still. i need to just leave the blogs alone. my nose is stopped up though. idk if a cold or its my allergies. i'm a go to sleep though, got CLASS tomorrow, our spring break aint until... next month. what kinda shit is that ? i ain't gotta go next tuesday though... that's like a mini break yenno ?

let me get off here, and call & wake this girl up to see if she coming to class tomorrow. i don't wana go but then again i might have some work to turn in and i can't miss that. i need my credits so i can get the fuck up outtah there. and this weekend, maybe or monday i'm a hit up the unemployment place or just use the application Tia got me. she works on base at some lil children day care and there be alot of jobs there so she tryna hook me up. i need something to do during the summer time. most likely this summer i'm trying to go to FL. brother thinkin bout movin down there after he come back from over seas. if he does, i'll be in FL alotttt. i hate the heat but theres baddd bitches in flordia. rican broads, etc. went a while ago with cousins. it was nothing but broads, went on a inside rollercoaster and it was some broads in the line. it was me, dub, troy & jay r. all got a chick, lol @ somebody yellin louder than the broads. i loved that. i'll hawluh but let me go get my phone before it hit 3:00.

3:25AM

Ne-yo wrote this, his cover of it was better. she can't sing. i hate when people fall asleep on the phone with me. i'm talkin and you sleepin, so it's like i'm talkin to myself. STOP THAT SHIT, i call... that pose to wake u up. i know ya'll be hatin that too, you call to wake someone up and they talk for like 5 seconds and they dont even talk... they just gruntin & " mhm, yeah erin... okay. um.." to everything you say. but i'm going to sleep finally.

2009-03-10T21:46:00.004-04:00

" shit only hurts ckuz she was right about you."

it's 9:48 " times goes by, puffin on la... hope'n that it gets me by, it got a niggah going crazyyy " ( this might be a long post ) honestly, my sister can be annoying sometimes. i like to talk to her, but she talks too much & calls at the wrong times. i'm in my bathroom, drying my hair and she calls to talk to me to death. and like a dummy i stay on the phone knowing i got shit to do. but sometimes we have cool talks, intrestin shit. like she complains about her babydaddy not being there and shit. but i'm glad my cousin talkin to her. what i think i'm a do before 12, is..clean my whole room. hang up all my clothes, and my new shit. empty all my drawes and sort things around so i can easily find them. clean out my closet, straighten up my bathroom. throw away the ashtray and my old lighters. i'm done smokin, even though it'll help mend my problems... i feel like it's time for a change. i'm actually being nice to some, and for those who been using me, lying to me... bout to get get the rude side of me. the cold shoulder.

" i give you my all, but it seems like that's not enough. "why am i changin all of a sudden, idk. somebody just showed me that i needed to change. so i thank her. i mean, i tried to be real and text her not knowing what to say. and i get the same attitude as always... and then the lil slick shit. that shows you right there why i don't try and care about bitches. shows you why i'm done giving a fuck about females feelings. i texted her to let her know i missed her a lil & i got blew off. so, i'm following a different path. doing things differently. i know for a fact i won't make that mistake again. but in all honesty, i miss her but she don't gotta worry bout me ever saying anything else to her. that's a closed chapter in my life & i'm rippin that chapter out and burning it... to forget it forever, real shit. right now though, i'm sittin in a bunch of pennies from outtah my dresser. i decided to empty it and clean up and i'm gettin lazy so let me get my ass up and do that, but let em finsish this post.

" become done giving a fuck & done callin... i got your email i was done way before then. "( cecily: Do you get your eyebrows Arched? ) LOL foreal, i don't. they just look like that. idk why, what sense would it make for me to go to get em arched and i don't even get my dreads retwisted. i had em in for almost a year without a retwist. i need one badly. jessica told me to get tee tee to do 'em over. but me and tee tee had a lil arguement, ckuz i tried to play her infront the class by calling her 'fast'. so i doubt that'll happen, for free anyway. but yeah, danielle... i don't what i hate about her so much. like, all my feelings for her and jeanri died. like they cool or whatever but i feel nothing for 'em, honestly. sorry had to be said, but i don't. neesha, no feelings for her, its like i'm just shallow. that might help me avoid being dissapointed anymore. but enough about me and bitches. after i clean up i'm a lift some weights, i benched only 10 and stopped this morning. that shows i'm lazy, and then play 2k9 and empty my mind. was in the shower earlier singing and shit, washin my hair... that's when the songs really hit you. when you in the shower, got the radio loud as fuck... but foreal. i'm a new man, new decisions, new attitude, new path, new attitude, everything new besides the friends. i still got the same ones.

" & certain wounds only heal over time..

no shame in my game no pain no gain "

2009-03-10T18:16:00.007-04:00

EXXXES

" she be calling my NAME ! "

it's 6:15, i already made a post... but i forgot to add some shit and i don't want no long ass posts. if u wanna read the last post, just go to the archives. all i was about was my day i think, what happen, me having a weird ass dream this morning about somebody when i thought i got rid of that thought. atleast i tried to, too much pride to even get into that subject though. and uhh about my conversation with james about the long distance shit, etc... but yeah, lewan bitch ass coming through friday. i think i'm a drive to columbia. everything is in columbia, if we go to clubs down here... most likely we'll fight. if it ain't a gang related fight, or just me seeing niggahs i don't like... or just other niggahs fightin for no reason... most likely it happens. Mi-am-i, like a hood spot... niggahs alway shootin out there. plus it's hot. how can it even be called a club... when they let EVERYBODY in. it be packed, bitches/niggahs back to back. crowded like hell. u can easily get shanked in that bitch. bitches be in there half naked though. only plus about miam, them hoodrats come out in some shortt ass shorts and tank tops. ass hangin out.

sabations, and gucci's is like a grwn spot. fights rarley happen, but i don't do the clubbin or drinkin shit anymore. i'm bout to quit smokin, get a job... cash up. finish school... move away to a better college and live my life. i gotta let me days count... instead of just countin 'em. ( that came from some speach a preacher made ) yeah i remember what my preacher preached. i'm a church go'er! nah, it was on the lil thing outside of the church when we passed, i just wanted to make it seem like i went to church. but my cousins are wild. how you 16 with a 28 year old living in the house with u, sleepin in YOUR bed and ur parents and grandma cool with it. like that ain't COOL and my 14 year old cousin daitn a 17 year old. i know they fuckin, her mom lets them stay at home by thereselfs... drop her off, etc... i have fool ass family. i don't even claim them motherfuckers. i did have sex when i was like 15/16, but i'm a dude. she seduced ME, got me in the car at the theater and fucked me. i did get on top though but that aint the point. LOL @ after we fucked her uncle coming out to the car like he was checkin the lights. idk if it smelled like sex, if the windows we're still fogged... i dont even remember. i know we we're shocked to see him actually come out there. i'm a go play 2k9, bk bet not show up. i might just say fuck it and go out to the club with them one night. niggah a blood, everybody he chills with is bloods, i tried to leave that alone but might no reason to leave it alone anymore.

oh yeah, and u bandwagon ass niggahs JUST NOW likin joe budden... get the fuck on somewhere. ya'll niggahs just becoming fans, like he just now soundin hot. niggah been doing this since pump it up. ya'll just followers. liyah put me on but god damn... that was a WHILE ago. i been rockin with joe since MM2, that's good enough. BYE now.

" said she'll never love me, ckuz ion love my ownself "

2009-03-10T17:04:00.006-04:00

" so kiss that niggah, hug that niggah... love that niggah to death

go on & please that niggah, feed that niggah... in time you'll see te problems yourself "

ay, i tried to watch a movie on HBO and i fell asleep. I had a great nap though, so thats all that matters. i'm watchin martian kid now, this movie is toooo weird. i hate it. but i love it. last night, or this morning. i didn't go to sleep til like 5 so it's this morning... i had a wild dream, idk where the dream came from. i didn't have her or anything on my mind and still i had that dream. i hate dreaming now. i hope i never dream, can't be seeing that face in my sleep. but yeahhh, i woke up after a phone call and went to school and actually enjoyed my self. we talked about like old shit... cassett players, tape players, typewritters. only reason it came up is because the topic about WHEN cd players we're made came up. and they're like 20 old heads in there... like over 40 years old. i couldn't do it. go to a community college at a old ass age. you wasted all that time, for what ? to work, hell u back to school for then ? but yeah, why everbody a budden fan. liyah put me on budden a while back, i can't lie... i never knew he was so good either. but niggahs was haitin... sayin how he cryin on his tracks and shit. now he's HOT, his shit is yall favorite song ? get on with that bullshit

i'm carrying on, but today was cool. woke up and couldnt find no change for a black. then all of a sudden i found a handfull of change AFTER i came home from school. that's wild... but today i'ma just gonna avoid bk cause he already textin me crazy. i'm a play my xbox and let me day end. lol @ me almost fightin some broad. i think it was a broad. i can't explain the turn it was, i'll just say i was sittin there waiting for traffic to clear up, she turnning the opposite way so she mad ckuz her way is clear. he/she honks her horn. i'm talkin shit, i turn around to look at her/him to see them better. and she points to the road like " go " i smile, turn around and just sit there.... traffic clear... just to fuck with her. she backed up and turned around and whle she was turning around i decided to go. i prolly pissed her off. but that was fun, and it was early and i just had woke up. i'm my grumpiest at that time. don't fuck with me then.

james came to me about something the other day, and it really made sense though. ckuz i mean i went through the same thing, planning to see somebody then something always coming up. it happens to the best of us. i mean, i gave up though. when you wanna see somebody bad and they make it seems as if they wanna see you too... but every chance something else comes up, i mean prolly once or twice i understood why she couldn't come. but i just got tired of trying myself so i said fck it, and move on. tired of this internet shit, it got old to me when i was fuckin with danielle. i just thought id actually be able to see tee, welp that ain't happen. bee, i just wanted to see if i could bag that again. prolly could. not bionca, the other bee for those dummies. but yeah, like i don't see the point anymore. if you don't plan on coming to see me or don't care to meet me, then i don't see no point in us even flirtin/talkin/gettin together. but thats just me.

2009-03-09T23:33:00.003-04:00

I GOT GREAT PROBLEMS!
" when love is your problem... no man can solve it "
that song was in my head allll day, ALL week matter of a fact

lol, today was a good day... could've been better, but i avoided even lookin at my phone. tired of pointless text messages and niggahs like BK and cedric always callin lookin for me to either burn them a cd or waste gas riding round sumter lookin for maryj. i don't see no point in it, i mean i can just make one call and get some... but thats me and i dont smoke no more so yeah. i gotta quit smokin blacks, couldn't laugh earlier. shit actually hurt when i laugh... bad bad sign. i'm DYING! & oh yeah, d'wayne wade is the best in the league btw. just had to say that. but yeah... FOR SOME REASON, this passed week i wasn't in a good mood or feelin good or happy whatever u wanna call it. today, i feel wayyy better. like idk why. hope it stays that way. it might. watch me write a bunch of shit when i know at 11:42 i gotta get dressed and get my moms. I HATE DOING THIS, i love driving on the empty road but i hate going to get moms. I GOTTA GO GET MY TACOS FROM SIS and drop her shit off. i hope her tacos good though. eat em in the parkin lot watiin on my moms.

went to class, left out earlier ckuz i already knew the shit she was going over. 2nd class i basically had a midterm, prolly did good. i knew most of the shit, so if i didn't do good i'm pissin on the teacher ( not really, but yeah ). uhh, i couldnt go to sleep so i texted lena, and she was up. know i aint wake her up. she went to sleep so did i. i ain't talk to blackass today. i doubt i'll even talk to her agian, i might... but only if she speak to me. not to be mean, but i hate when it seems like i'm waste'n time. i hate waste'n time period, so don't do it. no patiences ( if that's the right one ) at all. if u gone beat around the bush, leave me alone. let me fuck and let's end it right there. oh yeah, ol girl in my CPT class actually looked better today. she's a dark broad. lil cute smile, and a lil round butt. pulled my hat out my back pocket when i was walkin out early. i'm leavin out early and her bitch ass gone snatch it. i'm tryna look cool with it hangin and shit and she had to make me look stoopid AND she got the teacher to turn around to see i was walkin out. " hey, where you goin erin ? " i had to make up some shit about my sister and her baby. " i know you already know this, but if u leave it's gone be a absent " i had to leave to take mom to work though, it was worth it.

2009-03-09T04:53:00.008-04:00

SHE ROCKIN THAT SHIT LIKE ....
" let me dive in ya heart & swim around in yo soul "
* added two more songs

TELL ME WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT MY LOVE ?

idk why i like this song so much.

LOL, i hate this song... but i posted it anyway

2009-03-08T05:26:00.004-04:00

" when love is your problem, nothing can solve it! "

dream album been aight so far, j holiday shit stil hard though. it's 5:26... idk if that's the right time but i think im a need to go to sleep after watchin this movie " over her dead body " it won't be up to watch after 10:00 AM today. i didn't know that, glad i decided to watch it right now. i don't know what's wrong with file den either, i've been tryna get to the site for the pass 10 minutes now. after i been on the site just now... it wanna load slow and shit. prolly something i did, idk. it need to stop actin up while i know the song i wanna upload. shit always wanna act up when i need it to work. that's some pure bullshit. it has that lil circle and Connecting beside it with ....'s. i keep staring at it, thinkin it's gonne connect already but it says the same thing everytime i glance up from readin what i type. fuck it, i might just watch this movie and if it decides it wants to work later i'll use it. GOD. i hate this internet shit. why it wanna stop workin when i got shit to upload, now i gotta go round the Inet lookin for something to upload these songs onto and i gotta do registerin and mail checkin and THEN when i finally get it up and uploadin fileden will be done. SEE HOW DIFFICULT THIS THING IS ? ill just wait, if i fall asleep... ill upload tomorrow. i ain't got the time.

lol @ the convo earlier, i swear... fakes aren't smart at all. i mean, i ran into alot that's a bad thing. running into alot of fakes, youd think i'd know who's fake and who's real by now. i still can't figure it out. weither it's fake, as in stealin pics or fake as in character. to tell the truth, i'm a just stay to myself and fuck with those i fucked with from get go. i talk shit bout people, but damn... i always talk shit. i don't say nothing personal, ya'll niggahs be whisperin PERSONAL, rude ass shit about each other. even about me, difference bout me is i don't care. i really don't. sorry. i was stuck with my nephew today though. until mom came home then dipped out. i was ashamed for the young girls in Walmart. they look bout 10-13, dressin like they grown. all of 'em bout 4'9, then another group of hos... like 4, look older. i come from outtah the papertowl/paperplate isle walkin to the babysection to grab zamari & jay some diapers. broads passed by, i hear mumblin, as they passed and some stand blocked most of there face and the last chick was walkin behind it, the blackest i assume... made it mad obvious by lookin directly at me. coming off the aisle " let's get you some napkins 'some random broad name' " i ain't hear the chick name. mad dude's walkin in groups, like i went to walmart just ckuz its down the streets. these niggahs hit up walmart like it's a 2nd mall and walk around the whole store... like 3 times just to be seen or to see everybody. i seen raheem with some dudes frm HS, niggah got a baby now... black ass HELL.

but yeah, tomorrow... nephew goes home, and i get to rest the rest of the day and CHILL. i hate the internet. I GET fileden to work and that shit won't even play the songs. i guess i'll wait til i wake up or something. i'm tired of fuckin with this. i've been fuckin with it since 2 something last night. well that's when i thought about startin, i started a hour ago. i found out a way to get the feelin back in ur arm. if u layin on it or leaning on it and it starts to tingle. like if u was sleepin on it. i just flex my muscle, keep doing it until i get the feeling back. I know it's weird, but just lean on ur arm one day, or ur leg or sometihng and when it starts tingles... just flex your muscle and the feelin a be right back. OKAY i'm done with the dumb random shit. holler... lol @ it workin on firefox though. GOT IT, i gotta find out why it aint workin on IE.

2009-03-06T15:22:00.010-05:00

" after three years, girl let it go
accusin' me of shit you don't know "

well i don't really feel like bloggin today, home alone... i need to get some rest but i wanna play 2k9. might just go see what BK nem' doing... its a friday. i need to sleep though. when i wake up ill call around for now i'm a get my rest... ain't have but 3-4 hours or sleep, MAYBE MORE but still it felt like 3-4 hours, i need atleast 8 hrs. and i had to ride to columbia and back and sister was gone dump nephew on me... too much. let me enjoy my weekend break atleast. lol @ ol' girl that work at youngs askin me about my pajama's. i went and got some spongebobs and some moutain dew ones. yellow and green. i went to youngs two days in a row, yesterday with mountain dew, today rockin the spongebobs. " dang, you got collections of jama's & bed room shoes " i kinda dont, but i kinda do. got like 5 pair of them lil soft, comfortable bed room shoes that i mostly wear everywhere. why i blogged this song ? idk, i listened to it today in columbia... fell in love with it. mario gone say that ain't rihanna, sounds alot like rihanna.

you gone be in the emergency rooooom, yeah right. but miss valentino been switchin back and forth. she'll fuck with me for a while, all in love then dissapear for a while. thats cool, brandee just disapears all together, tashur... shes cool, but idk bout herrrr. still waitin on mickey to respond to my message, i gotta message IBI on myspace. that's fucked up, yolee bitch ass quit fuckin with me like that and i turned around and started talkin her bestfriend more than i did with her. now THEY don't talk and her bestfriend calls me almost everynight, or atleast texts, message me. that's weird. fuck yolee confused ass, she can still get it though. nae, actin like she the shit like always... know she ain't a dime, BADDD bitches get a pass to act like that. jeanri.. lol she a cockblocker. swear i'm dissapointed in her, mad i participated in that shit. diamond i ain't mean to interfere into your personal life only because i don't care about anything in your life. just sayin, i still love you though. i need to start back being nice. matter of a fact, i will do that.

" Tell whoever cares if a stray happens to hit me " too much budden, too many quotes. i need a new rapper besides him and drake. i swear i listen to them two too much to where i quote lines and sing there songs randomly... as well as ne-yo & j holiday AND dream. i need new artist. but i need to update my mp3's or just sell em and get a new one. i'm tired of mp3's when is something new gone come out ? like a pen or a bluetooth i can upload music too AND answer phones with. i mean, atleast like a hat/hoody with built in ear phones. SOMETHING NEW! it's 09, let's do something different. i'm a end this blog already. eye still twitchin like 2 days ago and my hair itchin crazy, i think i either need to wash it or just get it re done. i'm a wash it again though, just ckuz i like washin it... just not the layin my head on my pillow and wettin it up. i used up towels bringin it in the room with me for my hair, gotta make sure i dry it out and be sittin up afterwards to let it dry.

" we had no busniess havin' busniess "

Chorus - mario & ( rihanna )

( you gone be in the emergency room )

you standing by my bed & so-tempted to pull out my IV

(you gone be in the Emergency Room

i'm fightin' with myself , i can't hurt you even though you hurt me

you gone be in the emergency room )

I'm tryin' to call nurse, but nobody can help me now

( let me see you try to live without me now where's your heartbeat?

flat line on the E-K-G )

2009-03-05T20:05:00.004-05:00

" hold my heart, dont breakkk itt "

today, my eye couldnt stop blinkin just like yesterday. had a good day though, class was even good. washed up, playin joey and threw on the red monkeys... left and went to class. got a 90 on a quiz and fucked up a computer and fixed a computer. it was like a lab for the day i gusss. i hope i pass these classes, i been slippin on alot of work. matter of a fact, i'm a do my report and email it to her. i need that grade, i can't fuck up and get a failing grade for that. i could've been done it, but im too lazy man. gotta understand that. college is just updatin to me. i ain't gonna go this summer, prolly 2 classes ...all on the same day. so i can get em over with that one day. and only have to go 2 days. i hate going 4 days. not like i have alot of things to do but still, i hate wakin up that early and driving out 4 days every week. my fall semester might be my last semester if i can find a better college to transfer to.

oh, i forgot to blog and say i finally got my joe budden padded room in the mail. they sent it to my sister ckuz she had moved and they resent it cause of that. i'm mad they ain't just sent it to my name. dumb fucks. i'm watchin the game though, it's coming on. i missed celctics and nets, i wish i could've caught that on tv. i'm a need NBATV. i think i'll get it when/if i get these jobs. TIA tryna help me get jobs on BASE, so i can get on shaw airforce base anytime i want. thatll be the shit, just ckuz it's alot of stuff over there. i been all aorund with my brother on DE base, they got storessss. cheap food, cheap shit. i wonder what they'll let me do on base. i know theyll restrict areas from me but so what. i dont care really.

sister is annoying now with the new baby, like damn. what she moved for ? to make it harder for us, now instead of just sendin him down the hall. WE gotta drive all across town to get him and bring him back after a while. like thats annoying. she need to either straighten her niggah out ckuz im tired of the babysittin everday other day. like we just watched him wed. or tuesday, and then when she was in the hospital. i'm done doing deeds, shell be aight. i like this Jesse McCarntney song i posted though, lil white dude can sing. i heard his " beautiful " song and liked it, but he's pullin in sales with the luda feature and the song. let me upload some songs and i MIGHT change my blog layout. gotta watch hornets beat some ass ( hopefully ) i'm on CP3 side tonight

i'm gone now. yall be good, lol @ aaliyah gettin a blog.
how whack is she ? fuckin spic

2009-03-03T21:34:00.004-05:00

CHANGE OF PLANS

im with the nephew right now, i'll blog later.

i might end up doing inna minute, if nephew fall asleep anytime soon

lol @ nae erasin her shit cuz of some dude 'stalkin' her. you a fuckin fool

2009-03-02T20:00:00.012-05:00

" pray for me "

*EDIT - i wrote these two songs, congratulations & a better me... ain't write em to no beat, but i just wrote em sittin in CLASS, and one in the hospital on my phone. deep deep songs. some might not get congratulations,unless u knew my past though. better me is something i started on a few days ago and finished today. " love dont love me, well that's lovely " from better me. i think i'm a logg on and post the lyrics or just part of the lyrics. damn, i'm a fan of my own self. i be writin some deep shit. especially my ending of songs. " days of misery, don't worry you not the blame"

so saturday was cool, SUNDAY AM i went to the hospital... well 12 o clock aint the am. i stayed there, me and my nephew and my moms and my sister. NOBODY ELSE. waiting for my nephew. remember that, nobody but us 4, couldve been just her but it was us there waiting. and he finally came 12:09... sasha's birthday ( anybody that knows snoop ). but her brithday was the 2nd.

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk240/topbillinnn/img256.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk240/topbillinnn/img249.jpg

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk240/topbillinnn/img250.jpg

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk240/topbillinnn/img248.jpg

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk240/topbillinnn/img258.jpg
http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk240/topbillinnn/img260.jpg

what's with the fuckin vaseline on his eyes though, i forgot what my mom told me... but that's a pic of him like 30 - 40 minutes after he came. my nephew just went to sleep and i was there watchin tv and shit. but he was born 03 - 02 - 09, niggah . that's my lil niggah though, regardless. his lil chubby cheeks and shit. i sitll love my first nephew jay though, but zamari's the newborn. the next baby to take care of. it's gone be mad hard though. having to watch him and take care of the lil baby. i'm watchin harry potter though, this shit is good... i'm about to put the laptop down and watch this shit. peace though

birth of my 2nd nephew, time to slow it down.

i'm out though.

2009-03-01T00:40:00.004-05:00

" stuck in hell waitin on blessings, with no patiences"

i'll think about bloggin later, depression is real.

i'm slowly recoverin', keep your distance.

* sis should be droppin 2nd nephew sun/mon.

2009-02-26T17:59:00.012-05:00

" theres no room for me and you to grow

don't love me, leave me alone... DO BOTH "

done with the bullshit, foreal. but today was lameee. i went EVERYWHERE lookin for padded room and a laptop charger. i'm mad they didn't have SHIT. fuck sumter, i gotta order my charger offline maybe and i gotta call amalgam digital and ask them bout my fuckin order foreal. i just wanted to blog though. i had something say, but now i'm speechless, nothing to write. i was gone write about the tianna situation... but honestly that's a waste of time. like i went through all of that for nothing. so i'll rather forget about it all instead of writtin anything, explaining anything. i left her up on my blog, and on ms and all that, didnt erase her during other break ups ckuz i knew that wasn't the end of it, but i promise you. i'm done this time, she basically put the sheets down... i'm just making the bed, cleaning it up. no need to worry bout THAT anymore. how you gone say i don't care, but i made the attempt to get back with u everytime ? somebody should slap her. blind as hell. but yeah, that's whatever, so.. i'm bout to listen to some budden tracks " relationships are never a threat, i'll erase the history and act like we never met " just saying. but enough about thatttt, alot of shit be en going on, i'm just too lazy to log on here and blog about it.

i talked to ibi for 2 hours, black ass was on the phone with me until somebody called her. i just said fuck it, and talked to ibi all night. mad me and her are like the same. it's crazy, we'd sing the same songs at the same time, say somethings at the same time. make the same noises at the same time. she's like my twin, but not my twin if that makes any sense. but she's real cool, that's like my new bestfriend. i don't know yet, she's real cool though. i never met a person that was like the same as me, beside jeanri... but we're the same in many different ways. that's why we so close, or WAS so close. i hate my laptop foreal, i can't keep it charged for shit. my charger is type stupid. it use to work without me having problems but now it's actin sooooo gay. might just turn it off until i get my charger ckuz this is annoying, foreal. i got a desktop but i'm too lazy. might just MIA it until then. but for now i'm a hit up all my sites, and get the number to call for my motherfuckin CD. i knew i shouldnt have pre ordered that bullshit, joe budden is a dissapointment. how you not have ur cd in every state. like damn, you couldnt get alot of copies out ? we got ur first album and mixtape BUT NO PADDED ROOM ?

nvm, i'm back, charger working better... i had to break something for it to work. not really break anything, but you know... bend it. i might end up sending my computer and charger to toshiba before the warinty expires next month. you know LMAO. send them it and be like it ain't workin right. just break this shit and get a brand new one and a new charger. damn that would be mad smart but i aint cheap. ill just buy me a mac book ckuz the charge last for 8 hours. FINALLY yenno ? a charger that doesnt last a hour and then die out, i hate it. i have to charge it every hour. WHATS THE PURPOSE OF TAKIN IT ON TRIPS ? the trip longer than an hour... you get to play on it for one hour and thats it ? kinda makes no fuckin sense. but yeah. let me unblock this ho, ion why i got mad. I GOT 60 in my pocket, if i find padded room, i'll buy every copy they have. i promise i will. i dont know if i said it before, but i seen starks in walmart, i gotta go listen to the music me him and breezo did. i used to love making music. now my love for it is dying out. i'll still write. MY COUSIN BREEZE GOT AN ASSULT CHARGE. whats wrong with ya'll bitches, claiming some niggah hittin ya'll. i know my cuzzo and he wouldn't beat no bitch down, i mean if u got on my nerves or put ya hands on me then i might do some shit like that but you know... not for no reason. but yeah, it's whack. RIHANNA HAS FUCKED IT UP FOR ITS ALL, but i'll snuff a bitch. ( i'm just kiddin, don't get scared or suspect... i ain't that type of dudeee ) i'm a go though.

i'm a listen to joe budden shit since the shit won't come in the mail. but let me finish talkin to ibi and watchin tv. i think i'm a get some sleep, so i can be up all night and shit. I SKIPPED CLASS, not like we did anything important. i gotta get on my game though. print out some practice tests and get to work yenno ? i'm a impress motherfuckers and stop using people. ckuz i seem to do that alot. i used tia for her practice test to study and ACE test, she get tired of that i know she do but she do it ckuz we cool. people use to do that to me in HS, but i became cool and started cussing niggahs out and doing my own shit. FUCK YALL! my sister should be having the baby soon. sunday or monday, when mom goes back to work. I HOPE THIS ONE IS LIGHTSKINNED TOO, i dont want no dark nephews. i might abuse em. ( i'm KIDDING ) i love my kin, specially my first nephew, that niggah is like my twin so i love him to death. i'm a go. this would've been a big ass paragraph if i connect both like i started to. but i'm not gonna be lazy to make this blog look longer. i'm carrying on though.. hawluh

" I woke up without a heart beat "

2009-02-22T02:57:00.003-05:00

" looks like some shit is on my mind "

today, was great. i wanted to go clubbin with the squad, but these niggahs love goin in clubs throwin up sets and shit like sumter ain't full of haters. seem like shit always pop off when i'm round them niggahs so i left that alone. B came through though, i need to get my cake up and take that pistol off his hands though. niggah tryna sell me a shotgun, fuck i'm a put a shotgun ? i need something small. but yeah, today was cool. next weekend, i'm a try my best to head up to rock hill for that homecoming. i'm tryna get pissy drunk and fuck any broad that smiles my way. this niggah wan a cock blocker. we went to KFC and i'm bout to spit game to some girl he talk to cousin... this niggah gone blurt out " HEY SHANETTA " like man gtfon. she wasn't bad, but she was cute, i remember her from highschool i think. she was decent. i hate walmart broads though, they either got the phone to their ear like they talkin to somebody or strutin round like they ain't 16/15. i seen a lightskinned broad today, baddd from the back. seen her face and she was aight, my niggah jeremy i used to record with was walkin with us then. i pointed her out, niggah ran up with his phone out came back quick. " too young " i can't lie, broads can appear old as fuck now a days... but who wants to be old ? i'd rather stay young forever, just to dick down the old broads, and be young enough to dick down the mid way young hos.

bionca read me a poem/something earlier, i liked it. i don't really like poems like that unless they make sense and rhyme, i barley even read poems. and because of her situation, it made sense. lol @ jeanri tellin me she went with trey then hours later this niggah gone say " idk, ask her " how you not know, c'mon bruh. i can't say shit in my blogs no more, niggahs read it and bring it up... it could be something i wrote 2 years ago and i won't win ANY arguements, anything i say they gone pull my blog and hit that older post button. " oh nah, u ain't say that in your blog " i don't mind though. just lets me know somebody reads my shits. i hate writin a bunch and then feel stupid because nobody really reads blogs. i mean, i only read blogs that are intrestin'. if u sittin there carryin on about dumb shit, or whine'n and complaining about a relationship, or something i don't care for, i won't read. i'll skim though.

i thought about the air force, but changed my mind quick. my cousin and brother both ready to leave then B just left from the navy bootcamp and that niggah said it was whack. said it was just like school " studyin part ". LMAO @ not knowing how to swim. niggah said he aint know how to swim and went into the deep pool anyway. niggah pushed him in and he sanked to the bottom and stayed there. i remember doing that. use to go to pools on base with cousins. and be on side of the pool and hold the side and jump up and just drop to the bottom and hold myself down see who could go the deepest and stay tdown the longest. i miss my cuzzo's, it's crazy ckuz my cousin marvin lost like all his brothers and sisters. i can't believe he lost his TWIN though, thats like his other half, his best friend. i couldn't do it. i just can't see if, lost his twin and two brothers. and it all happened all quick like under two years. AND he lost his pops after all that. ckrazy shit. i think i'll die if i lost siblings or parents. i'm the type where when i'm depressed that shit sinks deep and stays for a while. so i honestly think i'd go MIA, and prolly hit up a halfway house, poppin pills somewhere bounce'n off walls.

tomorrow, i'm a hit the mall back up and hit up walmart. i gotta get my nephew a new outfit, get my 2nd nephew some diapers and shit. get my uhhh sister something just ckuz. get me some new shoes, prolly some fuckin j's that i'll wear twice then pack em up and throw em in the cloest and some more clothes. i got a closet full already, but it's crazy when i wake up in the morning and just sit and stare wonderin what i'm a grab out and put on. it ain't like i got a million choices just don't know what to take out. it happens, but i usually solve it by just randomly grabbin some jeans and the rest just follows. but yeah, i'm not sleepy but i think i'll leave. i'm tired of bloggin and nothing really else to type about.

* pulled out the 2001 rap book, i feel like i wrote some hot shit. or atleast had some nice topics, i'm bout to crack this shit open and read some shit i wrote.

2009-02-20T01:45:00.005-05:00

i was on imeem and ran into a few old tracks i uploaded, i wish i could find them on my computers man. i gotta hit my cousin up to see if he got 'em. for now... i'll just put this on here to let ya'll listen. idk why i like this track so much then the others.

Relax - Breeze & Young Nence

heres another track

Boy Looka Here - Young Nence & Breeze

2009-02-18T13:47:00.007-05:00

" you the fuckin best "

i don't really like bloggin like that anymore. it's just something about it now that i ain't into. it's basically the no privacy. i mean, there ways i can make my shit private but what's the point ? i'll just make a extra blog or something and keep that to myself. i always try to do that and it never works. idk why, i either never update it or i just stop writin in it and start writin in this. but yeah. i'll blog but won't be nothing personal or deep like i used to do. too many people on blogspot know, i ain't tryna have people i know nothing about knowing my life. no offense though.

right now i'm in class, while er body doing work i'm typin this. i was on CS & myspace but that got boring quick and tianna ain't respond to my text nor my message so fuck her punk ass. she'll text me later or so " no text all day ? " and i'll say something rude back. it's sad i haven't man up yet though. i know what i'm doing and what i'm NOT doing but still i don't change up. i will eventually, i just need some time to get it all together. don't doubt me, be about me baby. i'm mad she assume i be fuckin left to right though, like i'm some ho ass niggah. nahh, mistaken. but why am i sayin it, who's gonna believe me ? i'm either lying, playin too much, never serious... etc. oh well. if she don't believe me, she just won't. i can't sit and try and make someone believe me if they refuse to. i won't fuss and argue about it, it is what it is.

i wanna leave this class, but don't want an absence. i haven't had ONE yet, and i'm a keep it that way just cause. i don't hate class as much as i did LAST semester. mannn, every damn day i would hate to come to class. id miss atleast 3 just ckuz and miss another 4 days to take mom to columbia and back home. good excuse, i know. i got alot of things on my mind though. it's crazy, some things eattin me up, botherin the fuck outtah me and others are just there giving me something to really think about. i tried to stop smokin, but i can't. i will after my last black today, i promise you all. i'm done smokin, i'm done the gang bangin, thuggin bullshit... BEEN done with that just still partial affliated. i'm leaving all that ALONE, school work is gone be my main priority, alone with moms, tianna, gettin a fuckin job, helpin with the bills and all that good shit. i been tryna get a job for a year now, that's crazy. well not really a year, i gave up round christmas... i'm back on it, a lil bit.

Kobe sucks, for all you KB24 fans, i hate ya'll. idk why i posted this video. maybe cause my lil 3 paragraphs wasn't enough so i wanted to add something extra just ckuz. yenno ? solange be on twitter and shit, then she stop twitter'n and i see on thisis50.com she overdosed on nyquil and shit. she'll be aight, she too lightweight to be throwin back pills like that. and SHYNE might be released from jail in april. if so, that shit will be huge. as long as he ain't on his faggot shit, or his " i changed " african bullshit. he come out with some dreads, darker skin and his BIG voice niggah will go 3420 times platinum. ( i'm kiddin ) but foreal, whenever he gets out, it's gonna be crazy. being in that bitch for eight years ? that's a long ass time. for some bullshit, i'd come out JUST to hunt diddy down and knock his ass out. pistol whip him or some shit, go back to jail and do a lil time for that dumb shit but i'll feel better that i got out to do that. yenno ? why do i keep sayin yenno, carmen weird ass got me sayin that. i think i'll end this blog now. it's 2:05, i get outtah here at like 2:30 i think and my next class starts at 2:55, i'll go to he car and listen to some music then go and sit in class and do NOTHING.

2009-02-18T01:18:00.004-05:00

" she be calling my nameee "

new blog, nothing to write about. so i'll post videos. btw, joe budden padded room leaked. im sure EVERYONE has it now. i haven't listened, but i have it. sho ya right.

Kanye West

TI & Justin Timberlake

2009-02-16T04:54:00.006-05:00

" pussy's only pussy, i'll get it when i need it "

since my file den shit actin retarded, had to go to the archive and fetch out some of the old ones. i didn't even know i had so many old ones. i be waste'n shit, make 'em and forget about 'em. thank god for notepad. tonight, lame... i didn't do much, just gettin over a sickness and it's gone be slow. i got school i THINK tomorrow. if i go and theres no cars, i'm coming back home. but i think we'll have regular class. it said it on the site, so if not i'll just come home. i gotta get a black when i leave too. gotta go buy a black, maybe a box and some other shit dependin on if i wanna just spend money. i gotta save... lmaoo @ will smith, niggah stupid. i haven't seen bad boys inna while. i seen bad boys II alot, but not the first one. they need to just come on followin the other.

moms sick, went from nephew, sis, me to moms. that's fucked up. hopfully by the time i get home tomorrow she be feelin better. it took me all day to get over my sickness. i hated it, so i made sure i didn't throw up. drunk maddd ginger ale and ain't eat ALL day, ain't drink nothing but ginger ale, i was determined not to throw anything up. it worked but it ain't workin for moms. i hope she get better, i hate being sick and i hate seeing people sick. they be all lazy, and stuff. i be dependin on them to do things for me and now i can't. lol, nah i don't depend on nobody, i just use them frm time to time.

lol @ joe budden " i wont chris brown ya " yeah, he def in the threads. niggah singing the double mint commericals and all. i hate that niggah. i gotta pre order his album though. it comes out 24th, i know... why not just buy it in the store ? idk, i might end up doing that anyway, but why not pre order it ? last album i bought was game. that's ironic. bought game's last album, buyin joe budden FIRST actually decent album IF it ever drops.

my hair's wet, i washed it a few minutes ago, i'm mad sleepy but i'm fightin it. why ? idk, i just like being up late so that i don't wake up until time to go to school. get up, shower, clothes, store, school, class, home... CHILL. my monday usuall. mondays be boring usually, unless i'm annoyin the broads in my math class. quanda & whitney... i always thought darkskinned broads would be named shaquanda, but this bitch is bright as hell... nerdy and thick. yessir. whitney is like 4'2, boney and weird lookin as hell. but i knew em since highschool so they get a pass.

" you the fuckin best " ( to you nae )

i'm in class... but i just seen this and it's worth postin.

Joe Budden - "In My Sleep" Promo from Three/21 Films on Vimeo.

2009-02-12T02:52:00.003-05:00

" you're all i need, to get by "

this video deserves it's own blog, i like jadakiss version, but this shit is deeper. this video should hit 106 or something, just play it... you'll get where i'm going. i might play that shit over and over tonight. BUT i gotta watch mirale at st. anna... so HAWLUH! remember, pause my music player and push play to the video. shit is crazy

" the world took you through hell, hope you in heaven bro.

i talk to you in my prayers, but here my letter go. "

2009-02-10T00:49:00.004-05:00

" round and around we goo.. "

ayyyy, today i actually enjoyed my whole day. from wakin up to my nephew early, to gettin drunk with a headache from hell. i woke up, like at 9... cause my nephew came to lay with me. he won't tomorrow, they moved into there own house already and hopfully they stay there for the longest. but yeahhh, they're gone and this morning he woke me up from a great sleep so he can jump up. uhh, he went to my mom after i called her and told her he was wide away and i needed to go back to sleep. i got me 2 hours of sleep and then got up and ran to school. it was a okay day, it wasn't cold nor too hot. it won't be hot tomorrow, so i'll wear some shorts. i prolly won't, but it depends on how i feel when i hit the closet in the morning. idk, can't tell you. i change my mind alot of about things. it sucks, but that's me. i should be sending jeanri " sunset - ja rule " but, my ares actin mad slow and won't download the shit. it's downloadin now, but it's gone stop and start up and stop and so on. so i won't bother it until i'm done with this blog.

today, after school... came home, stomach hurtin already.. checked the mail and came home. seen the bad lil broad... i forgot her name but i seen her lil ass walkin home. mad she still in school, young ass. but i came home and played a game, motherfuckin dragged the bobcats. left, went to sister house. stayed there for like 2 hours, i get there and it was chill. they playin cards, jj out on the grill. no problems. when travis and birdy show up niggahs act a fool. first travis and baby momma and him went at it, then birdy and slopp bout to fight over 5 dollars. i mean, i would be mad too but i wouldn't be dumb enough to throw that much out without making sure i get my change so fuck that. chilled with jessica and nikki and my nephew and his cousin. watched some boring ass tv, drunk a budlight, had me a black. was GOOD, finished my budlight and lay on the floor like a damn fool. the hotdoggs was strizzle, the cookout next time better be better.

honestly, gang bangin at that serious, everybody wanna talk about it. niggahs is fake nowdays, making up there own sets nowadays. i don't even think sets round here real. so its pointless to fuck with gangs. sooo... yeah. i stand alone. what i need a whole squad of niggahs to run around and get in bullshit trouble for. anything else, we don't talk. i just don't see the purpose. my arms are gettin tired now, i don't get sleepy until 3/4AM, and yeah... fuck ya'll also... i'm gone. time to watch george lopez. hawluh!

get it girl

2009-02-08T02:44:00.007-05:00

" niggahs ain't macho man, they miss elizabeth "

So my dayyy was cool, woke up mad late for stayin up LATE LIKE TONIGHT, but after this i'm a play ONE GAME of 2k9 and then go right to sleep. ckuz i gotta watch boston & spurs then lebron & kobe go at it. Tomorrow line up on abc should be good, celtics need to make up for that lost with lakers and drag some teams. I don't know how they gone do tomorrow, i can't speak too fast. i'll just wait til tomorrow. everybody remember, at 1 celtics and spurs. abc channel, whatever channel that may be. today though, After waking up all late... i was suppose to take nephew out to play but when i got up... sister ended leaving after my mom went to take her boyfriend to the bus station. so they took him when they left so i ended up being here alone glad they ain't leave my nephew to terrorize my ass. he's maddd annoying at time.

I did madd liftin yesterday, i lift weights and then sister wanted me to help her move. so that was even more on my arms. went from back pains, to arm and leg pains and i'm still in pain as i type. but like i said, before i go to sleep i'm a play 2k9. i'm not a bit tired though. but lol @ ol' girl going back to the ex though, like i didn't expect it but it's funny how right i was. i see now on to run with my first thoughts. but i won't stress it. just speakin on how i feel about something that ain't even a big deal but if read, it will be made into a big deal so why bother entertaining it futher more ? but yeahh, i'm on CS, and these niggahs postin nudes like hell and NOBODY gettin erased. well they ain't nudes but close enough, ribs just that cool though. but whatever, i'll upload " back to what you know" right NOW, just so i can listen to that shit play over and over. that's my fav song now, i think i'll play it now.

50 cent = plain stupid, this niggah is a dummy. it's entertaining though. Foxy brown going to go in on him. THAT should be madd intresting. said she gone get him " brooklyn style " or whatever, can't remember what that damn site said. OH WELL, atleast i was close right ?

Get himm, Rick ross baby momma i assume talkin about ross and releasin/exposin' ross or whatever. how he was in his moms benz when they met and how he a lier. I didn't watch it though, I just read what's on top of the video. Shit's too crazy. These niggahs gone destroy eachother, couldn't be mature and let it go like rick ross & bow wow these two niggahs had to get deep into the beef. i think it's pointless though, not the beef but the reason they beefin. they beefin ckuz rick ross got a weird LOOk from 50, how whack ? I ain't gone wait long after something happens to get mad at you over some little look you gave me. " niggahs is transparent, i'm lookin right passss you " typin this lil paragraph got my arms hurtin just that quick, let me get off.

2009-02-05T17:27:00.004-05:00

" better off without you "

i been all around the world today, and still haven't gotten my motherfuckin check in the mail, niggah i need my nba live 09... i don't wanna wait forever. i played 2k9 earlier, got my ass dragged by spurs. i didn't know them niggahs was so good. i must've had it on all star still, ckuz if not... god damn i'm losing my skill on that game. first spurs then the magic start whoppin my ass... i just got mad and turned it off. but today, i went to class, did a quiz and FAILED and did some work... argue with these niggahs about rappers and then left. came home and fell asleep BUT took my sis to hospital, then woke up to pick her back up. NOW i can't go back to sleep.

tonight at 8, i'm watchin the game. finally i got a clear mind, nothing to stress me out about no bullshit every god damn day. not sayin i don't miss her ass, but damn i feel way better without someone textin me, complaing bout something i'm doing or not doing. that shit is annoyin like hell. especially when i'm always at blame. but it's cool now, i don't fuck with nobody. all these lying ass hos are about to get played. i'm a go try and put my nephew to sleep THEN ONCE AGAIN take my sister to another fuckin store. ya'll don't know how annoying having your L. has gotten. everybody want you to drive them places. they complain if u don't feel like it, then when u drive they complain about EVERYTHING you do " watch the sidewalk, too close to the yellow line, TOO CLOSE TO THEM CARS "

" bran nubia style, i had to love ma BUT leave her alone "

2009-02-03T12:30:00.009-05:00

" I can't teach you to stand right beside me

or the priveleges that come with that title "wifey"

i'll be back to blog, i'm tired right now and moms nem' on there way. they expect me to take my grandma home and shit. i had like 3 hours of sleep, prolly 4 but still tHATS NOT ENOUGH. i'm a try and catch a nap before they get back home, then i might blog. if i don't blog by 4 or 5, then most likley i won't be bloggin until late tonight. round 3 to 4. so if you're up then be on the look out. i got some more sit to complain about. i'll be back though. and i didn't have class today, sooo HA motherfuckers. i went there and teacher was sick. I DONT HOPE, but it would be good for the class if she's still sick tomorrow, n thursday

" don't wanna end up lovin ma from a distance "

but i'll be back to blog, i hope they drive slow and don't get here too soon. i need some rest, plus nothings on tv. perfect time to get a quick nap. ya'll check in later to see if i updated. and i haven't read ANY blogs latley. but treys, tianna & jaes... like, idk. i'm lazy, i say i'm a do something then never do it. oh well. [ edit ]. so i'm sittin here watchin american idol, and it's gay. they eliminatin people so quick. but they lettin some of the whack people along. but uhh, i think i might hate this american idol this time around. but i'm sittin here tryna think of something to write, guess i'll just write about my day. woke up madd early after being up all fuckin night, so i was tired and shit. got up, smoked... took a shower and left. went to school, got there and found out my teacher wasn't there. most likely she won't be there tomorrow and the next day cause you can't get over a sickness in 2 days, or maybe in her case she can and HAVE to. but i'm a go to her classes anyway just cause. her class is a computer class tomorrow anyway, its not an important class. all we doing is startin on next chapter. i'll go in there and bullshit on the computer maybe

but after i came home after signin the attendance sheet, i got here and watch videos and watched tv.. and then i thought about sleep. decided to take a nap. right when i'm going to sleep, moms and sis keep buggin em about takin gma', so i had to get up and take gma' home. went to DG and burger king then subway. i wanted burger king but decided to just get subway. i'll get chineese food some other time... gettin tired of subs and burgers. either that or i'm going to get some more chicken from KFC if they still got it. i think tonight i need to get on my mathlab and do that work. matter of a fact, i got a test TOMORROW so i'm a get on that shit now lol, knowing that shit gone be passed due date by 12 tonight. i'll go do that in a hour or 30 minutes so fuck that. i'm a get to that after this blog.

i like the song, i think jada gone get mad props for this song. album might even sell more than he usually do " i'm my own fan ". i been jadakiss fan since knock yourself out and all his first shit, and plus his freestyles are wayyy better than his album music. but he still go hard when he drop albums. my nephew is in here jumpin on my bed and it's annoying. about to lay back... watch home improvement and relax for the rest of the night. WELL see there, already forgot about my fuckin homework. but i'll get to that.

chocolate high > any other song out right now. brb

" ay you love me but did you call me no
So is it really really love or am I all that you know?
cause you quick to tell a kid to never call you again
with that said how can I call you a friend or anything more?
how can I see us havin anything more
If its that easy what we go through anything for?
or..problems lets squash it its senseless
dont wanna end up lovin ma from a distance "

great lyrics.

2009-02-01T23:30:00.010-05:00

" rather me, i ain't ready to be what you want me to be

ckuz i love you.. i want you to leave, plz..."

my day was medicore, type boring. i enjoyed it though. woke up early since a minute, and mostly cause my nephew learned how to open my door. so my morning wake up was HIM and him waste'n my motherfuckin sprite all over my pillow and bed. that's some gay shit. had to throw em in the dyer and couldn't try to go back to sleep. plus i had to pee baddd. ever woke up like that, dreamed of pissing and wake up dick hard... having to pee bad. that shit happens to me alot. i'd rather have wet dreams, fuck the piss dreams. but i see what movies i'm a download tonight. zack and miri make a porno and the infinite playlist bullshit. woot, i'll be watchin those tomorrow. prolly tonight if i get onto it RIGHT after this shit which i will obviously.

but yeah, back to my day. after i got up... i waited to go get dinner. which was KFC for the game and end up eatin that shit wayyy before the game. and the game started out mad boring but ended fuckin good. i liked the endin. these niggahs fought for that shit. but i really wanted Arizona to win and they didn't so fuck the superbowl. I WANTED carolina to make it but they didn't so i picked outtah the two. and happened to pick arizona cause diamonds from there and fuck pittsburg... just cause they won. NOW, next is the playoffs. time for my team to do there thing, if they don't then my next pick is lakers or detroit. nuggets are aight but they look like they slacking. they gotta get used to billups first. dallas might make it, but might not make it all the way. NETS got potential, alot of it. so i got faith in them making it half of the way and doing good. but they won't make it pass magic or celtics. hopefully celtics get up there, they been kinda actin up. went from 19 games, to fuckin up to back on top with 11 straight wins. 8 more until they hit 19 again, if they do its official that they're the best team in the leauge but that's gone be hard.

" i told you from day one, i aint SHIT when it comes to relationships

i don't have the patiences... "

besides sports, i had a okay day besides tianna and her shit. it's like everyday, same shit. i mean
i ain't sayin i dont care for her, but god damn... if you can't just simply be my girl and stop doing the dumb shit and stop gettin me mad then you good. but nah, she bring up shit... COPIES ME, why the fuck would i wanna date myself. i got with u for a reason, not to date my motherfuckin self. be your self, that shit ain't cool or funny. that's annoying. but whats done is done and this time i'm tired of the game... i ain't fuckin with it anymore. i'm done going through it over and over again same shit same shit. me tellin you the SAME shit over and over again and you still repeat your self after knowing how i feel about it. niggah if u ain't listening to me then what the hell should i even bother talkin. but besides that, lol @ ol girl and her bf argue'n over my name being her stat. how simple minded niggahs is. but foreal, i'm on my FUCK that shit. meaning, i'm done being nice and considerate and sensitive. fuck YALL. i'm on my fuck you shit. you cross my path i get in that ass. you say something slick then its FUCK you bitch.

that shit looks harddd, but the last shot looked mad fake. glad they brought vin disel back though. vin and the white dude is what made the movie even worth watchin. could've brought the other people back too, but i guess this is cool, that transformer shit looked hot too. i might end up burning the movie though. i hate going to movies now, specially to watch movies that i know won't be THAT hot, it looks good but i'd rather spend money to go seen AALIYAHS first movie then that. and yeah, allhiphop claims aaliyah bout to drop a movie... not soon but you know sometime. i think that'll be crazy, hope jay & dmx be in. dmx especially... which makes me think about that i miss you video. i think i'll post that. i'm too lazy to go find it right now though. i'll get it after i'm comfortable, and bored or something. my nephew pushin mad buttons on my phone... lemme take the shit from him and get off this shit. HAWLUH

i'm mad this blog took me like 30 miutes to do, that ain't long but still... i had to get the pictures, watch the videos and get the links. write all this shit and at the same time i was talkin to miss yolee. SEEMS like she's back talkin to me but then again not really. i remember i was in deleware or whatever, i talked to her ass OD. we talked on the CP laughin up a storm, then got off and text or called each other. talked for hours, and talked til the sun came up one time. but i was mad sleepy so i decided to let her go and take my ass to sleep. I MEAN, i just had to add that in cause yolee flirted with me ODee then, now she on her new new shit. she fuck with me PARTIME. it's OKAY, i'm a squeeze my way back in then BAM!!

2009-01-31T18:08:00.013-05:00

jessica alba > beyonce
" i'd do anything... anything ? anythingg for youuu"

fuck bloggin right now, watchin my nephew and tired. i slept most of all day though, didn't fall asleep til 6 something while watchin family matters online. i need to find the new episode of monk tonight or check to sen when usa will be replayin it yenno ? today, i didn't wake until like 2 PM and that was because i wanted to jump up and be nosey. this bed is comfortable though. i'm glad i bought this shit, hopfully it lasts a long time. but i guess i'll log back on later tonight, when i get bored and decide to read each and everyones blog and comment on them and stuff like that. i get bored when it's late. have nothing to do and just decide to go to sleep, so i'll blog and comment blogs round then. cause right now i'm about to watch this rick ross video and listen to this 50 cent diss. i thought it would've been boring but then again 50 is a fuckin retard, i like hearin him clown niggahs.

i bought a box of blacks today, them shits hopfully will last me a while instead of me smokin them up like 2 a day and shit. but i had help so can't blame me. sister would smoke some, id smoke it. keep in mind she's pregnant, she still smokin like a dummy too. my nephew need to just hurry and come. i'm tired of sharin blacks. i think i'll end this blog short, and come back to edit it later. iloveyouall. ok, i lied. fuck ya'll.

rick ross v.s. 50... too funny. rick ross ain't even important, what niggahs mean he on top of the game ? rick ross ain't THAT good, he's aight. but i don't know about that beef, it's gonna be funny though. 50 loves killin niggahs career and shit. i fuck with 50 only when theres beef brewin', if he's tryna sell records i leave that niggah alone. he can make a hook, but sometimes the songs are just as dumb as soulja boys.... nah not soulja boy but you get where i'm tryna go. but fuck 50 for killin ja rule's career. why all my fav rappers had issues with 50 ? budden had a problem with gunit, game! smh... ja rule wasnt my fav rapper, but i liked his music. 50 just love tryna ruin careers and shit. fuckin gorilla lookin ass niggah, only niggah from shady aftermath worth listening to is eminem, maybe dre but eminem prolly writes his shit now so eminem is the only niggah i'm fuckin with unless his next album is horrible and i doubt it is.

today, i woke up like at 2 and still was sleepy but decided to get up anyway. went to the trash, mailbox and to the store and get some blacks and a honey bunn. i didn't want it, but just got it anyway. tomorrowww, i'm gettin some KFC i hope and i got a 12 pack of sprites that i prolly done murked though. i know i had like 5 already, but i'm a stop drinkin them after this one. them lil caprisuns was too good. i know i was drinkin 5 a day. had two boxes and after 2 days they're goneee. superbowl, tomorrow ? i guess i'll be watchin that bullshit. i don't care who wins, panthers ain't in it so fuck the superbowl. carolinaaaa! we'll get it next year... i hope. if they don't, new england get it and i'll be happy.

I guess i'll just post a gif or two...

2009-01-30T01:43:00.011-05:00

" rell's just not that into you "

new motherfuckin blog on the way! get ready niggahs, not now... maybe like 5 something in the morning when i have nothing to do... so ya'll niggahs WAIT for it. but uhh, i'm about to hit up some homework, watch some videos on WSHH... check to see if joe budden dissed saigon bitch ass again yet and listen to these songs... rihanna "hatin on the club" track was aight, i got them EXCLUSIVES! get like me foreal. i'll edit this inna minute though, so if you come back and see this unedited then i'll get to it ASAP.. maybe i forgot and went to sleep, or maybe i remembered just didnt wanna do it. PLUS IM ABOUT TO PLAY SOME 360! today was a goodday, foreal it was.. hopfully it's a good day tomorrow. HAWLUH!

aight i'm BACK, this niggah carmen done jacked my layout & shit... it's cool though, I DONT MIND! but yeah, today... woke up a couple minutes late and had to rushh out the house. got there earlier enough to study real quick and get a A on that fuckin test, shit wasnt even hard. but MATH next week.. that's gone be hell though. come from school, and everybody all dressed upp i'm tired wantin to go to sleep, motherfuckers happpy bout her taxes. dish me 150 and gave mom 200. i spent that 100 quick, that tells you i'm horrible with money. can't give me SHIT. plus i'm gettin my school money and some more money so shittt.. i'm a get all this unimportant shit like today. i wanted to get NBA live 09, but i wanna wait til i get my new gold card membershp before mine expires. i haven't been online inn minute though, been gettin my ass dragged in 2k9 though, i almost won like once and then these niggahs started foulin at the end and won by like one shot. i was pissed, buttt... i'll redeem myself.

sister went to doctor, been there for a good 5 hours... i fell asleep at gma house watchin soap operas and shit. that shit was so boring, and that couch felt good as hell. i'ma get a good sleep today. got me a new airbed until i get my matress for my bed and shit.. i might not even bother might just get them futons that i can fold out as a bed and fold into a lil chair whatever. a niggah don't want a bed crowdin up the room. i'm bout to play 360 after this blog, well go smoke a black like ALWAYS then play the game. lol @ katt williams... 'hold uppp, wait a minute. let me put some pimpinn itt it" niggah on drugs now, gettin slapped in clubs and lying about it and shit. niggah was on the radio lying his ass off, actually confusing me. going from sayin he got snuffed to sayin he got slapped to back that he got snuffed and how he ain't get knocked out. man, as long as he's still funny, and stay making movies and shit i wouldn't care.

LMAO, 50 was waiting on some beef. he was tryna trap lil wayne daring him and shit, now rick ross got the nerve to talk some shit. i don't even remember what rick said but it was some simple shit, idk where the diss came from but this niggah came out the blue with a diss to 50, and 50 like always gone be ignorant and respond. that niggah loves beef. jay z need to diss 50 or something, a decent beef worth watchin. rick ross is another fat joe just he ain't as good as fat joe even though he sells more.. i think fat joe is a better artist. but who cares 50 gone fuck 'em both up. but yeah, i'm on this twitter shit and it ain't as addictive as i thought it wouldve been. trey gay ass talkin bout this shit addictive, nobody followin his ass! nah, i wouldn't know but that shit ain't that big of a deal. it's too simple to me. should've atleast have something else to it shit. but i'm complaining so don't pay me no mind. i tend to do that shit when i'm bored. it seems to entertain ya'll motherfuckers.

this song is hard, i think i'm a write to this beat sooner or later. i need me a mic and some beats, and something to record on. i got the beats, the mic won't cost that much and i got torrents to download something to record on ( pro tools ) i'm only good with protools and fruityloops so fuck all that other shit niggahs be claiming they use and shit. i like this song though, niggahs sayin jada can't make a album... niggah album might actually be aight. i'll buy it just to support the bastard and cause i think he deserves the shit more then some of these lame niggahs that's selling, like soulja boy... etc. soulja boy ain't selling though, so fuck him. i think he lied about gettin robbed too, either that or he's scared to even talk about it.

tomorrow, i think i'm going to go ride around the city and bullshit around. hit the mailbox and check for my money. if it ain't in there i'm a come home and play 360 all day until i pass out. OHWELL! nothing to do in sumter but party & bullshit... and i don't do the club shit... that shit does nothing for me. be in the club with a bunch of drunk niggahs and bitches... either fightin or tryna find something to bag. lol @ me going to the club before my cousin went to texas for basic training. which was a WHILE ago, i get caught on the dance floor while niggahs fightin and gettin carried out the club. some broad in a dress, drunk up tryna dance with me and shit while i'm tryna walk through the crowd. niggahs done went fool, from fightin to bringin guns in the club and shootin up the club every night and these niggahs don't do shit but let the SAME niggahs back in and not check em. only place worth going to is the mall, walmart ( which is where er body be ) or a club, and the clubs is mostly packed with BLACK niggahs so you get in and you gone be sweatin like hell especially in the hood spots. but yeah.. i gotta pee and i'm tired of writtin so FUCK YALL and have a nice one.

" it ain't your beauty, it's your booty "

2009-01-27T01:38:00.007-05:00

" don't go. . . ckuz you make livin' so difficult
when you're not here with me. "

i'm pretty tired right now, but i just wanted to blog real quick. might not be anything long... just a quick recap of my day or whatever. it might be long.. cause right now i'm edit'n my singingbox now that it's back working. ( mad firefox won't play it ) but i got two other internet services so idc, maybe my firefox is just malfunctioning and mine only. idk. but while these songs upload to fileden i guess i'll edit this shit. i signed up for twitter today, i have no idea why... but it should be decent. doesn't seem like no gay shit. it just sounds gay " twitter " maybe it's just me though, that just seems gay. but i signed up as ( drugmoney ) if you're on it and lookin for me. now that i think of all the things i wanna write about... this blog actually might come out to be as long as my last two blogs. if you don't feel like readin, i ain't askin you too. i'm just in the writin mood. i gotta get a password to microsoft office 2007 also. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE IT, hawluh at me i ain't buyin that shit.

today, was a bullshit day. i won't bother to complain, cause atleast i didn't have no hard ass homework and shit. it was a cool day at school, was actually not listening to my teacher in my first class... i was on the internet doing other shit, thought she'd noticed me but she didn't. that was cool, i'm gettin back addicted to CS.. that's gonna have to end like foreal. that shit is no good. but 2nd class was decent. she went over the quiz that i obviously did great on... and then she teached us the next chapter or whatever. it wasn't that big of a deal, i just hate sittin there doing math a whole hour and 20 minutes of my day. i don't know why, i just feel like high school was useless. i did all them math classes to GET A JOB, not to go to college and do more to get a job. i'm buggin & i'm complaining, don't mind it.

but other then classes, my day was okay. came home to my nephew & mya ( his first cousin ) walkin around my living room. two bad ass kids, that's horrible but she wasnt even bad. just cried alot... u put her down to walk she cried, you go to lay her down she'll cry.. i guess that's just lil girls. idk. played the game, got on here... went back to the game & texted a lil... i think i need a new phone ( i don't NEED, i just want... for the hell of it ) but another blackberry just cause my phone startin to get annoying. i want something new, idk what kind though. i know i gotta pay my brother some money for my phone bill when i get taxes or sometime soon cause he gone start bitchin about it soon. I GOT YOU BRO. i gotta hit up rock hill and check out wan's college. i haven't left sumter since i came back from delaware... well columbia, but that don't count. it's right down the street basically.

100 to 0 ? that's not possible, how did they NOT score at all ?

" sorry is not enough "

so i downloaded a bunch of r&b songs, i can't do rap no more... until joey drop new music or another decent rapper put out some soulful music. keri hilson got a new song with ne - yo, but i don't really like it... i don't like her, she's just kinda cute or whatever. idk why this niggah trey been sayin she BAD, SHE AIGHT! gtfon. she kind've sounded like beyonce just now though. fuck her, i took a sleepin pill and i should be sleepy now but i'm not. WHY i took it ? cause i've been up mad late latley and that can't continue during the weekdays when i got a 9AM class and shit, even though it's just like one class tomorrow and thursday SO WHAT, that's too early to be wakin a niggah up talkin bout learning some damn difficult computer shit yenno ? but i got a test, well a quick quiz that i'll study for in FIVE seconds.

about tianna, i mean i gave it though. maybe the shit she said about my personality and my character ain't such a big of a deal i made it to be. i was just buggin on some dumb shit. i mean, i felt it was cause it came outtah no where and i expected HER to know that shit, and to know that's how i am but i just assumed she didn't after that. made me feel like she didn't even know me at ALL. ( i'm ready to fall, what about you ?) i went to everybody bitchin about that one small thing though, that was kind've whack of me. and all of a sudden maddd people poppin up outtah no where. i gotta calm it down and start ignorin some motherfuckers. only way for things to go back to the way it was. i hate how things are between me and tianna, just readin her blog got me shaking my head. btw, i did fell asleep last night.. why would i hang up on you ? think about it. i went to sleep and woke up at like 6, and drunk some kool aid and stayed up til like 8 until i fell the fuck to sleep. GREAT SLEEP but then agian i was yawning the whole time in class... i was hope'n nobody notice ESPECIALLY NOT THE TEACHER

this j holiday song has been in my head for the past minutes along with that dream & mariah carey song... mariah killed that shit, fuck dream.. he DID AIGHT, but mariah with her lil high notes and her voice... killah! i listen to too much r&b. hiphop is losing a fan! i kid. i can't EVER turn my back to my motherfuckin hiphop <3!

" tell me what they know about my love "

2009-01-25T15:30:00.006-05:00

" don't break it, it's yours "

so celtics game just win off, won by 24 i think... or 25 either or, we still got in dallas ass badly. spurs and lakers about to play and then later detroit playing. i'll be watchin all both games all day, i don't got school til this time tomorrow... so i got a whole day to waste until i have class. watched Notorious with cammie yesterday, mostly all night, she gettin all happy bout the sex scenes... it was a good movie though. funny at times, and intrestin'. should been some better actors though. the actin sucked and shit. but i won't complain about the movie cause i sat there and enjoyed it and didn't pay a damn dollar to watch it. so i won't even complaing about shit, the chick in the movie did make kim look like a lil slut though. don't mean i still wouldn't stick my dick in her a few times or what not.

sister woke me up this morning to put the car seat in jessicas car ( sister in law ).. she just brung him back and he didn't wanna let her leave, he being a lil punk crying and walkin back, form room to room.. don't know who he want. he prolly just sleepy. i'm about smoke a black though. he's gone be short if he come down here lookin for me. but uhh, today i dont' think i'm a do anything but sit here and download music and watch movies and shit. nothing else for me to do, lakers was winning by just now buttt, spurs catchin up so.. i'm a watch this game after i finish this blog and talk to cammie prolly. but she's not really respondin like she was last night. swear we talked all last night, even went to the text and was still talkin.

neesha thinks she pregnant, lmao... she just lost her virginity or so she say. i couldn't fuck a virgin, i mean it would be nice... but the bleedin and the sensitivity... nah i'm the type that i don't really like going slow and gentle unless it wanna enjoy the pussy. if i wanna enjoy it, i'll take it slow and be gentle. but if its a jump off or a one night stand type broad... i'm ramming that shit in so i can get my nut. fuck all that making love shit, only might do that with a chick i KNOW i'll be with for a while or fall for or some shit. but you ain't gotta worry about me fallin no time soon. left and right, broads been dissapointing me... i don't even want nothing real anymore, i mean if i find it then i'll take it but until then i ain't lookin for or puttin as much in it anymore. okay, fuck that subject.

i listened to zshares of joe budden on shade45 radio, the shit niggahs say on the radio. i'm mad they don't play game on eminems radio station. thought the beef was just between 50 and him, that's fucked up. but yeah... heres a lil video of some of the session on the radio... it might autoplay but i don't care... ya'll niggahs better learn how to scroll and pause that shit. and fuck you nae, dark ass tryna play me on CS earlier.. knowing damn well my number was locked in your phone. i lost your number by mistake, don't try and play me out lil niggah.

i didn't listen just now, cause i'm too lazy, but most likley he's talkin shit about saigon and how he didn't write the 2nd diss. even if saigon didn't, the shit was still horrible. i can't fuck with saigon, he's just not entertaining ( music wise ) niggah couldn't drop his album, after having 32323 hits he sitll ain't drop his shit. had hot beats for nothng. it's sunday though, i think i'll stop bloggin and look for monk online. i missed that shit friday and it seemed like a good episode from what i seen. monk > house, CSI and all that boring shit. just so ya'll know.

another thing i wanted to say, you ever met a broad and all you want is some pussy, but you don't think it's gone be that easy but you try anyway and it just happens. you bag it and think that's it but the motherfucker stick around like you WANT her around. mannn that's one reason i stopped fuckin with random broads, cause everytime i meet one that shit happens. they end up fallin for me and shit. But oh well. i think i'm a go smoke this black now, get something to eat and hopfully my nephew doesn't follow me back to my room to put him to sleep like he always do. but i might be back to blog later... until then ya'll enjoy this and take it easy

this song was stuck in my head all night and shit. i don't know why i like it so much, but it ain't annoying like them dumb ass beyonce songs that every broad be singing ever minute of the fuck day. i'm a go though.

enjoy the fuckin song, hawluh!

2009-01-24T01:29:00.008-05:00

" click - click, bang bang... shot right through my heart "
( this might be a long post & to stop the music, scroll down and press pause
of the saigon WSHH video )

so it's been a MINUTE, but oh don't count me out yet... a niggah was just caught up and all types of bullshit nah mean ? not referring to nobody at all, just sayin.. it was a bunch of bullshit that had me caught up from gettin on here bloggin. from the girl, or ex as of yesterday... to the lazyness to just not even seeing the purpose of bloggin. but i got 3 followers, and i've been slackin major big time. i'd jump and blog real quick and that'll be it for the WEEK. well nah, i'm back... and back to what i do best which is complain and bicker about the shit that goes on around me. worldstarhiphop and joebuddentv is where i've been at mostly... if not there, i'm on CS if not THERE i'm not online period. so i've been avoidin this site from day one like hell. and the internet did some bullshit just now... a niggah tryna find music to put on my player and the shit close out. fuckin whack!

but just overall it's been a stressful week, or couple of weeks i must say, alot of this and that going on. mom don't have chemo anymore, but she's still sick it's just her hair isn't fallin out anymore cause the chemo is over. radiation or whatever is next but that's right round the corner and she might be going back to work sooner than later or say her doctor. she seems too comfortable and lazy now, i doubt she'll wanna go back but she'll have to get back used to working again.. mostly until i get a job a DECENT job and a job that can handle all the bills and she can just leave that gay ass plant she's at. but i doubt that'll happen cause she likes working around the house even when she can't do much she likes to get her ass up and wash dishes and clean and all that shit she use to do alot of but can't anymore.

my sister big ass can't do much either, she's soon to drop another one. he's suppose to be coming march, which is less than 3 months away, got another NEPHEW on the way. like last time, i'll have a shitload of pictures... maybe this time i won't have to use my camera phone but whatever, as long as i get a picture of him. oh yeah, she's naming [ zamari JERELL benjamin or anderson ] that will be one special kid, with the perfect middle name. and yeah, my name is spelled jerell on my birth certificate but OH WELL, mad i always thought it was spelt jarell and never knew til i actually read my SS# card. My lisience doesn't say jerell though... idk.

let me say, some crazy shit been poppin up on WSHH... for those who don't hop on it or don't want to i'm a post the videos here inna quick minute ( fuckin CP trippin, just cutt on me and wouldnt'cut back on... i had to take the battery out and all and still wouldn't come on. had to unplug the charger and cutt it back on without the charger in. either its gone crash or the charger is fucked up. WHATEVER IT IS, it better straighten the fuck up.

i can't lie and say the end wasnt funny, when he got on joe on the pump it up beat but that's about it.. i'm not feelin dude like that. the beef between the two was whack to me, saigon just showed he ain't gone just let joe diss him and get away with the W. but he just ain't gettin the job done. failed the criteria. he did alright with the diss though, he didn't suck completely... like his first shit. his first response to joe was kind've whack. he had a few good lines gettin at joe but it didn't really make me feel like he won that round, nor did he won this round regardless of what niggahs say, he did get at joe though make no mistake.

ANOTHER thing..

O'Reilly, and the other dude... these niggahs are wyling. i mean jay and jeezy did went all out and really got on bush, prolly wasn't needed but god damn. these niggahs hear that and throwin wordplay around, sayin slick shit or what not. i mean, to me all i see is HATE, it wasnt that big of a deal. " no more white lies, my president is black " them boys here that and get upset. they could've kept there comments and left it alone. like, c'mon.. its a celebration bitches. of COURSE it's fuck bush... appreciate his effort. be happy, and sing along.. quit complaining like niggahs CARE.. EVEN FOX had something to say. i would post that video but nah.

but besides them videos, my day was swell. went shoppin with moms and nephew... dropped sis off to hospital. my soon to be 2nd nephew won't act right for the doctors so she'll be right back up there the day i have to go to school. they call for freezin rain tomorrow, which might results to ice which i'll def. hate. we might have to leave the crib and go to the grands cause this house will get cold as soon as electricity stops working. i don't mind sleepin on the living room floor or some shit. but uhh, i really can't write something brief about my week. just know i missed two days of school, one for MLK and the other cause of snow. went wed and Thursday and had a quiz and a lab to do. got it done though, so no worries at ALL.

tomorrow, i don't know what's going to happen. i might end up somewhere in the city or i might go to st. john. that niggah BK back from chicago... niggah was in the navy and i heard he got kicked out he told me he left cause it was boring and all they did was sit behind a computer and get yelled at. sounds true, when i went to see my brother in TX that's all they did mostly. not to him but while we walked around, we seen lil groups of em running round and they'll stop... get yelled at for something then start back running. i have a temper problem, them niggahs all in my face hot breath and all id have to swing and hit one of em. just so they'll get the message i don't like that all in my face shit. sorry, i'm not with that. but yeah... like i was suppose to do a WHILE ago i'm a leave on that note. i think i started this at like 2 or 3, and it's 4:31 now and rosanne is on. i hope this goes off soon cause i need some full house to put my ass to sleep like it always does. but i'm gettin hot from this heater and i'm sleepy and i'm thirsty so HAWLUH

2009-01-19T17:23:00.001-05:00

so i had me a black, and my mind is all fucked up. not because of the blacks but because of you motherfuckin females. ya'll mood swings are HELL... i don't know what to even say about it anymore. shits get to the point where i don't even wanna respond to the dumb, confusin shit ya'll say. but tonight is MY night, i'm watchin basketball and hope'n for some snow tonight. hopefully it just snows real hard tonight and through the morning. like a shit load of snow... 3 to 4 inches and it just piles up hopfully. i just don't wanna move tomorrow, just stay home and enjoy my break from school. i know it's bad i already want a break from school but so what motherfucker ?

i'm tired, i stayed up til like almost 6 in the AM... that's hell and woke up like 1 something this afternoon. but never the less i'm not as sleepy as i thought i would be. time to watch my game cause my nephew just came in spittin about to fuck me up from typin' so i'll be back to blog tomorrow or later tonight maybe. i ain't sure, depends on whats on my mind and how i feel. detroit and memphis about to play now... then boston and suns then cavs and lakers. i think that last game will be the best one outtah them most, even though boston's my team... they been fuckin up latley i stil have faith

2009-01-16T02:27:00.004-05:00

" the old me is dead & gone.. dead & gone "

some of you birds are like comedians i don't even know why i bother with ya'll. it's like one minute it's all good, then next minute ya'll mad or just actin dumb or weird for some reason. tianna's been the only one that's been botherin me the most. we'll talk for a minute, then next minute she's on some other shit. either i get ignored or she just act weird... i'll leave that alone for her and herself to figure out. i feel dumb for even entertaining the bullshit though. but other then that, today went by slow. was tired but that came and left. was driving all day. drove to school and BACK then drove around town from one side to the other, drove to my uncle house, drove to the hospital. i finally let my sister drive then. school, was even crazier... the work is gonna kill me but i'll be aight. tonight, nuggets & bulls won. cavs should've won even though i don't like the fact there rank was better than celtics. Celtics play monday i think, i'll be watchin them beat suns ass on MLK day. THEN tuesday is school.

alot of people are just poppin from out the blue all of a sudden. a hand full of people i barley talked to, or no longer talk to like that. i mean, i left jay alone cause he seem like he was going through shit and i like to joke around and shit so i couldn't be serious. but i'm refering to the broads, they just poppin up... or IM'n me like crazy now. i'll be back tomorrow to blog about some more dumb shit though.

2009-01-09T21:48:00.003-05:00

" maybe i'm better off without you "

so today was overall a long day, woke up extra early to sit up at a doctor office for HOURS and shit right ? so we got up there like at 7 or some shit, ended up being in there til like 3 almost 4, and it closes at 5. so we just gave up and left, scheduled one for tomorrow. hopefully that works so i can hurry and get checked and get it over with. my throat is still hurtin, might have to get my tonsils out but my right eye is red, and it has been like that for almost a whole 2 days going on 3. but yeah, sis went to get her food stamps, since she aint working and moms not working and IM not working. she went and got those until her 2nd baby come and she go her black ass back to work and i'm stuck with two bad ass babies. if she stil be living here then.

i gotta play some more 2k9 online tonight, i've been slacking. i'm bout to go back to school and shit so i'm gone need to start back playing it this weekend so i won't be too busy with homework and shit to even touch that shit. i know the math gone have me OD busy, and i hate that fact. my math should be easy though. i'm mostly worried about mising clases and that 209 class i got. we making computer and shit from scratch, like actually buildin them up and shit. that should be cool or what not. i'm ready for classes to begin already, they'll end as quick as they did last year.

i haven't got any texts all day, motly yahoo messages and i sometime ignore them cause they don't know how to say all they wanna say in one message, they send about 50 messages. niggahs playing games, acting stupid and then other niggahs cryin and complaining about small shit. oh well, they'll be aight. other motherfuckers back on that not talkin to me bullshit... fuck em all, i'm only responsible for ME. i'm going to smoke this black, watch me a movie or play 2k9 or something and then rest peacefully. no textin/callin me after this, cause its BROKE.

" quick to tell a niggah to never call you again

with that said, how can i call you a friend or anything more "

2009-01-08T19:30:00.002-05:00

i hope it BURNS everytime you remember me

ayyy, so i haven't blogged inna minute. why ? idk, just don't be feeling it like that. i get on and just say fuck it. go on my hiphop sites, and be off in a hour or two. but now, all my hiphop sites havent updated yet so i'm stuck doing nothing and i gotta keep occupied to stay awake. i haven't gotten my full 8 hours of sleep, niggahs woke me up early to drive them to the hospital. grandfather gotta get his OTHER leg cutt off... smh. niggah can't take care of hiself. had his first leg cutt off a while ago, now he's gettin the other off so he's just out of luck for atleast walkin a lil anymore. that leg is gone. he was in pain in the hospital, i had to leave out of there. he kept making noises and i couldn't bare it. plus i had nephew and he kept watchin him and lookin at how black and red his toes were. that shit was definitley disgustin. it's getting cutt off i think tomorrow or the day next. one of them days, so i know we'll be back up.

school start tomorrow, got 3 classes now 2 cpt classes and math AGAIN. mom gotta go to columbia for her doctor apointment, sister got doctor apointments all over the month until march when she have her second son. mom's last apointment in columbia thankfully... might have to go back to check up or something but not to stay like 6 hours while she's in chemo. i understand why she had to be there so long but its too long. but yeahhh. in other news, i cant stop listenin to this track. this sample is hot, i wish i knew it was saying. the ace da vinci - two in a bucket track. i heard it before, just never really gave it a chance and played the whole thing. now i can't stay off aaliyahs page, weird.

i'm about to surf the web or something, tired of bloggin already. niggahs been ignoring me lately. BACK on that bullshit. i see i always seem to entertain it though. back to my idc attitude then, niggahs just gone deal with it. i'm done caring cause niggahs take it for granted and shit. sit around and try to abuse it and i'm not with it. so thank you all for this. i'm gone.

" nothing lasts forever, whatever... "

2009-01-05T01:30:00.002-05:00

" i don't know what's REAL anymore... "

watchin honey mooners right now, i've already seen this shit a few times but nothing else is on worth watchin. i haven't blogged since last year mostly because i'm lazy and i don't bother typin the site and all that other gay shit. signin in, writin a bunch of shit. tomorrow i gotta drive to columbia, my usual. well i gotta drive FROM columbia. Moms gone try to drive to columbia, she might not be able to drive all the way to the hospital, i'll be there to drive if she can't. we gotta get up at 6, which is not long from now so i might need to go to sleep. tianna called, talked to me for like 12 seconds and then hung up. idk why, but ok.

i'll re write this shit later, i just got sidetracked and completey forgot i was writin this shit. BBL

2008-12-25T23:49:00.003-05:00

soon you'll understand...

the lakers lucked up and won, we'll be aight. we still the best in the leauge... christmas was aight, nephew got a shit load of stuff. i'm tired as hell, did wayy too much today. i should be passed out already but suprised i'm not. i'll be sleep after a few games on the 360 though. tianna's sleep now, everyones sleep or should be and i'm wide awake but will pass out soon. so merry christmas to those i haven't said it to and goodnight. i might be back next year, and i basically deleted er body on my myspace besides the people i talk to on a daily basis or 24/7, and shit. but idk, i might delete come next year and just log on yahoo from my phone and keep my music and blogspot shit update.

play some 2k9, sleep and prolly tomorrow i'll go clubbin. i won't be going new years i already know that for a fact. i might not go tomorrow, depends on how things look you know ? but i'll be gone now. ya'll can reach my on the cell phone or something. if you don't got the number, find somebody who does or just find me on MS and hawluh!

2008-12-23T19:29:00.000-05:00

i'm feelin all superhuman, she did that to me..

2008-12-23T00:10:00.002-05:00

" go back to where your heart is, just be honest. "

just called someone 3 times in a row, and no answer. i don't know why i'm countin, i shouldn't be but i'll lose track sooner or later but oh well. i guess i won't blog that much anymore until AFTER new years, even though this is like my 43223 blog this week oh well... but after this i'll quit it. i'll be in columbia for the next two days too busy to touch a computer so yeah. my cousin pose to send me some exlcusive beats he's making and shit. regardless if i can't record over them i'm anxious to get them shits for some reason. tired of writin over other people beats. i'm watchin anger management and i seem to ALWAYS stop watchin after the part where they all have the sit down. i watched it TWICE and missed it after that part. first time was cause me & sis went to zaxbys. this time, just cause i was on the phone. fuck the movie, i'll download that motherfucker

tonight ? well today, i was a bit lazy. DID go out an went to get my dad something for christmas, and went to get some wrapping paper also. i'm walkin in, and a group of skinny tall broads walkin out lookin me in the face. i don't like that, don't do that shit. if u know me speak, if not look away and keep moving unless you tryna speak ho. then another broad did it when i came down the aisle singin the christmas song playing. i kept singin, no shame niggah! i've been seeing too many broads i know around family. like 5 girls already hugged me while my sister was round. " *smiles* that's your girlfriend erin ? " first time seeing the broads and she ask that shit. sdfu. like two of got kids... and the rest are just random broads.

reason i wrote this song, is cause of that song " circle" by marques houston, i like it for some reason. but it had me thinkin. i mean, i'm used to being talked about here and there and 24/7 and shit like idk, just simply my girl od'n it. its not a GOOD thing, but i mean that's my sign that i'm actually, truly loved... why ? idk. that just lets me know i don't have anything to worry about and nothing/noone else is on her mind. but when i barley see that, and then other signs and shit floatin round i just think. what if i'm just that niggah she's with just to be with. just not to be lonley and thinkin bout someone in the past. i don't know, i'm just assume'n and guessing. i don't know, but i feel that way. like i'm just the middle man, that's here for NOW but once that person come beggin back it's " its not you, it's me " idk, i'll give it some thought

" when you live in my memories forever more, i swear
they're apart of the list, things that i miss.. "

2008-12-22T11:16:00.003-05:00

who you can love you like me, nobody
who can sex you like me, nobodyyy

my back hurt, i downloaded a few movies that will soon be dvdscrn's but i'm tired of waiting for the better quality versions, i'll just watch the cam versions and watch the others later on when they come on. yesterday was boring, i watched movies most of the day and today... i dk what i'll do. gotta go get nephew a coat, taking him to columbia with us... which WILL be hell, i already know but they want him to go. going to chemo tomorrow, gotta pack tonight. get up tomorrow and go to columbia and christmas eve afternoon we'll back and i'll be playing 2k9 that night. i already wrapped it up even though i played it 23132 times, OH WELL

new years, planned... me, wan and a hand full of others i think going to some club in columbia, and i'm going to show my ass. not gett pissy drunk though, just know i'll have some of that good shit in the car. martell & coke or some southern comfort... whatever i can get my sis to get me from the store. just know i'll be sippin that good shit, black in other hand HOPFULLY NOT DRIVING. and i will pass out wherever... but yeah, let me end this and go watch these movies.

2008-12-21T23:11:00.001-05:00

" can u tell me what to do when all the feelings is gone
when u look around - your all alone cuz all of that went wrong
tell me how u look into my face & say “baby I cant stay”
what do u do when the love just fades away ? "

2008-12-19T18:43:00.003-05:00

nobody's gone love me like me

so this song is on repeat, i don't know why i like it so much. it's just that deep i guess, and i'm into that type of music.. especially coming from joe budden. who wouldn't repeat a joe budden track ? i'm saying though. i'd see if it was some touch & go, pump it up shit... but besides joey it's been a fucked up day. got to wake sis up at 9 something so she can go back to her bullshit job. christmas party wasss shitty. didn't go cause of many reasons, and if there reasons NOT to go some where then that's a sign to just leave it alone and that's what i did. back in these four walls, playing 2k9 like always... writtin a bullshit blog, phone beside me on silent... it WAS turned off but i can't keep my phone off. got a bottle of some koolaid, well it was water but now it's koolaid, and my music up loud so i can't hear shit. that's how i like it... yenno ?

tomorrow's going to be a day full of choirs my mom will bug me to do. wash the car, clean it out... clean the house/room/bathrooms.. then finally cook dinner and get out the movie i promised to burned. see, i WANT to burn it but then again it's gonna take allll night and then it might fuck up while i'm sleep and i'll wake up having to do it all over so idk, i like to be awake to see if it messes up. it wastes no time, i can start it back over without any troubles or wantin to surf the web and the burning process going mad slow. i might end up watchin it tonight, i'm just sayin. i got that dvdscr... shit looks clear and like the actual dvd so i'm in bidness, might sell this shit. put in work son son.

so tonight, i guess i'll watch soul man or lakeview terrace or some shit idk yet still tryna decide. prolly finish playing this season on 2k9 a lil bit then find something on here to do... go see if mom cooked something if not oh well. prolly get up AFTER this blog and smoke this black and come back here and bullshit around. i really don't feel like being on here though. just that feelin like i wanna cutt this shit off sometimes and let it sit there off for a whileee. might do that after christmas. leave my computer off on christmas morning and never cutt it back on until... january 1, 2009. godieslow.

2008-12-19T03:27:00.004-05:00

" i'd rather be alone. "

i'm a bit sleepy, watchin this old christmas episode of fresh prince. i'm not really watchin, but listening which is what i do round this time when i'm on here and the tv's on. today was aight, i got up late like always and thought i was going to actually do something but only ended up going to walmart and spendin hours in there just to return one god damn game. i guess the christmas last minute shoppin thing is going on and keepin these niggahs too busy. i actually stood in 3 lines today, just for a return. left walmart highly annoyed, just wanted to get home. idk if the workers heard me complain'n about how slow they where and how they better hurry the hell up before i get rude. i tried not to be rude but it felt like them niggahs was testin my gangster. suwop ? but nah, this gang shit is played out. it's like every time i turn somebody either a blood or a crip... if not they claiming some made up gang, i give up tryna keep up with ya'll guys.

tomorrow, got nothing really important to do. just going to a christmas party at my sisters job... i don't care too much for who's gonna be there or none of that whack shit, i just remember last year how it was. old asses in the middle of the floor tryna dance, people from military coming in and eating then leaving like they we're invited. shit was cool to say it was a hand full of people i didn't know. i turned my phone off at like 9, turned it back on at 10 then turned it back off. now it's sittin here chargin... prolly done chargin but i don't care. i wanna play some 2k9 to keep me up, but being that i suck at that shit i don't want to lose and get mad and break the controller on one of these walls or some shit. i was close to doing it early, fuckin gay ass game.

what's your new years resolution ? idk mine yet, i prolly got handfull. nothing out of the ordinary though like... try harder in school, distant myself from some people, trust no one, show no love... etc type shit. basically shit that has had me almost on some emo shit. some may say i was a bit passed emo stage but i don't think so. i think i was just down, and alot of shit going on... and niggahs wasn't making it no better so i just got tired. when i'm tired of shit i just give up on niggahs, give up on caring, give up on everything and that's it. nothing really to it, nothing anybody can say or do to change that. moms cancer issue, sisters issues which are like all scattered... from her not being able to drive her own damn car to her being pregnant again and easy to get mad and bullshit like that. i can't live with this, i need a car so i can just drive as far away from this and get my mind straight. idc where, just far from sumter, SC.

i decided not to start ignoring motherfuckers. why ? idk, i just feel like i've been being too nice and shit to some of ya'll folks. i feel like i've been letting ya'll get away with shit. like we won't talk for 3232 months and out of the blue here you go tryna talk to me and joke around with me or some shit. i'll just get you the =| face or a simple lol. if its not worth that, you ain't getting shit. ignoring calls, erasing numbers, got a total of 16 people on my myspace list... and like 12 people on my yahoo so i prolly erased you just cause i haven't talked to you in a week or so. i'm just that fucked up. it's sad, r&b and these sad songs, budden songs and most of EM shit are like the key to my saneness. i've been feeling mad down, and edgy lately. i don't know what's been wrong with me, that's just how i've been lately and i think it's just stress that i'll easy get rid of sooner than later. this blog wasn't suppose to be this long btw.

2008-12-18T21:12:00.004-05:00

i don't need your love

so, i'ma play this 2k9 or watch seven pounds until the end of night or until i get sleepy i guess. turned my phone off, just so i won't be bothered with the bullshit & the lies & all that other gay shit i'm tired of. i'll end up turning it on by 12 though, just to play my lil bubbles game like last night and fall asleep in the process. i need to register for next semester and shit... i'll get to that tomorrow and do my finiacial aid bullshit. took my 2k9 game back today... took these dumb niggahs a hour to get me my damn game, THEN had to walk in the front and wait in ANOTHER line. i know it's christmas time but god damn niggahs.

i think i'm a cutt the 360 off for the rest of the night, i played enough games and was about to throw this controller everytime i got close to losing. it was just that these niggahs keep foulin me and it ain't call it but for them it called it everytime ain't that some gay shit though. but yeah... i'll holler. short blog today, just cause i don't feel like typin that much and i'm hot, headache, STILL SICK, and leg been hurtin all day from this mornings charlie horse. wtf

2008-12-18T14:29:00.001-05:00

i don't know what's real anymore

2008-12-17T01:27:00.003-05:00

" i must've been dusted, cause u look like shit
all these years, they ain't done you no justice "

idk, it's 1:30 and i'm not tired but getting there so i would say i'd prolly be sleep by 2:00, 2:30 maybe. i sat here all day, well not here but you know. i took gma home or whatever, came home and ate and watched my movie. took me all day to finish watchin the day the earth stood still that shit wasn't even all that, i'm dissapointed. i WILL be erasing that shit off my hardrive motherfucker. this song at first wasn't all that, but i started to listening to it more and liking it more and might even play it out til the point where i know everyline like i always do with some budden shit. i don't feel like writin alot tonight though, gotta hit up worldstar and finish watchin videos... that jeezy video was whack but that god damn cd go so hard. i listen to that wholeee shit a COUPLE of times and still that shit sounds hot every time i listen to it. plies album is whack, he fucked up this round. but yeah.

" jus' sad, get mad cause my bitch bad "

i think before i fall asleep, i'm a get a cold cup of water with some ice and shit. turn on my 360 and play the fuck outtah some 2k9. i can't wait til fight night round 4 drop though, that shit looked so hard. it was ali vs tyson... i actually think ali would fuck tyson ass up buttt since they both old and all that good shit we'll never know but thats my opinion. tyson ain't fuckin with ali. but yeah, fuck talkin bout games. i think i'm bout to text tianna bitch ass, even though she's prolly passed out. she need to wake the hell up though, i'll call 50 million times until she actually wakes up and if she don't answer i'll call a couple more times... fuck it. i'm starting to get sleepy now. i usually depend on sleeping pills to put me to sleep which i think i'm a need to refrain from doing but still... them shits help a niggah when i'm wide awake listening to emo music at 4 o clock, downloading movies and watching george lopez and fresh prince repeats. but speakin of george lopez... his show's coming on. let me watch this before i play my early christmas present. oh yeah, CELTICS PLAY HAWKS TOMORROW... everybody should watch that and stuff cause celtics had a hard time beatin them last year so it might be a actual good gamme. who knows ? and nae, i hope something bad happens to you just because i don't like you. but let me go now.

wonderful

2008-12-16T16:52:00.001-05:00

" i got problems like everybody else, they're great problems though "

surprisingly, i ain't as sleepy as the other day. i swear, i fell asleep on moms and nephew yesterday i was too tired to even bother with them. i laid there and fell asleep... got up and walked to my room cause i got hot and went right back to sleep. but today, i'm good.. not as tired just my arm's hurting. went to get my 2k9, already played a few games but believe later i will be OD'n it. i got scared earlier, had spilled a lil water on my laptop and thought i fucked it up. i learned my lesson. but today was boring as everyday of my life but i ain't complaining. got up, could've stayed sleep until it was time for me to leave buttt nobody told me that i could stay sleep and instead i didn't really get all the sleep i wanted. got up, went to take the test... all them motherfuckering numbers! i skimmed through that shit was done madd early. i sat there and waited til people started jumpin up and turning there shit in... i jumped up and toss that shit to him and dipped. payed moms insurance thennn came home chilled for a while. took her back out christmas shoppin ( why call it xmas ? lazy fucks ) got my 2k9 in the process and a few gifts here and there.

lately a few heads been poppin up here and there, meaning some of you online fucks. lena, neesha a few people been tryna hit me up and talk to me. my bad for the hostility, i just don't fuck with nobody and don't feel like being bothered by anyone anymore like that. don't care to talk, so don't bother IM'n me if you see me online or msg'n me on myspace i might just ignore that shit and erase it just to be stubborn. i wouldn't care. i ain't on that emotypeshit i was on the past days, i'm good now. i ain't trippin bout shit anymore, i'm done worryin or pullin my dreads and cutting myself off from the world. cutting myself off from everyone seem to be working pretty fine. i tried to watch ghost town last night but the shit was just that boring that i fell asleep. i think i'll watch it and just fall asleep causeee yeah, that shit was OD dumb but the preview made it seem like it was gone be some funny ass movie. all the jokes are like, dull as hell. i need to find superbad so i can watch that tonight and laugh some, or 40 year ol virgin... either one will do. let me endd this

better man

2008-12-16T01:46:00.004-05:00

" it's crazy how she makes me wanna be a better man for her.. "

so today was boring, i can't complain though. i enjoyed the lil 5 minute exam... the teacher really could've made it a some brain teasers. but she gone put 5 questions. "what state are you in" "what did u like about this class" bitch that ain't no exam and tomorrow/today, will be boring. i did get to watch eagle eye though. shit was actually good to say the least. i watched most of it, then tianna called then i watched the rest after the motherfucker fell asleep on me. righttt noow, i'm not sleepy at all, but i'll try to sleep and if i can't i guess i'll just be up until school time watchin movies or whatevers on TV. right now i'm watchin george lopez, waiting on home improvement or will smith to come on which usually come on and stay on until i pass out. anddd speakin of will, shit just came on but after this blog i'm a jump up and find me something to drink and prolly some chips or something come back and relaxed. i ain't really sleepy because i basically slept for like 5 hours earlier, idk why i was so tired... i barley did alot. i guess i woke up too early. woke up & nobody was here, sold my books for like 40 dollars but only two of them so i was mad i got up so early for 40 dollars... niggah gtfo.

" & even though we’ll fight & may not get along sometimes
It’s cool cause I know that if I fight with you and cry with you
I can make it up all night with you so… "

i've been listening to a mixture of music, i wasted my time downloadin jamie foxx and that keyshia cole bullshit. but anthony & musiq soulchild albums came out aiight. could've been better. and this song " until " by musiq is stuck in my head, it was stuck in my head all day. it ain't even the topic of the song or nothing idk what it is about the song. shit is still playing in my head. but uhh, i'm about to finish listenin to this cd prolly even pop in luvandmusiq also... get me something to drink prolly smoke the rest of my black then come back here and rest until i hopfully fall asleep cause i got an exam tomorrow. MATH exam to be exact, the last exam that i know will be stressful but idc... i'm a go there and zip through that shit. fail or pass, i really don't care no more. it's not the fact that i don't care about school its the fact i don't NEED math, idk why they gave it to me. oh well... my dreads are ticklin my ear and i keep thinkin its a fly or something flyin in my ear... i need to tie these shits back or something. get em re-done, and tie them in a rubberband. let me go though

withdrawal

2008-12-14T02:01:00.008-05:00

" i guess love ain't love, no more..."

so i'm watchin this repeat of this episode, family matters... when carl passes out and steve saves him and shit. i seen this earlier, they can't act for shit... i'm mad i used to like this show. i'd rather watch full house, foreal... the white kids act better then these fuckers. but yeah, this niggah just called me... told me she sat up, in the car... instead of inside of the house, textin someone.. for like almost an hour and which was AFTER we stopped textin, who's there to text like 2AM? i guess she decide to call me cause she was bored after that person went to sleep. idk, idc... i just know she was like pratically my last resort to sanity & that's startin to slowly dissipated. it don't matter though, i'm good... just been feeling mad indifferent, and unstable lately. my cousin kind've in a fucked up place too, i got to hit him up tomorrow... make sure he's aight.

" u know that this ain't my fault, but I ain't even mad at all
just a little hurt, ckuz i know i don't deserve this.... "

i really wasn't going to blog until prolly the days before christmas or after moms chemo which is the 23rd and then it's the 24th which we should be home for the rest of christmas eve so that's cool still. christmas is coming wayyy too fast though, it's gonna end as quick as it come then new years...then it's gonna be 09 and shit thennn another year of prolly the same bullshit but i'll try to make sure shit change. i don't want another year of the same shitt.. i'm tired right now but i'm sorta kindve fightin sleep. i don't want to sleep though, i will after i listen to this song 3232 times more which is the one that's playing now ( trey songz ). i might finish watchin traitor, it was better than i thought it would've been... let me end this.

bad news

2008-12-12T23:22:00.005-05:00

if this is love, I don't wanna see hate. if this is real, i don't wanna see fake
You know that ain't love love, that ain't love love, that ain't love love, that ain't love love

lol, i'm done with it all. i feel like i'm letting too much shit slide by, it's not even big important things though , nothing that just anybody wouldn't let slide. like simple, petty shit. it's just little slick things niggahs/bitches are doing and i'm just lettin 'em get away with it so easily and shit. well, fuck all that as of today/tonight, whatever... i'm just gone keep my distance from some of ya'll for my sake. not even some of ya'll, MOST of ya'll. like the only person i really have any intrest in talkin to is tianna, but i barley talked to her all day and if that go on for much more i'll just stop stressin myself over that and let her text me when she wants and if she don't, i'll leave it at that. i don't see the purpose anymore... anybody else, i gotta say something to ya'll always, if i don't ya'll niggahs won't worry bout me or say shit to me. i gotta say hi, i gotta message you, comment you , text you etc... nah, i'll pass. you not fuckin with me, i'm not fuckin with you. simple & plain.

if ya'll need me, ya'll know how to reach me. other then that, i'm leaving everybody alone for good. i mean none of that emo shit that some of ya'll be on or none of that... i feel alone in this world shit even though i kind've do, but i ain't on none of that shit cause alone is better then be surrounded by most of ya'll. not really surrounded. but on another topic, its like too much going on today. first my mom bring her bf here, my sister bf got him a early present from one of his cousins or whatever. THEN my dads brother come over to see us and shit while HE here. like these niggahs never call until they in the yard you know ? these niggahs think they slick and shit, gone call AFTER they sittin in the yard. after they leave everybody else leave but my moms and her bf and me and my nephew. jj and my sis get back, i'm tryna sleep with my nephew but wake up anyway. now after a while, my sister go to work talkin bout how she leaving to go to a hotel/motel or whatever cause dude spendin the night. idc though, i don't trust him but i'm not leaving MY hosue for him nor am i leaving moms so fuckkk that.

" the lord says forgive I will never forget
shoulda picked up the phone when the times got ugly
i've been misconstrued, lied to & abused, niggahs still swear that they love me "

nooww, my sisters at work and my DAD calls checkin up on us, knowing he calling to be nosey. my sister calls me to tell me that jj, HE JUST BEEN HERE A FEW MINUTES AGO but she said this niggah went wherever and was argue'n with niggahs about how he got a gun and gone shoot niggahs up ALREADY, so she said he's drunk and if she call back to come get her just incase, so i gotta stay up to 1:30. tianna, havent talk to her all day almost... and she tells me she feels sick etc etc she's going to sleep... k, that's nice. my neck hurts & my back hurts... i'm sleepy, i might have to stay up another hour and half, nephew still up... i'm just wylin right now. alot of thoughts running threw my head like i actual got like a million thoughts running through my mind. it's like wild how much different shit is going on right now with me, and how unstable i feel. i felt that way this whole week but let me go and check on my nephew and my momma. i'll blog tomorrow or something. fuck how ya'll feel though.

Our bonds was severed, but all you had to say was fuck me
I smelled your bullshit, consider me lucky

2008-12-12T15:52:00.002-05:00

" baby we could be the greatest love song "

i feel good today, i don't know what happen i just woke up and thought of alot of shit and smiled. took a good shit, a shower... brushed my teeths, played some nba live ( tryna get 09 before this week is over with ) and relaxed. got my 50 from my sister, and went out spendin money like a fool. sister got almost a G on her check, so she going christmas shoppin or just to finish her christmas shopping i figure. i'm def tryna go get this 09 game though, if i don't get it i'll be maddd. CELTICS WON LASTNIGHT... idk who won with utah, hopfully they did. Charlotte bobcats and cleveland are like my secondary teams, i used to fuck with suns but idk about 'em so fuck 'em. and def fuck lakers. but i haven't been on in a minute, cept besides on my phone... was on myspace and shit on my phone off and on just cause my phone got myspace mobile.

Just finished downloadin like my 6th album maybe ? I know download keyshia cole, plies, jamie foxx, anthony hamilton, beyonce, avant & musiq soulchild new shit... okay so i was wrong, 7.. ohwell but you know its maddd albums that leaked this past week and i've been on the grind to get all of them shits. i'm just waiting for another album to leak, i didn't know all these niggahs were dropping next week, maybe they aren't but they shit leaked anyway oh well. i'm gonna relax for the rest of the day and wait til i hear from tianna bitch ass. might go find my box of blacks and smoke the whole box up tonight even though my sis said i need to slow it down. i will but still, shits help me relax and calm myself so... hawluh.

"My yesterday's are gone and tomorrow's never promised to no one
I finally decided girl , that my today is you "

knock yourself out

2008-12-11T01:21:00.003-05:00

sorry for the trouble that i put you & you heart through

so tonight, i'm really tired. i haven't laid down once, my door is wide open and i'm sittin up cause i know in a few i'll have to jump up again and again. if my sister & her bf argue once more i'm just giving up. i'lll just go to sleep with no worry in the world, believe me. but i'm pose to be listening to these albums even though i got a exam tomorrow, i think i'll wake up a lil early tomorrow yenno ? idk what i'm a wear tomorrow though. it might just be a hour though, so i'll run in and get it over with quick... don't really need to dressed down, throw on a white t, pajamas and get it over with. come home and relaxxx, while it rains. it's raining now, it rained since 8 something and i've yet to sleep! god i can't stand my family. but yeah, i'll get the sleep i deserve in a hour or two.

that lil shit jay got on his blog is cool, i think i'll steal that... see if i can find more of these shits. idkwhy, just cause it turned out to be more interesting then i thought it would've been

1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends.
6. Anyone tagged has to do the same, because fun pointlessness spreads like a virus.

If someone says, “Are you okay?” you say?
Shot to the heart - Lil Wanye

How would you describe yourself?
Fatal - J holiday

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Baby - LL Cool J & Dream

How do you feel today?
Out of Character - Avant

What is your life’s purpose?
Knockin Da Boots - Jodeci

What is your motto?
The Game - Common

What do your friends think of you?
Thug me like that - Lil Boosie

What do you think of your parents?
So Fly - Slim & Yung Joc

What do you think about very often?
Sorry, Blame it on me - Akon

What is 2 + 2?
Song Cry - Jay Z

What do you think of your best friend?
Diamond Girl - Ryan Leslie

What do you think of the person you like?
I wish - Carl Thomas

What is your life story?
Red Magic - The Game

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Thugs Mansion(Acoustic) - 2pac & Nas

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Spanish Fly - Jadakiss

What will you dance to at your wedding?
Frontin - Pharell & Jay Z

What will they play at your funeral?
He Can't Love You - Jagged Edge

What is your hobby/interest?
Thank God I Found You - Joe

What is your biggest fear?
Call Up The Homies - Ludacris & The Game

What is your biggest secret?
The One That Got Away - Johnta Austin

What do you think of your friends?
Stay - Brian Mcknight

What will you post this as?
Knock Yourself Out - Jadakiss

whatever

2008-12-10T13:16:00.003-05:00

everybody knows, but nobody really knows

sittin here in my room, finally got it back now that my brother & his broad left. i missed my room and missed my tv and everything in here even though all i did was sit here on the computer and watched tv most of the time in here. nothing else to do, so why not ? it's pose to raining/storming today,tonight, tomorrow and i got exams earlyyy tomorrow like today. tomorrow hopfully the test won't be as long and as difficult as todays. i mean, it wasnt difficult but you know... i didn't study as i do any other day so it wasn't as easy as i thought it would've been. i have hope though. got to school, and most of 'em sittin in the non smokin area where people smoke anyway. so i sat and chilled with them talkin bout people like everyone does and then got up and stood in the hallway with the rest of them. teacher came a few minutes late, valesha still botherin me about getting her something for her birthday. niggah i don't buy family shit on there birthdays unless i got moneyyy soo that's a lost cause.

the teacher came, opened the door... i went in and took the test, tried to go fast but wanted a decent grade. finished, turn it in and leftttt. came home and went RIGHT back out after i get relaxed. i already knew mom was going to do it so i didn't even strip like i always do. we went to umm maxway, foodlion, dollar general, the bank, and then aldis or whatever that store is called. it's like another save alot, just named different and they don't give you bags and u gotta pay a quater for a buggie... how retarded is that. i erased all them bloglinks cause i didn't see no point in having it. i read only a few blogs now and then, and if there long blogs i won't read 'em until times like this where i have nothing to do. i read james blog, tianna's, nae's and some treys. i'd read jae's but she has become predictable to me so i already know what to expect when i read hers

tomorrow is my cpt 101 exam, and i missed the test i had in there. i'll go to the test room to see if she put it there for me to take knowing she prolly didn't, i'll go just in case. i need to also sign up for next semester, go sell my books back to them niggahs monday and take my last exam tuesday and i won't have to wake up at 8 and dress up and ride all the way there to sit and class and listen to them go on and on about useless shit. other then school, i got nothing else going for me. still filling out applications but no calls, so i guess i'll just stick with school for now. i don't got no time to be running after jobs when nobody cares to even call. they put it up they're hiring but i barley even get calls so i say fuck it. i'll try again next year, i don't feel like it anymore. i ain't in the working mood anymore, these niggahs ruined my christmas spirit.

" if you're out there... tomorrow's startin now "

i need a lil chair in here, i don't always wanna lay down and these lil green chairs hurt my back so i'll just sit up and lean against the wall. that's good enough. uhhh, i erased most of my yahoo list and erased most of my phonebook in my phone. i might trim it so more, i don't want numbers just to be in there. my phone's always locked so nobody can really look through my phone or any of my numbers unless i let them. i think i'm going to end this blog soon, i don't know why i've been writing alot lately. i'm just in the bloggin mood more then ever. i'd blog about alot of other shit but i'm tired of complaining. it's just not worth it anymore, when i feel like gettin shit off my mind/chest then i'll just blog but for now, i don't even feel like blogging about any of the shit that's been botherin me. it's a bunch of different shit that's been buggin me. mostly people, family and personal stuff. like who cares about what goes on in between these four walls of mine

i think i'll watch movies, wait for the rain.. and sleep the day away just because i'm in a fucked up mood. i don't know what fucked my mood up, i just don't feel like doing shit today. i don't even feel like cleaning up, watchin my nephew... none of that shit. i just feel like sittin here and relaxin with not a worry in the world. well i was GOING to go smoke a black and take a shit and come back and try to sleep or something buttt i see i have to go drive in the rain if it rains by the time we're on our way back. mom says she gotta go help my grandma with her bills, she's confused and don't know which ones she hasn't paid and has paid or something. idk, she just told me i have to take her after she finish cookin which is soon. so i'm a still take that shit, and smoke that black but nowww i have to leave go all the way across town and see my grandma. it's almost 2, and i feel we wont leave her house until like 4 something and hopefully my sisters boyfriend get the baby for the day cause i'm tired of him already. i haven't even watched him long enough and i'm already tired. i feel like chokin the life outtah somebody, anybody for no reason. ramming somebody car into on coming traffic and shit. idk what's wrong with me, tianna's the only reason i'm still sane. pray for me - hawluh!

it's ridiculous..

2008-12-10T00:17:00.006-05:00

i've had this annoying ass cold for like almost a month now, i'm exaggerating but it really feels like i've been coughin & sneezing for that long. i wake up feeling horrible and go to sleep feeling horrible but i man up and deal with it like every sickness i suffer. other then me being sick i've been dealing with a lot of other stuff lately, it's not none of that depressing type shit though. school hasn't been stressing until up to now, i mean i stuck it out for a while and just did the work but it's just been too much for me. like what's been fuckin with me lately has been all the pointless work. some classes i don't even do work in though. like english & cpt 176 & cpt 101. all we do is go in, and the teacher will talk. and the next class meeting we either have a quick quiz that i usually luck up and pass or we have a lab.

in my english class, we just write papers and dicuss shit and cpt 101 we work behind a computer doing simple shit so that' boring as hell. math, that's like the only class i really try to avoid most of the time. it's not that math, it's the long ass problems. it takes you 10 minutes to finish one problem and all the problems are almost that long, i have no time for that shit. i get annoyed spendin more then a minute on one problem so i just say fuck it. but i blame myself for the stress, i've been slackin with turning in work, going to my classes and doing tests and quizes. i just get lazy and say fuck it sometimes and i know that's gone be the reason i prolly fucked this semester up but oh well. regardless of what happen, fuck school!

today, i took sister to court... mad as hell cause this is the 2nd day in a row i've been forced to get up early. so i'm pissed off and i'm in the shower thinkin about what i'm going to do today knowing i don't have my presentation done nor am i ready for that quiz. so i decide then and there to skip cpt 101.. that class don't matter to me. i'm takin 176, fuck i need 101 for ? sister said i was walkin around the house lookin all mean in the face and ignoring what they we're saying to me. i mean i was just mad for no reason and was thinkin of reasons which made it even worse. start throwin my brother shit around. he pose to be here to help, but he made it harder for me cause mom can't clean up after his mess so i was left with that responsiblity. he can stay in DE.

but i took my sis to court, smoked a black and was calm by the time i got to school. buttt i sat in the car and skipped my first class just cause it would've been pointless if i went. i thought about skippin math and i should've but i still went and learned a lil, he went over the review so i sat and listened for a while. i promise you, jessica acts like she's slow as fuck. she ask the dumbest questions then laugh and try to play it off. i just wanna tell her to sdfu just cause her voice is annoying. i got up and walked out while he was teachin cause i got annoyed cause she was extra loud. textin tianna all day, phone half dead and shit and still tried to charge my phone up every minute. after class though, i sleep for like 2 to 3 hours... and that shit was greattt. i was disturbed a few times but i still decided to go righttt back to sleep

" If I'm totally ignored, I might withdraw "

on another subject, i'm startin to say fuck all these niggahs online. i mean, i'm cool with a few but that's like 4 or 5 people. i mean i fuck with tianna, trey, james, jae and arayah... and i barley talk to some of them as it is. lewan, i known this niggah since we been in middle school together and we're mad cool so he don't count but like the people i talk to almost on a daily basis is mostly tianna now, use to be a handfull of names but now it's like if i don't say shit to nobody, the only person that i'll talk to the whole day is tianna & that's the only person i care to talk to. i mean offline, i talk to most of the annoying fuckers in my class, valesha, tia, kenyatta, few white girls... forgot there names but oh well. some people from highschool & fam but i'm talkin bout online and it's like i TRY to talk to niggahs like bee,arayah, brooke all these niggahs but i see its useless. i won't even speak to them niggahs no more, fuck being nice to niggahs.

i don't refer to ya'll niggahs online as friends, for reasons. if i don't talk to you then that's how i'm a keep it, if i fuck with you on occassions then you're just there for entertainment or just to keep me occupied for then. if i TRY to talk to you in a text or in a msg and you ignore me or brush me off on that bullshit then i'm just leaving it at that. i ain't tryna waste no energy on none of ya'll i just needed something to blog about. and i wroteee too much FUCKyouall

" Old heads said reality is fake & fakes the new real
Nothing's prescribed to me but taking a few pills "

what's real

2008-12-08T22:10:00.003-05:00

" why do i feel so alone ? "

i'm tired & shit, but i think i'll stay up last night and whip up some bullshit work for this damn cpt 101 class. don't ask me why i'm takin cpt 101, and at the SAME time takin cpt 176. like... i'm taking a class where most of the students been there for a while and had to take madd classes before they got there and at the same time i'm takin a class where i'm learning microsoft word, like wdf ? i just bullshit around in that class cause i don't see the purpose. but whatever, i think by next year when i get that money if i don't have enough money to get a car, i'll save up for one. i want a car i don't have to keep paying for each month, and a car that i can just spend a couple G's for and that's it. My sister found a couple deals like that, i wanta good deal... i don't care too much for old cars though.

panthers playing right now, i'm not paying too much attention just waiting for this game to be done and see who wins. my ear is botherin me and these motherfuckers just got a fuckin turnover.. thats some bullshit. idc, i'm a go smoke this black and i WONT be back to blog cause i'm tired of this bloggin shit and yet everyday i get on to blog about what i'm doing or what i plan on doing. my brother leaves tomorrow, i got homework to do and i'm annoyed - hawluh!

2008-12-07T20:57:00.002-05:00

sittin here watchin eastside high, i really don't feel like watchin it so yeah. i'm about to go to sleep or something cause it's boring and my nephew is wide awake so i prolly won't be sleepin anytime soon and he's being madd loud right now and i can barley watch tv. i don't even feel like bloggin right now, ain't really do shit. tried to SLEEP all morning but kept jumpin up and hearin my mom & brother talk. tomorrow i got school. OH SHIT I GOT A RESEARCH PAPER DUE TOMORROW omfg... yo i really didn't pay attention i had shit due. WHICH MEANS

i will have to get on the grind TONIGHT, do alot of work and alot of quizes on mathlab... man oh man. I got a research due tomorrow, a presentation due and godd, i gues i'll give it to her LATE or something. Yeah, let me send her a note right now so i won't fail that stupid ass class. i hope she let me do that, even if she don't i'm a do it regardless. Let me get to it now, cause i'm fuckin up badd

poppin pills

2008-12-06T02:50:00.003-05:00

trouble sleeping - corrine bailey rae

i need to go to sleep, but for some reason i'm fightin it even though i was close to passing out a few minutes ago. sister nem' came in and woke me up, soooo... i'm textin and nobodies responding. i hate that, i text for people to respond and keep me entertain until i fall asleep on them. after this i'll text everybody in my contacts to see who responds and then if its somebody i don't wanna talk to don't respond back. i should just take my black ass to sleep, watch tv til i fall asleep like i do any other night. i really wanna watch spiderman 3 but i know i'll watch 5 minutes of it and be knocked out like last night when i keep falling asleep on 40 year old virgin

idk why i decided to blog again. i'm laying here listening to musiq's new album "radio" few decent track, but it ain't no half crazy type heat... it's like he's switched up his style a lil and its kind've boring... but i'm a still listen to him regardless i downloaded avant's cd, idky i even bothered getting mya's shit. prolly cause she looks like someone i used to know and i wanna hump her face. i know she can sing, but she can't make songs cause she sucks... AWL HELL rosanne boring ass coming on. timeee to turnnnn

19 - 2

2008-12-05T21:10:00.006-05:00

bed - j holiday

lost my wallet, almost wrecked a FEW times and yelling at the cars that almost hit me in walmart, man today was aighttt.. sumter is maddd boring it was like nobody important in walmart or at the mall. i mean a few broads that WORKED in the stores but besides that i seen like two people, said whassup to whatshisface.. smh @ me forgettin his name THAT quick. oh well, niggah tryna grow his dreads shits lookin all short and ugly LOL, his cousin or w/e she was baddd though, lil lightskined short thang. i didn't care though, seen alot of thick broads tonight for some reasonm never see em any other night. i was maddd that i had to go take my grandma then do all this other bullshit. but then i forgot i was mad once i got to the store so that's whatever

i don't be seeing NOBODY when i go out but that's because i went out like 1-2am that time.. that was only last weekend. Went riding at like 12 something and nobody was out. was supirsed the mall was open at that time. so yeahhhh, went to the store back and forth tryna be on the phone and listen to the CD i had in the cd player. i'm about to watch this halftime shit and wait for the game to come back on. celtics are winning by 13 right now, halftime cuzzo! - hawluh!

2008-12-04T23:51:00.003-05:00

motherfucker i'm SPECIAL! well atleast to her i am. but i'm sittin here watchin the 40 year old virgin for like the 20th time and shit. Andy is stupid as fuck, even though i seen this movie so many times i still laugh like a damn fool and his dumb ass comments/actions.

" i be nailin her & she be like aww YOUR NAILING ME "
"ooohh mee so horny, me love youuu long time"

but fuck bloggin about this movie, i'm watchin spiderman 3 after this goes off. this week has been madddd crazy. i mean, not even this week just these past few days. like lastnight started shit off... i'm calling tianna bitch ass 3232 times tryna wake her up to keep my company cause i can never go to sleep until like 3 or 4 so yeah. this niggah JJ pulls up and him and my sister outside argue'n face to face like they bout to fight like two grown men and shit so i'm buggin. i open the door and tell em to calm down. sister come in, he outside talkin shit and gone yell he leaving... he pull back in the yard and come in talkin shit. long story short, this niggah drunk as hell and he ready to fight everybody. i'm there talkin to him and shit, he's telling me about some dude pullin a pistol on him and puttin it to his head then he goes outside to cool down and its like he's actually out there fightin somebody, talkin shit... in the neighbors yard talkin shit. yelling through the window AC.

so yeah, after like 3 and tianna sleep on me and i got nobody to talk to until i pass out they in the car and he calm and shit, i end up falling asleep and not even waking up til like 9:30 something and i gotta be at school by 9:55, i usually leave 9:20 to get a good upfront park. so i skipp that class and i go to my second one but don't even go. i walk pass the room and see him in there and a empty class basically so i don't even bother going in. i sit in the car and play on my phone the wholeee time. i finally leave and the class over, and i dip get home and try to relax for a while but my nephew botherin me. i basically had him ALL day and he drove me crazy, i smoked atleast 3 blacks today which is HORRIBLE for me. i need to quit smoking. and that wraps it up i think. watched american gangster early, finally got in touch with brittany and i hadn't talk to her ass in 21342 years but i'm done bloggin now. let em focus on my movie and relax. - hawluh!

2008-12-02T20:49:00.005-05:00

i'm laying here, watchin' this transformers movie and shit... it's getting to the good parts and shit but i think i'm a pause it to go smoke a black or something. i was going to delete my blogspot but i felt like if i did it would be wayy too much work you know ? - i went, and ended up do more shit... but now i'm back to write a little more before i close my laptop. uhh, fuck shanae idkwhy she be acting like she too good for niggahs... knowing damn well she JUST aight. let me leave her alone in other news tianna just hung up on me. called, sat and talked to me for like 5 second then hung up. oh well, i wrote about my research paper earlier butttt i still haven't started it and i don't plan on doing it until 12 or 1:00am yenno ? I need to go buy me a pack of lighters and keep them shits hidden from these niggahs cause they keep stealin mine. i had a red one, a blue one and now i can't find 'em. what kind've bullshit is that ?

my nose is running, this cold is still bothering me from like 2 to 3 weeks ago but i'm getting over it slowly but i'm still getting over it so that's all that matters. my nephew been walking back and forth whine'n and i know he's sleepy but i don't want to put him to sleep so quick cause he'll be tossing and turning and my sister is pregnant and she's easily to get mad so if she don't get her sleep she will be up angry and cussing and walking back and forth and all that gay shit. let me get to this movie though even though i've seen it twice, well once. but yeah i'll blog later. - hawluh!

lol@tyrese "man... if you seen this shit"
need another movie with him in it, that niggah can act his ass off regardless if he tries too hard and can't make albums. last album sucked badly... wdf am i till typing.

2008-12-02T15:55:00.003-05:00

so longgg, bitch you did me soo wrong

the song i got up is STILL stuck in my head, that's sad. I'm tired from today, went to school came home and had to leave again. I guess i'll start on my report tonight, write something up and might even skip class tomorrow idk yet but i'm going to bullshit around and be up 12 something writing a rough draft i just know cause i'm that lazy and i don't care like that so that will end up happening & i failed the two quizes... i already know oh WELL. fuck math, idc about math anyway. i'm about to go back lookin for something do on this piece of shit since sister left with the car

oh yeah, i got my ass dragged in 2k9 last night. THREE TIMES, first spurs THEN new york knicks. like these teams don't even matter and they killing me. that's a damn shame. atleast i got a game where i'm having trouble so it won't be TOO easy and i just get tired of winning but if i ain't winning i get mad caue i'm losing. oh well, BYE

2008-11-30T23:56:00.003-05:00

i don't give a FUCK how you feel

so right now, it's almost 12. i got school in the AM so i make sure i'll be sleep before 3 or 4... either or don't matter to me as long as i have more then 4 hours of sleep for school tomorrow. IF NOT i will be falling asleep in them classes which shouldn't last as long being that its like the week before the last week. I got not even 7 days left. I got 6 days left of school and that 6th day i might not even come so i'm good & shit. fuck this, i need to sell my books ASAP, i'm walkin round here planning on the money i'm a get i might be stuck with them all. my mom is wake which means she'll be telling me to go to sleep so. but yeah, let me play this game and take a shit before i lay down and text a whole bunch of useless motherfuckers just to annoy them.

fuck this internet shit, i erased my CS page and was thinkin about delete'n my Myspace but i don't feel like all that trouble so it'll stay up. fuck all you readin this and the ones that DIDNT read it. and the ones that skimmed when it's like 2 sentences that are baically the same jibba jabber bullshit about the same shit i blog/whine about every other fuckin day so you read one day you won't have to read the next you'll already know what i'm typing about. school, how i hate the internet, how i'm depressed when the next minute i'm a good mood. IDK i just know i want you all to fuck off

i'm gone, go get your bleed on. hawluh

2008-11-30T20:57:00.001-05:00

I hope you cant sleep and you dream about it
& when you dream I hope you cant sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you cant breathe without me

2008-11-30T19:13:00.003-05:00

just give me 10 minutes, i just need 10 minutes alone.
to not deal with a thing to not answer my phone...

let me smoke this black in peace.

calm down

2008-11-30T12:11:00.004-05:00

" In the street I stand, wit' my heat in hand
For what reason, I don't remember beefin'. "

I got a headache, well a minor one. I've been gettin them alot latley, idk where they're coming from but it's annoying. It's prolly cause i'm part sick but the nyquil knocked SOME of the cold outtah me but it didn't do much, i might need some mucinex or w/e it's called & wdf my S button keep acting up. I gotta keep going back cause the s never comes up, that's really really annoying. but oh well it should stop sooner or later. I jut finished playin a quick season of 2k9 on ps3... fck a 360 i want a ps3 even though it cost like 400, oh well. I might sell the xbox and the controllers and try to get one cause i'm really loving my brothers. I might steal his shit unless i go get a 2k9 on xbox. idk, this thanksgivin wa great though. not the food... SOME of the food and shit but like just to be around fam was cool to me, and to have brother here and shit was cool so yeah, and if troy come down i'll be able to record something before he leave and brother will be right back down here.

" Note to self on my hand: Get even, I don't remember needin' re-venge.
Now anybody comin' toward me, I'm reachin' "

this internet thing is so boring nowadays, i remember getting on and being on for a whileee just in conferences with wan, jeanri and all them other hos or just sittin here and chattin with 'em and laughin... shit use to be poppin now all i do is talk to broads on and off and i barley do that anymore cause most of em text me so wtf i need yahoo, and CS for ? this shit i like mad pointless. just know that sooner or later i will be getting rid of all this shit and a niggah will be on mobile 24/7, might not even be on mobile and just say fuck this online shit and hop on to check hiphop sites get some downloads in and blog once or twice then hop off and play the game or go out and bullshit around. which theres nothing to do in sumter so i'll mostly try to get up to rockhill and go to charlotte. i might go to wintrop knowing its 20 mins from charlotte and shit.

today, was mostly like yesterday. it rained all night and woke up to rain. howd i know it was raining without moving, i could hear it on the AC. can't really hear it on the roof cause motherfuckers keep tv's on in this house all loud for no reason. Jj bitch ass left for pampers three hours ago and still hasn't came back. niggah can lieee, he took my fuckin black to like i bought it for him to take it & ride around sumter with... motherfuckers be on that other shit. i'm a go cook though, brother gone burn something up, he focused on this madden game he's losing. HA niggah, shouldn't brag with that whack as team. nah, he was doing aight latley... had a 11 win streak but i think he bout to fuck it up - hawluh!

thin line

2008-11-26T20:56:00.008-05:00

" Did I outgrow me or shit jus' didn't stick ? " - today was boring, nothing special happened really. didn't have to go to school so that was the good thing about the day... yenno ? tried to watch a movie with my people but the movie was some bullshit. corny shit, speakin in a different language in all... so we took it out and went on with our way. celtics are losing right now.. i'm highly upset with these niggahs puttin them lame niggahs in and shit like we was dragging warriors. but yeah, in other news... i'm craving a black&mild right now and shit. my sister is too. tianna called me, textin in my ear and all that good shit so i hung up on her since they we're so important - fuck is wrong with her ? nah she's cool. i just did that cause i don't like people textin in my ear even though i do it to some people but not her.

celtics - 59 : warriors - 70

i think i'll go to sleep/bed early tonight, i need some rest for tomorrow. i'm a do alot of shit this week... i WANT to go get this game nba live but i don't even know if my brother gone leave his 360 here even though he has the ps3. it don't matter, i'll spend that money i got on something else. i've been bloggin too long, i have over 100 blogs and there all bullshit blogs. i mean i sometimes talk about something but it don't be important shit and long writtings of interesting shit that niggahs'll be all up to the computer to read. why ? ckuz i don't like revealing shit like that, even though i enjoy ventin i'll keep that for another time or something. wait til' i'm depressed or something.. i MIGHT blog but when am i ever really depressed ? basically when i listen to some down music and think about shit and be on my emo shit ( i don't really be emo, but you get me ) let me go text this trick now. she's prolly mad - hawluh!

2008-11-25T19:52:00.001-05:00

I don't want to go to bed, mad at you &
I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me

2008-11-25T18:52:00.002-05:00

i'm not perfect, but i got a desire to improve.

i don't feel like being bothered today, idk why i feel this way. i'm just in a down mood now, it just hit me out of no where. my text messages are acting gay and shit, my moms bothering me about going to walmart to take this bed back and shit at 8. so i got a hour to relax and then i'll have to get my black ass up which is what i don't want to do. time to watch a movie or something. ya'll niggahs need to chill with all the phone calls. hawluh

2008-11-23T12:00:00.003-05:00

" hi haters, i'm sorry for the hiatus... you know i stay up in pussy like vibrators. " - finally this joe & game track drop, nothing special or you know something to go crazy over but the song is decent. game bout to drop a video soon also, the lil shit with ne-yo so this needs to drop and that needs to drop & game'll be back out there on the market or whatever you want to call it. brother in town, i'm thinkin bout going up to DE with him when he leave but then again christmas is coming i think i'll stay here and then leave before next semester start yenno ? but yeah, nephew afraid of him, he bought his p23... i will be up all night playin that shit if he leaves it with me. i'm tired, i couldn't sleep at ALL.. i was laying on these cushions from outtah this chair just because the air bed went out and i got tired of it like i always do.

nae, don't be gay. you enjoy my blogs regardless if i'm just typin bout bullshit. i don't VENT cause i go too deep & ya'll niggahs ain't ready for my deep side. i'm like a poet when i vent niggah... nah i'm bullshittin but foreal! i do get deep son, that's just me though. today, i think i'll chill for a while then get up and go out somewhere jusst because it's sunday. just ride... ( i thought it was saturday ) but yeah, i got school monday & tuesday.. how whack right ? i think i'm a just walk in and out thougjh cause my teacher said something about confrences, i ain't stayin for that bullshit. i'm tired of writin, FUCKIN HAWLUH!

i can change your life

2008-11-21T13:50:00.004-05:00

" i can change your life, if you let me... i can do it. " - So i basically did the house cleaning for moms, mainly because brother come home for holidays or whatever, and she told me to clean up. did my room, bathroom, living room, her room, her bathroom, i'm fuckin tired but i still gotta get up and drive her around the city to shop or whatever. that's gonna be hell, we're just waiting for my sister to get home. we'll leave, cash that check... go to all these side stores and save walmart for last. i hate going to walmart cause its always crowded and you always see people you know. that's annoying. idk why i always wake up, 5 or 6 in the morning and text tianna... or call her. it's like a habit now. everytime i fall asleep i jump up and call her. smh

" I'll treat you good, just a little...
Kiss u on ur lips, the ones passed ur hips "

i gotta go check the scores for that suns game lastnight, i'm hopin lakers got that ass whopped but i know with kobe them niggahs pulled something incredible last night. pistons got DRAGGED by celtics. the green team, yenno ? nobody fuckin with celtics right now. wait til' the playoffs... THEY BETTER MAKE IT. i'm a get my jersey and all, these motherfuckers better make it. my arm's hurtin though, i'm layin in a uncomfortable position and i gotta jump up in 15 minutes to get dressed and i don't feel like getting up period. i just want to fall asleep right here. so yeahhh niggah i'll blog later or something like that, hawluh!

she can see my halo

2008-11-20T17:42:00.006-05:00

" i don't know what's real anymore " - so i'm sittin here, and the heat from this laptop is burning me but somehow i'm ignoring it for the time being. i don't have school tomorrow, which i'm happy about. i get tired of waking up having to go sit in a boring ass class and shit... i fuckin hate it plus i be feeling all sick, that's even worst. let me listen to this halo song by beyonce, tianna says she put it as my ringtone. knowing she hates me right now, the song might be another "ireplaceable" joints. nah, idk... i fuck with beyonce but then agian i don't. she can sing, and her songs are straight but i just can't fuck with her like that. i'd rather bump diamond ( i mean jazmine sulivian. )

happy birthday kaila...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
What happens when you marry an $82 million hip-hop brand
and an $80 million R&B empire? You get Hollywood's best-paid power couple.
Will & Jada came second - OWWW

i'm a go listen to this song now, i hate broads actin all out of character though. i need to start being rude to these lil hos and get 'em in check so they'll watch what the fuck they say to me. yenno ? let me go, moms being annoying about bringin her pampers and shit. fuckin annoying, that niggah piss every ten seconds. let his slow ass walk around rank if he won't go to the potty, HE NEED TO LEARN YENNO ? but yeah, she keeps repeatin herself but now i'm back to type more, listenin to this halo song by beyonce, i don't listen to broad music but i'm a r&b addict, and regardless who's singin it i'll like it if it sounds good yenno ? so to stray away from seemin homoish, i don't fuck with broad music & this ho tianna got me listenin to beyonce. but it's cool, i'll download the cd tonight - DONT JUDGE ME! i'll blog later tonight if i'm still awake to blog or tomorrow morning or something. HAWLUH!

2008-11-20T15:41:00.002-05:00

" if you leave, then i'll leave - i'll let it go " - disregard those last two blogs, i wrote them shits in a hurry. specially the one before this one. i was in class waitin for the teacher and she happen to come in just a lil too early and catch me on the internet "erin, get off myspace" class was madd boring though, we sat and went over the easy ass test i got 73/75 points on it, but didnt do the 25 questions so i didn't get the whole 100 or whatever. then we answered some questions and got to leave whenever we was done with that.. math class was the same, sorta. we just went over another chapter and i really feel that class is useless, i could just buy the book and teach my self... he ain't no help, niggah be readin out the book how retarded. he kinda helps out when the book don't be explaining enough.

got homee, and relaxed then went and checked the mail & stuff. today was mad weird, idk. i was driving all crazy and shit, i'm a kill myself one of these days on the road. i need to stop drivin all fool. kids was walkin home in the neighborhood today, i got soo mad these lil niggahs walkin behind my car. i'm walkin and they standin behind me chattin and playin around. i shoulda ran 'em over. tianna's actin weird, idk... never been in this situation to know how to handle it. i'm just tryna get it back to how it was, and how comfortable i was... now everything's all whack and i feel akward, i don't like that feeling. something needs to happen ASAP! i don't even like puttin my bidness out there so i won't even talk about it anymore. but yeahh, all i did today was ignore the teacher and write songs like i always do. which is gone be the main reason i have to take these same classes later in the years.

i gotta register for my classes and get my finacial aid shit right. lmao @ my pops sendin ME money on my SISTERS birthday. like, this niggah is cheap as fuck, he sent us 50 dollars to split up and he wrote a list that reads " erin - 30 nikki - 15 lil jay - 5 " this niggah is slow, i'm ashamed to call him my father. fuck him though, him and that bald head broad he fuckin'. niggah has NO taste. my brother pose to be coming home this weekend, and it pose to be a suprise but my big ass mouth fucked that up being that i was so happy knowing something THEY didn't know i hinted around and they guessed. FUCK THEM! owwww, let me dip now and watch this movie. i been puttin it to the side for 2 nights... shit and i barley got school now, ckuz all i got is monday and tuesday which might be walk in and walk out classes. then i got a whole weekend of me bullshittin around i need to stop fallin asleep earlier. let me shut up and I FUCKIN HATE YOU SHANAE. idk why, i just do.

2008-11-20T09:52:00.001-05:00

" i give you my all, but it seems like that's not enough " - i'm in class right now, so fuck bloggin'. i didn't get to comeback & blog cause them motherfuckers had me in walmart all night... but i promise i won't forget this time. plus my internet at home is being gay, i couldn't get on the internet at all lastnight.. and i got mad and just went to sleep. i guessss.

oh yeahhh, yesterday i seen this baddd broad in walmart, but i was in line up at the counter they passed by and i happened to glance back a lil or whatever, i just say she was bad cause she was lightskinned, i didn't really see her face. i'll eb back though - hawluh!

2008-11-19T15:45:00.002-05:00

i'll blog in a minute, i got to go to walmart & pick up my medicine. i got some infection from the surgery they did with the pulling teeth joint, so now i gotta take antibiotics... i'm allergic to penicillin so idk what they're giving me. AND i gotta find something to put over my hair ckuz like always it's kind've wet and it's fuckin 27 degree outside AND the wind is blowing AINT THAT SOME SHIT ? i said i love the cold but fuck this, i'm too easy to get sick. I can't be sick all winter, and nae... idk how to do that comment shit with this layout. you'll be aight, i don't be feeling like readin the comments anyway. i'll argue with you through your lame ass comments.

i'll be back, if ya'll come to my blog before i acutally get to blog. HAWLUH!

2008-11-18T14:15:00.003-05:00

" i'm so easily sidetracked " - so i just wet my hair, not on purpose... it happens everytime i'm in the shower. oh well ? i know if i keep it up i'll get sicker and sicker yenno ? so i guess i'm a just stop wettin my hair. my teeth are hurtin right now, like always... i guess i'll justdeal with it until wed. which is basically tomorrow... damn i'm slow. i gotta wash my teeth and rinse and all that good shit just so the doctor won't know i've been smokin latley, even though he said after a week i could... but still i told him i didn't smoke. spongebob is on, about to watch tropic thunder, it tried to last night and couldnt stay wake & my neck was hurtin. tianna bitch ass hung up on me cause i told her i was still smokin... what a faggot right ?

today, was boring. had a test, went though it then in math he taught us the next chapter which ddidn't really look complicated just alot of thinkin and alot of work or what not. i'm with it, i'm a do the homework tonight, get on my job make sure i pass that bullshit of a class and i dont even think i NEED math 110, but if i do i'll be aight. my mouth taste like nyquil even after i had some water after it. i'll be aight, the taste should go away sooner or later. this niggah BARS let me hear some beats today, he selling em for 30.. niggah i can STEAL your beats. but yeah, keshia and her nice round ass walked by while we was chillin. it was maddd cold. lmao@her climbin through the passenger side to the driver side. wooww. i would be so ashamed to do that shit in public and then actually talk about it and class and laugh - priceless. my nose is runnin and my neck is hurtin... shit was hurtin alll day since this morning. i need to relax - hawluh!

come winter

2008-11-16T18:25:00.004-05:00

" i got a feelin that they all the same. " - my tooth hurts, i think it's from smokin that black&mild... oh well it should go away sooner or later... if not i'll be alright, i can't ALWAYS complain yenno ? so like, my day has been fine so far... didn't really ignore the world as i inteneded but atleast i got my point across that i didn't really wanted to be bothered & of course i wasn't. i'm still watchin the same movie from last night, crazy i know.. but it's a long ass movie & for some reason i keep pausin the damn thing to do other shit and never resume. i'm a get back to it after this blog just because i know i won't do anything else. i need to burn a new movie & erasin the ones i've already burnt just to clear out the space on my laptop - 200 GB ( i think ) wasn't enough to satisfy my black ass.

so in my affilates section, i added brooke & the ho nae only to make the list longer and because i off and on read there shits. so the stars is mostly for the blogs i go to daily or everytime i log on, the others are the blogs i hit up every now & then and skim through there shit just to be on the nosey side ya dig ? tianna hit me up like... once today, i see. that's cool though, it's whatever. i'm suprised i only missed like 2 days in one of my classes... that's like so crazy to me. i could've sworn i missed more but i won't say shittt. that's math, idk about my others. hopfully some where round 2 or 3, cause i can miss 7 days. I'll be missing a few in the future so yeah... got to go back and forth with moms to columbia for her chemo sessions and those shits are so boring. sit up there for atleast 6 hours, sometimes i'm in the back w/ her or i'm in the waitin room messing round with my laptop. it's too long to be sittin still... but i'm a go now - hawluh!

halfcrazy

2008-11-16T06:59:00.005-05:00

so i basically spent almost 2 hours workin on this piece of shit, just because i felt like changin' it. i mean i didn't want to, but i already knew it was round the time i needed to change, this won't stay for too long... well it may but i mean i might change it up a lil or someshit. i been up since 3, i woke up for no reason at all... looked at my phone & seen it was dead, charged it... jumped up, got some water and grabbed my starburst and sat here and did a bunch of shit i ment to do before falling asleep. my dvd was finished, so i watched that to make sure it was actually done & not fucked up. now i'm burning a second dvd, i'll wake up and toss another in there. but for now... i'm a get my drink, lay here and watch a movie and ignore the world for the rest of the day.

it's a possibility i'll come back and blog like i seem to never do, but i'm saying... maybe i feel like how i feel now and just blog. i don't vent as much, cause i don't be on the edge anymore... well let me not talk too soon. i mean, i vent when i'm on the road to depression or when somethings going on and i don't really like talkin to people that'll have negative comments about it or whatever. i just feel like i can say anything here and not worry about the reaction. for this whole sunday, i'm blankin my thoughts. just leaving all the stressful, bullshit, annoying ass people & shady motherfuckers out of my thoughts. if they happen to sneak in my head, i'll smoke 'em out ( i hope my black & mild still be in the bathroom ). but for now, i'm a relax until i fall asleep.

bad karma

2008-11-16T04:33:00.004-05:00

maybe i'm in a relationship with bad karma
would've pass the somber, maybe i attract drama

allnightlong

2008-11-16T04:27:00.004-05:00

" i'll do whatever it takes... "

it's 4:30, and i'm sittin here watchin Dennis The Menace or whatever this is called, this movie is mad old or whatever. I'm sittin and watchin how dumb this old man is, i know it's just a movie but still, how dumb can you be... i know he's old and don't understand but come on yenno ? i'm writin cause my phone died and its chargin now. I knew i should've just charged while i used it. but back to this movie man, i might fall asleep, might now. but my computer got 10GB left, and i'm steadyin downloadin shits of movies. what is my problem ? i need to burn all these movies already, Burn this movie tonight, download some more tonight then burn 'em all tomorrow...

i'm gone though, i'll be back to blog prolly in 5 minutes just cause i won't like how this blog makes my shit look. i refuse to change my layout thingy, too much work lookin for a brand new layout then gettin it stright with the colors. why always change ? idk, don't see the point.

everything

2008-11-15T22:04:00.002-05:00

your niggah ain't seeing me, i put that everything.

whatever motherfucker

2008-11-14T23:48:00.004-05:00

" i don't know you... "

thank you very much, i slept through it all... why couldn't i sleep through the storm. for those that don't know, me & storms don't really mix too well. that's like my only weakness besides tianna and my tooth. i think i fucked up by smokin, i think i should listen to tianna and just stop for good. idk why i'm being hardheaded, maybe the same reason she decides not to answer my calls. i know she ain't sleep and thats gettin on my nerves. i'm a watch the weather all night, until i can actually fall asleep and the ONE PERSON that would've help me get it off my mind is not answerin my damn calls, ain't that some shit ? but whatever, my tooth hurts and shit.. i got headaches coming and going. My sister's in the hospital, she was omitted aww... she said she felt pressure. THAT means she wont be able to work WHICH means i don't get my money like i should. DAMN i gotta get that before jay jay leave in the AM. Sht i need my money dawg, i think i'm going to buy 2k9 JUST so i can drag niggahs in it. but let me go

time to call tianna a million times, you think i won't ? i don't feel like talkin to none of these other birds tonight. yenno ? i'm used to hearin her voice and closing my eyes now, any other voice will only make me uncomfortable. idkwhat is wrong with her, she cryin in her blogs about her moms and the lip ring being gay. NIGGAH NO MATTER WHAT SIDE IT IS ON, IF YOU A DUDE WITH A LIP RING YOU GAY. that goes to wayne and all his followers. and btw Jeezy album was the best album this year... hands dwn

" there apart of the list, things that i miss... "

living legend

2008-11-13T21:57:00.003-05:00

Regardless, MJ still and will remain the best in my eyes. Kobe is a cheap imitation of the great one, niggah that say he's better or any of that other bullshit ( like lewan or james jr ) can go eat a dick though

i'm just SAYING

love me or leave me alone

2008-11-11T19:24:00.003-05:00

love me or leave me alone.

so long, goodbye

2008-11-11T19:13:00.004-05:00

" so long, goodbye... "

sometimes i feel like bloggin, then sometimes i feel like writing one line just to express how i feel/felt throughout the day but... too many feelings to express in one line so i'll just write a bunch of bullshit like everyone always do. complain my ass off, until my fingers tire out. nothing to really complain about though, just that i don't fuckin care about school & i'm already wantin to just stop going even though i know i won't. my teeth are still ache'n a bit, idk if it's suppose to feel like this or not but i'll find out in the AM when i go get checked up.

Happy birthday Sis, just incase I forgot to blog or write that tomorrow.... Time to watch some movies, listen to music, watch tv... some bullshit to keep me entertained until i get sleepy and pass out.

" hate me or love me "

some blissful shit

2008-11-10T19:02:00.005-05:00

" i just want you to know, you're my favorite girl . . . "

my teeth are still kind've hurtin, but not as horrible yenoo ? i'm good now, but i'll make sure i complain when i got to the dentist. i wanted to skip school today & tomorrow but it seems like moms won't let me and i don't wanna upset her and shit so i'll just go to school or whatever so she won't get sick. her kemo's thursday, my sisters birthday is wed and i got to get check up then so yeah things should be cool and stuff. i'm watchin some bullshit on nick i'm about to turn from this channel though. tianna's ignore'n me & i think she's a dyke on DL... I KNOW THESE THINGS. i know a dyke when i see 'em, i've been with too many and stuff like that so how you gone fool rello ? school was boring, valesha keeps complaining about catchin my colds its her fault she sits by me and shit. english was annoying, motherfuckers sat and TALK like... that's boring as hell. I fall asleep while she runs her fuckin mouth. I can't wait til we hurry and write this report

but yeah, i blogged just to update this bullshit. i swear these motherfuckers can't act. i hate watchin shows where these niggahs actin is shitty. niggahs can't even fake laugh without lookin stupid. man let me turn this shit off... get me some pills & watch my movies. block myself from the world tonight. BLAME TIANNA, she's the reason i'm always emo or depressed... yes it's her. she's the fuckin reason! but oh well. PEACE

" they try to holler but they all on MUTE "

late night tooth aches

2008-11-07T04:46:00.003-05:00

" she's gone be my vixen, my bed'll be her stage... "

the pain, has kept me up since 2:30... i swear this broad NEVER answers her phone or even responds to my texts but soon as i ignore hers or some shit she's sooo mad. lol, ok. my teeth hurt, cheeks, jaw and all that. its like my bottom lip and jaw and bottom teeth are still numb... that shit is the most aggarvatin, the most annoying thing that i already know won't go away or so they say. so it's almost 5:00 and i'm not even droozy, well i'm a bit sleep but i don't know about sleepy to the point i'll fall asleep as soon as i close my eyes. but other then that, i just been on CS&MS bored as fuck, msg'n random ass people. i'm a go back and CS and do some more of that after this

but when it hits 5:00 i'm a turn my tv on ( gotta find my remote ) lay here and watch some bullshit tv and if i get bored or whatever nothing's good on then i guess i'll just turn around and face the wall until i fall asleep. it doesn't always work but oh well.

" far from highend i jus' know what suits me "

2008-11-06T18:46:00.006-05:00

hello, tianna here.

i felt the need to blog here since im feelin the way that long blog shit is making my blog look.

if that sentence even made sense.

the ugly bitch in front me is probably wondering why i keep glancing at her , shes not very appealing her eye makeup is just bothering me. she is too dark to be wearing baby blue eye shadow , and she has a bad weaveee. i dont mean to be mean i just dont like for people to "not look right" , on a normal day i would walk up to her and ask who did her hair and say that it was cute all that blazay blazay , but today i might lash off and tell her the truth , im not prepared for her response because im bleeding so ill just keep my thoughts to myself.

in the mean time ... jarell can finish this blog or whatever.

i just wanted to post that.

-tyda.

------------------------------------------------------------

" i must got a angel, ckuz look how death miss his ass - unbreakable! "

yeah, idk why she wrote on my blog. i don't mind though. for the most part i'm in pain but i can endure alot so that's what i've done all day, was yellin and hittin walls earlier when it hurt to swallow my spit which turned out to be clots of blood that wouldn't stop drippin on my mouth. i'm good now, i can actually eat but it hurts like fuckin hell. i would've rather go to school then went through that bullshit. and i kind've sorta felt like i was awake during the surgery but i remember trying to wake up, lookin at that window above the room and them telling me i can get up now. taking the lil tubes out my arm and nose and shit. i'm too stubborn to have them walk me out the door so i basically tried to pull away and walk myself but they wouldn't let go of me. i ended up walking to the house by myself, just wanted to see if i could do it... i felt like i could. i wasn't THAT dizzy.

so, i'll be out for 3 days, meaning i'll be sick & shut in for 3 days. can't go no where, can't, barely can talk... barley can even walk alot.. but oh well i'll be aight. umm, they gave me all these rules. keep a ice pack on it, rinse with salt water after brushing, never lay flat down, don't spit out the blood clots it'll hurt... WHICH i did before even reading any such paper. and i actually was in so much pain when i got home... i don't feel that much better... just it isn't that mild now, it's like just a lil bit of pain when i move my mouth alot or try to eat. not much when i talk unless when i have to open my mouth allll the way but let me stop complaining. i'm so dead at these niggahs though, i don't care how bad a bitch is... jealousy & envy would never force me to stoop that low. I have too much pride to do some bullshit like that, regardless. But all in all, it seems like female shit to me. i don't ENTERTAIN IT!

on some other bullshit, i know for a fact i'll be in SC for a while well until moms get better and be able to go to work and all that good shit. i'm nervous to see how she pull out of that kemo, she got 3 doctor appointments next week.. i WILL be missing school tuesday and thursday.. i'll go tuesday and wed ( sister's brithday & doctor check up day ) her kemo's thursday, i def don't care if they drop me outtah that class... I HAVE to go to columbia with her regardless of school. I got next semseter to do it over .theres no second chance w/ life

" only once the drugs are done - then i feel like dyinnn "